Tuesday January 21st in Since OD is shutting down....

We’re in another 4 day weekend from school. Thank God she goes back tomorrow. I had my Mom come and watch her yesterday and today. It’s super stressful having to wait for my Mom to show up and by the time she does, I’ve already missed 2 hours of work. Then today, my daughter was blowing me up saying the TV didn’t work. We have 3 of them and I kept telling her to find one that did work and she writes back, “I could but I don’t want to” um okay well I’m busy working and I’m not there so you’ll have to find ways to entertain yourself until I get back. I was so fucking rattled that I finally called my Mom who said the TV’s are working fine. Even when I’m not around her, she’s still stressing me the fuck out!

We went with my Mom and she got some keys made and we did lunch. She had to hurry home to take my little brother to the hobby store because he’s not adult enough to drive himself. I think it’s because he wants my Mom to pay for whatever he gets there. Him and the other one have weaponized their incompetence to the point that I could fucking puke. My Dad is still not talking and now doesn’t talk to my little brother either. A normal person would just fucking leave but he has no money and nowhere to go so he’s just going to make everyone miserable.

I’m really looking forward to getting my daughter to school in the morning and then going to work. It’s just so fucking miserable when there isn’t school. I get anxiety when I get a message saying there’s no school and I want to throw up. Jesus Christ, these kids were out for 17 days over Christmas not even a month ago and then there’s a 4 day weekend! I just can’t believe how much school they miss!

My ole man has inventory so he won’t be home til later tonight. I hate the late nights. I already struggle to have time with him and then he has to do this once a month. I remember when we first met and I would literally drive by and make sure he was there. I was so foolish then. Totally untrusting.

We had a date night on Saturday and it was really fun. I can tell he definitely worries about my Dad being around and he told me, “you belong to me” and how my daughter does too. It’s like yeah, we’re family now. I can’t believe we’ve been together almost 10 months already. This is the first time I’ve had an actual boyfriend and it’s really a great feeling. I feel very safe and comfortable with him.

I got an email to schedule an interview at the same place BD works at. I applied the other day for a different position than what they want me to do and I just don’t know how well it work out if we were both at the same place. We can’t even co-parent a child, I don’t see us getting along enough to be employed at the same place. I’m definitely gonna do some serious thinking before accepting an interview.