Entry 69: Snicker As You May in Much Ado About Nothing

When I say I was the most innocent dirty kid in High School, it is a difficult thing to express. I found the tittering at the word “boobies” to be asinine and trite. But I also had no idea why people laughed at the number 69. Nor would anyone tell me, and I was encouraged to ask my very sweet Elementary Music Teacher Mother what it meant. She… was significantly unhappy that I asked and believed that I was being obtuse intentionally. The problem with being considered “gifted and intelligent” while also developing a sense of humor from In Living Color and Saturday Night Live. I could do an impeccable Men on Film or Chris Kattan’s Mango or Antonio de Banderas, I could school anyone in “Gay Chicken” (which did not help matters of people thinking I was deeply closeted) and I could already hold a conversation (either humorously or sincerely) about BDSM. But I hadn’t had sex and was (far too) open about wanting to wait for the right person, almost assuredly waiting for the person I would marry. SO.... in several ways, I’ve always been kind of a dichotomy. As this is Entry 69, I wanted to start with that discussion.

Last night, I stuck pretty closely to my plan for after work. The one thing I didn’t do was “THE BIG PROJECT” because I’m still in constant personal battle with myself on things like that. So instead (and with great thanks to a friend from here) I put my list of BIG PROJECTS next to my basement computer and wrote goblin.tools on it. And I will go through some of those bigger things, apply goblin.tools resources, and… if I’m feeling really ambitious- maybe even make an Excel Spreadsheet! lol. But that’s for another day. Primarily, what I accomplished last night was further deep cleaning of the kitchen. Which is important as the cleaners arrive on Friday. And I can rather confirm that they have their “We are here for X amount of time” as opposed to “X amount of work.” But- they tend to get the bathrooms cleaned and the kitchen cleaned and areas vacuumed. Considering I thought I would do some of that in between cleaning sessions and so far have not… I’m certainly in no position to complain about receiving the work I pay for.

At work, this morning was… as to be expected for a Tuesday. Prepare the Bulk Hearings for this afternoon. But of course, there is scuttlebutt of a giant snow storm tomorrow (61 degrees on Monday, giant snow storm w/50 mph winds on Wednesday… and Climate Change is still a hoax?!).... and scuttlebutt of snowstorms means I received 13 e-mails begging for alternative solutions to Wednesday’s hearings… and of those 13 e-mails 5 of them came from the same dude. So, my hope and my thinking here is to keep plugging away at work today and get as far as I can as possible. With fingers crossed massively tightly that I leave NOTHING in the “To Be Completed” Pile. That said, I still have 4 trials set for Thursday and 5 trials on Monday and 5 trials on the following Thursday so… if each of those trials has even so much as body camera to review, preparing those cases will be a minimum of 5 hours of prep time. SO… the work is never done. Or even close to being done.

I do hope to track down an attorney over lunch as I want her opinion on somethings. Then tonight, I have to do Pancakes for dinner. It is supposed to be raining, so likely no dog park w/Nala. Poor sweetheart. There were two BIG thunder booms last night, and even in the dark I could see her head shoot straight up and her body tense. So I just squeezed her a little bit tighter to me and pet her until she put her head down and returned to a more restful posturing. My After Work At Home Activities besides pancakes are going to be
(1) Further Kitchen: Unload Dishwasher, Handwash Remaining Dishes
(2) Get house to CLEANERS level
(3) Address Big Project List, sort as needed
(4) Attempt to Set Tax Appointment
(5) Grab a Notebook to track Lent Items
(6) Prepare two additional Oat meals
(7) Update March Calendar to reflect the additional strategy meetings for local Democrats
(8) Film Daily TikTok, something short about how disappointed Jim Henson and Fred Rogers would be about the state of things.
Oh… and I have a firm date for Shakespeare auditions now (March 29) and it is the Head of the Theater directing it… so I have to practice my monologue. I’ve decided to do one from Midsummer. My two favorite comedies are Midsummer Night’s Dream and Much Ado About Nothing. When I first tried out for this theater doing a video audition (that I should paste to this space, though I find it embarrassing- and apparently only have the preamble, not the audition itself!), I was auditioning for Midsummer and did the wedding monologue (not by memory) from Much Ado. So… doing a monologue from Midsummer, especially as the character I was cast as… feels rather appropriate. I just have to.... thoroughly apply myself to the task between now and then.

