Eye of the Storm in Current Events

Well, at least I can say that the plot hasn’t thickened at work over the last couple of days.

I had a first aid course yesterday so I wasn’t at the office. I hate icebreakers. I had to tell everyone about a hobby of mine. I said that I was obsessed with astrology and needed help. Over lunch, someone came and approached me about it. He is from Nepal and studies Vedic astrology. They use sidereal charts which is just astronomy. Astrology is powered by the sun relative to its center of force. I introduced him to the physics that astrology teaches. How every religion was using astrotheology to teach it. He is a Scorpio, Sagittarius rising. His interest in that is exactly what I would expect from him. When I see Scorpio placements, there is a higher chance that they are not an NPC. They can destroy everything they are and understand and start again.

We talked about the Veda’s also. He is a Hindu. He was impressed by my knowledge about that. I connected it to astrotheology for him. They have a million gods and I explained how the Christian Bible consolidated them into one. Krishna was the lamb of God first. He is also a fan of Sadhguru. He recommended his book Death. He told me that he wished my city had Vipassana Meditation. It would be a 10-day retreat of silent meditation. A society-detox. I told him to make a center. White people will eat it up. What they did to Yoga here… he agrees is despicable but what are you gonna do? I would try that out.

I had a wild conversation with a corrections officer that I was paired up with at the first aid course. He believes that my work is making things worse. I’m just introducing criminals to more criminals which will make more gangs and criminals. Our boys are just pretending to be nice and innocent but it us vs them.

My coordinator dropped off our cheques over our lunch break. I got my 20k expense claim reimbursement. I emptied my credit cards as soon as I got home. I was sick in January, my ADHD executive dysfunction targeted my personal finances a bit. I played Tetris with my credit cards to get myself through it. Payday, I would empty my cards. Reimbursements, I would empty my cards. I wasn’t getting ahead, I noticed. I finally audited my cards and found some expenses that I absolved. As we know. Now that the dust has settled here, I have it back. I got to knock down my credit line. It is almost empty. This is a relief because I haven’t been psychotic with my spending. I was banned from using my own credit card again so this won’t be a thing.

Annually, we have to liquidate our budgets by the end of March. Then we have a two-month expense freeze to plan for. Out of nowhere, they gave us a four-week notice to liquidate our budgets by Feb 28th and then go on that expense freeze early. We didn’t have the capacity to do so through their methods so I streamlined it with my own cards. They just rejected two things that we wanted leaving us with that money left to spend. Also gave us loans two weeks too late. We have no leadership, they fired them. Sorry, they went on “leave.” We don’t have any direction here. They rejected our plan over that expense freeze but offered no recourse. We’ll figure out how to get guidance, I’m sure.

These strange times are menacing. I spoke with one of the women who is “on leave” and she told me that she would tell me everything as soon as she can. She did confirm that she is on suspension until the 17th. That is when the Executive Director returns from her leave as well. In my mind, that is when we all find out that they are not coming back. It was a controlled demolition of the old management and we will be under new leadership. The woman filling in as Program Director works for the provincial government and has been a menace. I haven’t met her so I don’t know. Everyone else seems to hate her but I think it is just that they hate the changes they are making. The changes are nothing more than just tightening up best practices and standards. I don’t feel threatened by that. Again, I haven’t met her.

Head office takes care of the big business side. We on the frontline take care of the philanthropy side. There is no buffer in between right now. It feels like us vs them as we don’t feel like we are on the same side. We feel dehumanized like we are just numbers to them and not people. Like we are supposed to be acting like a quadratic formula producing the numbers they want but keep producing human errors that we must be lambasted for. Our own humanity is not a factor. Feelings aren’t facts, however.

I have been the voice of reason. Keeping everyone in the office calm as they are all on their toes. Chicken little vibes. A lot of what we think is happening we can’t support with evidence. It is not representative of reality so we mustn’t let ourselves experience it as such. We can only control what we can control. I’m just trying to have faith that we are all on the same side. Though we are not out of the woods yet, this too shall pass. My instincts are still telling me that there is an internal investigation because of obvious conflicts of interest. I may never get that confirmed.

I haven’t been to the gym in a week now. My allergies are kicking my ass a bit. Snow mold season is my allergy season. Maybe it is the incense I bought with my gift cards last weekend? I don’t want to push it just yet. Yesterday was the worst of it. Today I feel a lot better. Tomorrow I should be good enough to try the gym. It’s just headaches, wooziness, and a sore throat. It’s clearing up just in time. I am going to visit my sister and her kids this weekend. This time, I am not bringing the Meta Quests from work. It is getting hard to get her kids to play with me. They’re getting older, I’ll just have to adapt. I can take them out like I do with my kids at work. They’re the same age. It will be a blast.

Anyway, it is TGIF for everyone but my team. We have our positive parenting course today. Then we are aiming to do inventory but we are in Fuck The Man mode. Tomorrow we take some of our boys ice fishing. Should be a good day. Might take tomorrow off if my allergies are kicking my ass still.