Waiting for Meds to Do Their Job in Still Listening to Spirit
- Nov. 7, 2014, 6:36 a.m.
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- Public
Yep, I talked to Lynne again on the phone yesterday and I just need to keep taking the new anti-depressants and give it another week, or two, or a month.
The muscle relaxers for the back spasm....well, they didn’t work. Not at all. Plus, I was taking it at night and Lynne says this is what is making me dizzy and have a ‘head rush’ all morning long.
I stand up and move a bit, head feels like it is being squeezed like when the blood pressure cuff gets real tight before they release the air. I have to sit down or fall down. I tried a couple of times to just keep moving and on my feet and it only got worse.
Plus when that happens, my right arm feels like it goes numb and tingles. So, I have not taken any more of them.
As to my muscle spasms…VERY painful, “Interesting” said Lynne when she poked me the other day… Last night I made up my mind that I wasn’t having any. NONE, I had had enough. (I did this with migraines years ago and haven’t had one in probably 25 years).
Each time I felt pain creeping up o me, I would concentrate very hard to make it go away. I denied its existence, I kept telling myself that I was doing this to me and I could get rid of it.
The pains usually start around 9pm and sometimes it is 4am before I can get to sleep. So I was encouraged when I passed the midnight hour with no pain. I was able to call this a victory and sleep.
I KNEW, absolutely, that this was something I was doing to myself. Why? Who cares. I identified the culprit and made myself not have the pain.
This takes a lot of energy, and t’s hard. I imagine meditation is something like what I did, centering myself in place and paying attention to only one thing for hours.
That’s it for now. I am still waiting for something to prod me into taking up some kind of project so my hands can be busy and my depression lift further and away.
Blessed be!
MageB ⋅ November 07, 2014
Do you have to do the new project at home?
Hillbilly Princess ⋅ November 08, 2014
Everything Good Rebecca ⋅ November 10, 2014
Intense mental work there. I hope you feel better today!
Everything Good Rebecca ⋅ November 10, 2014
I've noticed myself stepping back when in pain, back far enough to notice the sensation and where it actually hurts. I've talked myself into realizing the feeling of pain isn't actually anything at all other than a a sensation I'm experiencing that I've decided is negative and that is only "painful" because I decided I don't like it and have given it the Pain label. Somehow looking more objectively at the experience has made it dissipate more than once. Telling yourself you are causing it can be helpful apparently, but I shy away from using less than positive phrasing as much as possible, not wanting the auto-immune problems that go along with self-incrimination. Just wanted to say that, which may not be useful to you at all, in which case I trust you'll ignore!
seedys Everything Good Rebecca ⋅ November 10, 2014
yes, I prefer positive thoughts over negative, but I sometimes have to resort to stronger measures. Thank you for the reminder.
noko ⋅ November 10, 2014
Rooting for those meds to kick in. Your body is pretty much screaming at you to pay attention to it and I am glad you are. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I am cheering you on from down here. Having recently dealt effectively with back spasms without drugs recently down here I believe you are on the right track.You want to move very slowly getting up. Think slow like a turtle slow.
seedys noko ⋅ November 10, 2014
Yes, I am paying attention, too much perhaps. Turtle slow? Got it. Watched something about sloths this weekend on PBS and sometimes I feel like I am moving in sloth time. I picture you doing yoga with pom-poms (cheerleader) in hands! Thank you.