Happy New Year in 2025

I’m so glad that 2024 is now gone, but I’m afraid to get too hopeful for 2025. I’d like to think that this year I will reclaim my nose, get a CPAP and get used to it, regain my energy, and finally get ahead financially without things constantly coming up to set us back. The problem is that I’ve had enough life experience to know that life rarely goes as planned. It’s also common sense and goes without saying that the less money you have, the harder it is.

I would just settle for sleeping normally and having enough energy to function! I mean really, literally function. No one my age should have to struggle just to clean their house and do simple, everyday things.

Time goes so fast when you get older, but at the same time, it’s creeping by slowly—at least for me. When you’re retired and don’t have many possibilities for your future, time seems to drag on. Especially when you have health and sleep issues. Time definitely slows down when you don’t feel well, whether physically or emotionally.

If I’m completely honest with myself, I don’t hold out much hope for significant change in the year to come—or possibly for the rest of my life. Time is moving both fast and slow. While it’s crawling, it also feels like just yesterday when COVID hit, and that’s already been half a decade ago.

That black pickup that was parked on us is in Ray’s driveway again, and Ray is beside it but not up against our driveway. I saw him exit his vehicle with a woman. I don’t know if the guy driving the black pickup is staying with him as well or just parking there. I’m guessing he’s staying with a friend of Ray’s who also lives here.

I don’t normally make New Year’s resolutions, but this year I’m determined not to reach out to those who don’t reach out to me. I totally respect people’s decision not to reach out if that’s what they choose, but I don’t want to hear from anyone anymore only because I reached out to them first. If they don’t care enough or desire enough to take the initiative, then they won’t hear from me again. I’m putting the ball in their court and leaving it up to them. It just doesn’t feel right anymore for me to always be the one to reach out, even if people respond. The older I get, the pickier I become when it comes to dealing with people—both online and offline.

I was watching a movie earlier, and there was an older woman in it who was gorgeous despite her age. She had those nice, deep, dark eyes I like and was attractive overall. I couldn’t help but think how much I’d be crushing on her if I still had those fun hormones that have long since faded.

Enjoy your youth if you’re young because it’s all going to hell eventually! Once you’re over 50, everything changes. Well, it slowly starts before that, but I’d say the late 40s is when things really start heading south—and I don’t just mean the boobies. Not that I didn’t have my share of problems in my 20s and 30s, but I definitely miss some aspects of those years. Now, I can’t see, I’m fat, it takes forever to pee, my libido is a joke, my skin is tissue-thin, and even my hair isn’t what it used to be. And I’m stuck on a medication for life that can make my life hell if I’m not careful.

Speaking of fat, I’m not heavy enough for weight-loss drugs. You have to be truly obese for that. Even if I qualified, I’m not sure I’d have the guts to try it. I’m not going to lose any more weight on my own unless I drastically cut calories to compensate for my sluggish metabolism. Yes, I’d like to be healthier, but I also don’t want to spend every other minute of my life starving. I think I’ll just be grateful for the 10 pounds I lost by cutting out sugar and call it good enough.

I still eat some of the wrong foods at times, but hey, we all crave variety now and then. Normally, I prefer healthy stuff over junk, but eating the same few things every day gets old. I can’t branch out too much, though, because I have to watch things like cholesterol, sodium, and even foods that affect thyroid health or nasal polyps. It looks like one of the reasons my nose is acting up again isn’t just because of the alcohol I had (I finished it and won’t be getting more for a while), but also the Vienna sausages I got. I wanted a snack for when I needed more than just a quick bite but didn’t want a whole meal. But processed meats, along with things like sugar, dairy, and some other foods, are on the no-no list for polyps because they cause swelling and inflammation. For my latest Walmart order, I tried to pick a good variety of healthy and anti-inflammatory foods.