Sick as shit. in Since OD is shutting down....

So yesterday after my class, I came home and laid in bed until this morning so I spent a total of 23 hours in my bed. My stomach bug was worse than I thought. I threw up a few times and last night, I ended up having some blood mixed in with it. After I had my last throwing up session, I finally started to feel a tad better minus the horrible headache due from being dehydrated. I texted work and let them know and they were cool about it. I just can’t believe how sick I was. I’m feeling better today but I still have a horrible headache and my back/ribs hurt, probably from throwing up.

I’ve decided I’m probably going to turn down my promotion. It’s more pay but less hours and I have to pay for gas, groceries, and car payment out of my tips every week and that would be next to impossible when I’m only trying to work 4 nights a week and I’d only make tips 2 nights out of that. It’s bullshit that they would have me close as a shift leader on 2 of the busiest nights I’m scheduled and I know that if I took that position, I’d be screwing myself by making it harder for me to pay all the shit I have to pay out of my tips as one paycheck a month goes right to my rent.

I’m just not going to let myself end up like this other chick I work with that was on housing and got her raise and then ended up having to work all the fucking time because she needed money and because we were super busy so she ended up making too much and losing her housing and now that we aren’t as busy, she doesn’t get as many hours and lives in a place where she pays a ridiculous amount of rent! I refuse to find myself in that predicament, plus having to work ALL THE FUCKING TIME to make up for all the money I’d be missing out on by not making tips.

I have a class in about a half hour and then I’m gonna get something to eat from somewhere. I’m finally starting to feel hungry which is a good sign that I’m gonna be alright. I can’t believe I spent almost an entire day in my bed being so miserable! I never want to get that sick again! I’m still feeling icky and if I had my way about it, I wouldn’t even bother trying to work but because I’ve already missed yesterday, it’s best to not miss work again. I’m probably going to work Sunday to make up for missing yesterday.

It’s just crazy how I wanted this promotion so bad but then to find out I’d only be making $9/hour on the nights I’d be closing, makes me really disgusted that they acted like they offered something really good when they did nothing more than offer a delusion of something good just to suck me in to where I’d have to be there way more than I am now. Hell to the no. I’m good with my schedule the way it is. I’m going to text my boss later and let her know how I feel. I’ll stay where I’m at. I’m not going to let myself get sucked into that place more than I am now because of my car payments. Call me stubborn but I wanna know that once I get my car paid off, I can either stay there as a manager or find something else.

My body just fucking hurts. My whole upper torso just aches like a mofo. It’s going to be a long fucking day. I’m hoping I can keep some food down so I can take some ibuprofen and it will hopefully help with my body aches. It’s going to be a shitty night at work if my body keeps hurting like this.

I haven’t heard from my family in the past few days. I went to see my niece on Sunday and that was just a disaster so I came home and hung out by myself. I’m going to become a real bitch with my brother because I’m really sick of his selfishness and how he just doesn’t seem to have a lot of respect for anyone. I’m also tired of how he doesn’t think I should ever eat or sleep and I’m just some kind of fucking robot. He treats his girlfriend the same way. Both of us were pretty sick of his shit on Sunday. I just had to get away from him or I was going to go off on him.

I just want to get my class over with so I can get something to eat and then probably take a nap. I’m still feeling pretty lethargic. I’m just glad the nausea has gone away because that was intolerable. I laid in my bed just wanting to die.

Anyways, gonna go to class.