Are we clear? in Journal

Seeing all of hubs family over on the other side the court room wasn’t just impactful, it was concrete clarity; “we reject you and your interests. We have zero respect for what you think is best for your children. We don’t care if your FIL harms your children’s best interest. You’re evil for standing up to your FIL.”
Now, FIL always puts on the facade that he is a religious man. And, he went up on the witness stand after swearing to God to tell the truth, and told the world and the judge, me, his son, and his family, that I’m just evil. I’m just evil and mean and that’s the only reason I could possibly have any inclination that FIL should not be around my kids.
And I had the thought - if FIL is here, sworn before God, is he really giving his true and honest testimony to God? In other words, does FIL really believe, in his deepest mind and in his heart, that I am evil? Would he stand before God without any other reason than to accurately and honesty relate to the Holy Father what he genuinely believes the reality of my soul to be? And would he say that I am evil? That I am eternally damned to hell?
Well, of course the objective answer is that FIL has no knowledge whatsoever of my soul. There isn’t even a possibility that he has any knowledge of my soul. And yet, he is completely willing, able, and in fact did swear before God and testify on the record that he did. And that he indeed would condemn me to eternal hellfire. Because he called me evil. He didn’tjust say that I was mean, or vile, or even just unreasonable and possibly not very respectful. No. He literally said I’m evil. To God. To the Judge. To his son, my husband. To my husband’s whole family.

And you know what’s completely ironic, almost hilarious? Is that FIL went up there and his really big issue that he had, his crown complaint so to speak, was that I slandered him. “She slandered me!” As if this were so offensive and pearl-clutching a statement I made that I would disgust a sailor. Or make a construction worker blush. It was beyond thinkable, what she said about me! At least, this was the theatrics he convincingly acted out.
The judge leaned back. He was serious. “What did she say?” He asked FIL intently.
“She- well she called me a child abuser. And unvirtuous.” And FIL, quickly realizing his collosal mistake and even wholesale redefinition of the meaning of slander, quickly went on “and I’ve never abused children - I’ve got nieces and nephews and my siblings will testify -“
And, the judge cut him off. Of course he did. After a big theatric display of idiocy and trying to get the whole court to swallow that big one, the judge was done with FIL.
Even in court, I tried really hard not to have any reaction. But I’m pretty sure I snorted when FIL said I slandered him. I mean. For Christ sake, look up the definition of the word, man. That’s just embarrassing. You can’t slander someone to their face with no witnesses. That’s just confrontation, lmfao. Big man can’t take me answering a basic question to his face. “What’s the problem?” Don’t like the answer? Call me evil! Get your whole family to hate me! Tell the judge I slandered you with as much hurt and deep woundedness as you muster! But don’t for the life of you just say, wow, if that’s your impression I am so sorry and I will absolutely provide you with any proof or evidence you need to convince you otherwise.

I think about this stark contrast between our conduct and… Honestly I don’t know how FIL or anyone on that side can live with themselves.