Lori's Daughter in 2020s

Oh, do I have an interesting story to share today!

Some of you don’t know me well, while others may have been following along. So, for a bit of background: I have four first cousins. Two of them, Lori and Lisa, are close to me in age—Lori’s a year older than me, and Lisa is a year younger. Decades ago, they decided they didn’t want anything to do with me, though I was never told why. To this day, all I can do is guess and speculate.

Maybe it’s because, in my younger, more mischievous days, I was connected to someone who made a few prank phone calls to their mom. It was nothing personal—just silly, immature stuff I did in my twenties. Or maybe it’s because I didn’t like their father, who could be very mean. Or it might be the lingering impression I’ve had that their father resented me because my mother, his sister, gave me several items when our grandparents passed away and he had a problem with that. If that was true, all they had to do was ask for anything they wanted, and I would’ve happily given it to them. I never asked for anything I was given by my mother. I simply accepted it because I thought it was the right and polite thing to do.

The surprising twist in all this? Lori’s daughter recently requested to add me on 23andMe. Now, I only go by my initials there, but I’m still surprised she didn’t know who I was as I thought her mother would be quick to bash me to her a long time ago.

When I accepted her request, I shared my side of things and explained that I see holding onto grudges all these years as pretty pointless. I don’t harbor any resentment toward Lori or Lisa; I’m just indifferent now.

I also told her about my bio. It’s been very therapeutic for me to write, I told her, and if it can help other survivors of abuse in any way, even better. I gave her the link if she wanted to learn more about the family and left it up to her—she can read it, or she doesn’t have to. The choice is entirely hers although I’m expecting to get blocked on 23 and me and for her not to have any interest in the bio. Like it or not, people do tend to hold grudges and be unforgiving and if they see their parents like that, they will usually follow in their footsteps.

So, yeah, definitely an interesting day so far!

Later…

My cousin’s daughter has the Wicked Witch of the East listed as being born in New Hampshire. I didn’t know that. I just assumed she was born in Springfield.

Although I didn’t have breathing issues, I only slept for five hours, which doesn’t make it easier to get to my appointment. I gotta try my best to get there because I have questions for her. I also scheduled my dental appointment for December.

We don’t think we’ll be able to move next year, but we’re aiming for some time in 2026. The tentative plan is to find out if it would be cheaper to get either a gas car or a better electric car here or in New Mexico, which is where we’re likely going to end up. If it’s cheaper here, we’ll drive out there. If it’s cheaper there, we’ll fly out and buy one there. Since there aren’t any major ports where we’re headed, we’ll probably have to pack our stuff in a pod, have it shipped to El Paso, and fly in there. Once we’re set up, we’ll drive a U-Haul to Texas to retrieve our belongings.

We’re planning to go off the grid. Now that options are available that weren’t around when we moved to Maricopa, it’ll take a while for people and their damn dogs to reach us once the area builds up. We’re looking at getting two tiny homes, each around 500 square feet. One would be for living, and the other would serve as a laundry room and storage. The main house will be of better quality and possibly even furnished. You can bet I’m taking my beloved waterbed! Same goes for my skier—my favorite way to stay active. A good 90% of the dolls, knick-knacks, and various collectibles won’t be making the move. The second house will be very basic, with only water pipes and a sink installed, which will be all we need for a washer and dryer. We’ll definitely talk to a realtor, a contractor, and whoever else we may need. We’ll also need to bring in solar panels and dig a well.

The few things I have mixed feelings about are that the place will be small, colder in the winter, and I’ll be back among the nightmares I experienced in Arizona. I saw it all there—tarantulas, black widows, scorpions, snakes, etc. I’m not usually scared of snakes, but we have to be cautious depending on the season. I only saw one Gila monster in Arizona, but they’re bad news too. Javelinas can also be trouble. I’m more concerned with being creeped out by giant but harmless spiders than by any actual dangers.

I still can’t figure out what those giant spiders were in Phoenix that didn’t seem to be in Maricopa. Not that Maricopa didn’t have its share of horror-movie spiders. I thought they might be Avondales, but AI says those aren’t in Arizona. I don’t think they were tarantulas, even though they were just as big, because they didn’t seem furry. Tarantulas tend to move slowly, too. My research suggests they might have been hobos, wolf spiders, or some less harmful kind of brown recluse. Whatever they were, they were nightmare material. They were HUGE. We’re talking a good six inches in diameter, at least.

Given how things have turned out here, I’m now glad we didn’t get that house I wanted in Port St. Lucie. That would have been a bit hard to give up. It was bigger and had an amazing view. Now, I just want a place where I feel safe which I really love, somewhere we can stay until we’re too old and have to move into an apartment or assisted living.