New Year Resolution, Christmas, and a Motorcycle? in 2025

I need to write in here more, and I don’t just mean that from an if-I-have-a-journal-I-should-make-use-of-it mentality. I’ve been storing up and dwelling on lots of thoughts of resentment. My dad was around my current age when I was a young-ish child, and he was sort of renowned for being cantankerous. Let’s see, he was 36 years older than myself, so when he was 42, I was 6. That means his 40 - 49 decade was my 4 - 13 decade. I think I now understand why he was difficult at this time.

The 40s seem to be a decade where you become particularly cognizant of your mortality. Sand is accumulating in the bottom of the hourglass, and certain thoughts start to fester in your mind. For me, at least, it’s the regrets of things I never did and the grief from the realization of certain things I’ll never do. It can result in a lot of toxic thoughts. Hopefully, if I write more, I can get that negativity out of me. At my annual physical last April, all of my vitals were good except my blood pressure. I thought maybe it was just a one-time thing, but I donated blood a couple of weeks ago, and I almost wasn’t allowed to do so because of my blood pressure. Again, all my other stats were great. I need a mental and emotional catharsis; hopefully writing consistently will serve that purpose. My resolution for the year is to type at least one entry once a month. I also must acknowledge that one of the things that keeps me from writing is to keep certain things about myself secret, but I need to be more honest about who I am, so I also resolve to be more raw in my writings. This is all anonymous, right?

My Christmas was quiet and pleasant. I didn’t go anywhere or do anything. My sister extended an offer to visit her shortly before the holidays, but I declined. I didn’t want Patches to be alone after losing Calico in August. I spent 2+ weeks hanging out with her, and she certainly enjoyed the company. She likes to cuddle on the bed and on the floor of my home office. Some friends in my life group at church invited me to their Christmas gatherings, but I also declined. I would have felt like I was intruding on their family time, so I opted out.

There was also the problem of what happens next Christmas. If I accept the invitation this year, then they may feel pressured to do so next year. Not inviting me would be sort of conspicuous, like it gives the message that including me the previous year was kind of a burden. The last thing I want is to be anyone’s obligation.

Christmas day was a day of solitude, mostly at home. I made my slow cooker Nashville hot chicken, steamed veggies, and an almond sheet cake. I took my mountain bike to a set of local trails I had been meaning to try out. The food was delicious; the trails were horrendous. I don’t think I’ll go back to that park. The bike trails were almost maze like, and all the leaves on the ground made tracking the trail nigh impossible. There were also so many short climbs and descents. The problem was if I didn’t build enough momentum on the descent, I wouldn’t be able to make it to the top of the subsequent climb without walking, which happened regularly. I spent most of the time walking my bike in the woods with no idea as to where I was. When I finally got out of the woods, I was not in the park anymore, but on the shared driveway of a couple of rural homes. Rather than try my luck again in the forest of befuddlement, I rode my bike along the street back to the park entrance where my car was located. I then went home and spent the rest of the evening gaming on my PC and watching a free Christmas romance movie on YouTube.

I also bought a few gifts for myself, not all of which have yet arrived:

1. A Sea Sucker bike rack. It’s a pretty ingenious invention. It’s not so much a rack as a pair of straps mounted on suction cups. The idea is you place each of the suction cups on the rear window of my hatchback. I then use a self-contained pump within the base of each cup to adhere them to my rear window. I can then secure my bike to the back of my car by fastening my handlebars within the ratchet straps on the bases of the suction cups. The device is portable, easy to attach and remove, and much easier to mount my bike to it.

2. An electric grill. Specifically, the Ninja Foodi Smart XL 6-in-1 Indoor Grill with 4 qt Air Fryer. I found a deal on Amazon for like 50% off, and I couldn’t resist. I haven’t had a tasty homecooked hamburger or steak in so long. The primary reason I go out to eat is when I want to enjoy a hamburger and fries. Hopefully, this grill will alleviate some of my dining out budget. Not that I go out very often. My monthly budget for eating out is $80, and I’m seldom, if ever, overbudget. Still, being able to enjoy a more cost-effective cheeseburger with air-fried (read: lower fat) fries sounds sublime.