Oh my gosh!! That was May 2021… that was all of 4 years ago! And… just.... worlds different in… everything. At that point? I had only been “returned to theater” for the ONE show in 2019. So, none of the abundant acting opportunities I’ve had since. At that point? I was just reaching the last few bits of staying in any way connected with Victoria and Essen, having been deeply upset by the bullshit throughout April. What a strange time. At the end of something life impacting. About to start something life impacting. Truly, it can be said… this audition resulting in me being cast in the show has altered the course of my life. I’m going to say for the better, though I’m sure there are those who could argue the point. I’m kind of warmly and numbly contemplating everything that has taken place since then.
Okoboji Conference completely solo. Being cast and working the Midsummer Night’s Dream Show. The Black Hills Adventure Trip. All the Jury Trials. The Rocky Horror show. The first Speed Theater performance. The Clue performances. Securing a new job. Titus Andronicus and buying a house while backstage. Nancy not only moving away but leaving the State forever. My first show at the Oster Regent, a full play with just two other actors! Merry Wives of Windsor and the beginning of dating Hermia. Solo Okoboji with a new office! Thanksgiving & Christmas w/my blind girlfriend and her troubled son. The Book Club Play (and subsequent massive battle with Hermia and being told it was my best work ever). Julius Caesar. Getting into both Girl Sherlock Holmes and Beauty and the Beast. The non-stop, horribly offensive, deeply upsetting fallout of choosing Beauty and the Beast. Breaking up with Hermia in what she still calls “out of the blue and shatteringly heartbreaking”… but at least she’s stopped trying to change my mind by telling me what she and her son lost… which, I again point out, is incredibly telling and quite literally supporting the reasons I left. THERE.... there has been an awful lot of life lived in those years. I probably look a lot older (and a lot thicker). Pretty much my entire adult acting career (so far) has happened since that Audition… and that was the audition that made it happen.

As a “how it ended”.... I got home. Nala freaked because of the rain. I ordered my dinner (it’s Mardi Gras, I typically make pancakes every year but this year, I felt just ordering it would be fine. Traditions are traditions; but modifications in times of war.
I went to TikTok and did my “Who do you serve? Who inspires you?” video. And then my HSB158 video got a single dude repeatedly saying, “How can you be FOR kids at drag shows?!” So I ripped off a quick impromptu 10 minute video and explained how laws work, how law writing works, how the Surely Exception is a great fake concept, and how writing a vague law isn’t the way to curb rights. The dude that was baiting seemed to change his mind. I might be naive but if I can even get a little public “oH, okay. Thank you! That makes sense!” that helps a little in this world of insanity. Then I got my dinner. Watched some fictional politics to make myself feel better (West Wing, Newsroom, Spin City). And played with the dog who was still not happy that it was raining. We’ll see how she feels if it snows as much as they suggest tomorrow.

SO, I wasn’t terribly as productive as I had hoped to be but.... honestly? It’s Mardi Gras. The whole point of the evening is that “Last Indulgence” before a season of fasting. I don’t exactly buy into that but… considering the fact that even mildly leftist political commentators are openly wondering if Trump is a direct asset for Putin because he has actively STOPPED all resistance to Russia in ALL ways (cyber, military, intelligence, economic, ALL) and, for good measure, absolutely fucking imploded the US Economy within a matter of hours. SO.... yeah. Some very legitimate concerns that the Commander in Chief is a literal Russian Asset and… frankly, we were openly wondering that in his LAST term!! But apparently being a literal enemy of the country wasn’t enough to keep American Morons from voting for him and wasn’t enough to inspire the American Majority to vote AT ALL. But fuck me because I’m in a state that has literally said, “IF TRUMP CAN’T MAKE PROJECT 2025 A REALITY, WE WILL!” So… I’m taking the night to rest.