Untitled in Second 1st

There were helpful comments and there were not so helpful comments.... all in all I’m still angry. Jake has been trying to help..... but with his own issues it’s not so much of a help.

This morning I woke nauseated and seriously didn’t want to move.... but I did and I got up and put diner together (cider stew in the crockpot) before getting ready to work. It was a rough go … it took 2 breaks to put it all together .... I skipped my other meds.... what’s the point I”m gonna be miserable anyway.

Luckily, it was a slow morning.... ultimately it didn’t matter.... I worked for a bit and had $21 then Jake wanted to meet for breakfast and offered to pay me for the rest of my day. The much needed medication came into the pharmacy and was ready before they were “open”. I was in line when they did.... and took it in my car. I’m just hopeful it doesn’t get worse.... it shouldn’t.... but tomorrow is another day....

Today, I came home and laid down. Destiny’s first visitation time is today..... one hour 4 times a week.

I’m still unsure what I’m even going to say.... but I WILL absolutely be there Thursday and every day I can till she’s back home.

Jake is on the way to see her now. She will not be alone at the only time she can see anyone..... 1 hr 4 times a week..... and I won’t have her being alone.... on top of abandoned and mistrusted.... I would go today but I’m worse off than I was last night so..... let’s just not. Jake’s going and promised to give her a hug for me and let her know I’d be there Thursday and every time after unless she says otherwise.

She’s allowed to be angry at me… I expect she will be a bit....but I feel like we definitely need to get this sorted while she’s there and we both have time to think about it while she’s in there. If she can even understand what had made me so mad? The sooner the better.... But… I’m in no condition to be out when I don’t need to be.

Time to chill.