3. A vegetable chopper/slicer. It’ll facilitate making those fries. Also, I always make a vegetable dish each weekend to pair with whatever entre I enjoy for dinner during the week, unless I make a soup or pasta dish. That said, my defaults are either steamed broccoli or steamed green beans. Being able to grill vegetables for dinner will make getting a balanced diet that much more enjoyable.

4. A bidet. It’s pretty self-explanatory. It’ll arrive this weekend. I’m far more excited to try it out than is rational. It feels like I’m entering into high society.

5. A video game known as Days Gone. The premise of it is you explore an open world map in the Pacific Northwest on a motorcycle while fighting zombies and villainous biker gangs. It has very positive reviews, and it was on sale on Steam for about $12 over the break. I’m sort of wary of open world games. I’ve only played 4 to completion: Batman: Arkham City, Batman: Arkham Knight, Hogwarts Legacy, and Watch Dogs.

I’ve come to the conclusion that for me to enjoy an open world game, I must enjoy the traversal mechanic. Those 2 Arkham games allowed for the player to glide around the city and drive the Batmobile in Arkham Knight. Hogwarts Legacy allowed for the player to fly on brooms or Hippogriffs. Not to mention, these three games also had a cinematic quality that tied into my affection for those particular fandoms. Heck, I played through each of them twice, the Arkham games to experience game plus and Hogwarts Legacy this past break to experience the game as a Hufflepuff (I played as a Gryffindor the first time last Christmas). The only reason I played Watchdogs was because it was free gift when I bought my first graphics card. It was alright, but I most enjoyed riding, and racing, the motorcycles. That motorcycling mechanic is what led me to give Days Gone a try. The game is fine, but I don’t think I’ll finish it. There’s a liminal quality of exploring all the abandoned, zombie infested towns, which I liked, but the motorcycling aspect isn’t quite as entertaining as in Watch Dogs, and it certainly isn’t as exhilarating as the real thing, which brings me to my next topic.

I’m thinking about buying a motorcycle. I’ve been toying with the idea for at least a year. It doesn’t help that a married couple in my church life group rides motorcycles as a hobby, and they’ve only fanned those flames. The previous summer, I decided to sign up for a local MSF course just to try it out. I bought some motorcycle boots and riding gloves, which were required for the course. Spent Saturday and Sunday during the second week in August learning the ins and outs of motorcycle operation and practicing riding drills with a group under the tutelage of a pair of instructors.

There was probably about ten of us in the course, ranging from all walks of life: students, young professionals, and middle-aged accountants (myself). I took the class on a Suzuki TU250X and practiced starting, stopping, weaving, merging, navigating obstacles, and so forth. I didn’t go faster than 25 miles per hour the entire time, but I felt like I was flying. I didn’t drop my bike once, and I passed the skills test with only one infraction that I knew of. When doing a U-turn, I was not able to complete the turn within the maximum allowed radius (because I was looking where I was going and not where I wanted to go). Unfortunately, one member of our class dropped his bike during the riding test, which was an instant “F,” but the rest of us passed. I then made a 96% on the written exam.

The very next week, I wasted very little time taking my passing grades to the local DMV to get a new license with my motorcycle endorsement. I was ready to go find a bike on Facebook Marketplace, but then Calico died, and I was too depressed to do anything but grieve. A couple of weeks later, the hurricane came decimated parts of Tennessee and North Carolina, so I felt rather selfish and indulgent buying a toy for myself when so many had lost everything they owned. I decided to give most of my motorcycle savings to the relief effort. I kept about $1k for myself, so that I wasn’t starting again from scratch.

I have since refilled that coffer. After I make my contributions to my Roth IRA and my HSA for the year, I’ll have just enough to buy a like new bike off Facebook Marketplace. I think I’m going to do it, probably in the next couple of months. I’m going to be that cool teacher who rides a motorcycle, just like Mr. Turner on Boy Meets World.