Day 14 - All Over the Place in These Foolish Things

Okay, hi! I haven’t felt like writing in the last couple of days, and now that I let myself fall back to sleep this morning and it’s thrown my morning routine off, I feel like writing. Nothing is making sense this morning. I’m all over the place. I’m gonna have to separate my thoughts into bullets.

• Maybe it was the full moon last night? Did you see it? It was one of the most spectacular moons I’ve seen in a long time. At least from my vantage point. It lit up the whole night sky and actually had me stopping in the middle of the road after I’d picked up Martini from daycare to snap some pics! Anyway. The full moon was glorious and I posted what I saw on my socials. Pretty special.

• As you might know, the company I work for is based in Los Angeles (Beverly Hills, to be exact), and Head Cat is in the midst of the fires. For a while, I was feeling really nervous about the state of the business - even though all of the employees work remotely, we still have physical products that are warehoused and distributed out of L.A. But so far so good - the warehouse is intact, and Head Cat is packed and ready to evacuate at any second - and yet, he’s also out doing amazing work for a lot of the shelters (human and animal). We hopped on a Zoom call yesterday and decided to pull together a donation drive campaign that goes live today. I don’t normally do those kinds of things and yet, we (the rest of the team and I) were able to pull some things together and should be able to have it rolling today!

• And that’s the thing - I’m hearing about people on socials saying that everyone is Los Angeles is getting what they deserve - but don’t they realize that when those people are affected, it affects SO MANY more people? All of us. The butterfly effect is real and even more so when we are talking about catastrophes that affect thousands and thousands of humans and animals and creatures. It’s going to cost us all a lot more than money. And who cares if it’s rich people, middle-income people, whatever! It’s so aggravating and upsetting.

• And also this morning, don’t mind me - just over here paying all of my medical bills (some of which had gone to collections! Oops. I kinda let it get that way simply in principle - my credit score is still 850, I checked) with my measly bonus check I just received. Mind you, I’m happy I got any kind of bonus from this company. But, it would have been nice to be able to use that bonus for a small vacation of some kind. I could have gone on a nice road trip.

• Speaking of trips, I really do need to figure out where I want to take a vacation this year.

• Our little group of girls is still trying to figure a trip out, too. But I told you months ago that it seems like we are fragmenting, right? Like, there’s all these little separate group texts going around because someone is mad at someone else, and on and on it goes. I don’t know what’s happening! But yes, Anni and I are back on speaking terms because she’s coming to [my city] in April.

• If you recall, Anni is the one in the group who gets wasted and fall-down sloppy and gets mad at me when I put up boundaries. Like, “fuck you!” mad. Anni and I got on the phone (finally!) to talk about her upcoming trip. It’s part work project, and I told her that I’m excited about getting to see her at least part of the time. And the conversation quickly moved to Wen and this other girl, Jill who aren’t speaking because apparently WEN does the same thing to Jill that Anni does with me! And don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen Wen when she’s wasted - it’s not pretty, and it’s nearly as bad as Anni, but her drunk anger has never been aimed at me. But the conversation was all about Wen and her issues and not about Anni’s and mine. It didn’t seem like the right timing for various reasons. I feel like she brought it up in that manner because she knows she has those same tendencies. And yes, I’m a wuss for not being direct and saying something like, “That’s exactly the issue that I have with YOU!” but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind at the time. We’ll get there. Before she comes.

• Bottom line is, this group of women needs to QUIT getting fall-down drunk! We can’t drink like we did in our college days, that’s for sure. We are all in our 50s, for fucks sake. I know we like to pretend we’re still in college when we get together because that’s where we met and that’s how we know each other, but damn! Girls! We need to outgrow that shit!

• I have a lot to say about mom and dad and their situation, too. They seem to be doing fine, but they continue their slow declines. Man…it’s weird, isn’t it? Like, they both hang in there, but they are hanging onto a thin thread. Mom is oblivious, but Dad is breaking my heart. I’m just glad they are in a decent space right now. I need to see them at least once a month now. Better start planning my next drive there. My bro and SIL are barely help, but I’m so glad my SIL comes to them and makes dinners and such. Even though they live in chaos, they are helpful. Perhaps Mom and Dad are the glue right now. It’s gonna be a wild year.

Gotta go. Work calls.

xox,
GS