it won't kill me but.......it'll suck. *extremely vague* *ED* in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

ya know. I don’t think I want to try today. I really don’t. I tried for 3 days [though I don’t feel I did]. i’m irritable. i’m short w/ people. i’m frustrated as hell. and uncomfortable. and i’m going to be. and I feel like trying today would make that worse. i’m not entirely ok w/ the fact that I don’t want to try today. but 70% of me is. yeah but the thing is. this could become a pattern. [well yeah if I let it be]. it’s like ok I don’t want to try today. and then tomorrow rolls around and it’s like yeah I don’t want to try. then thurs........and fri..........and so on.
i’m pretty sure this won’t kill me. um well. 70%. but..........it’s what killed karen carpenter. which I knew prior to this but I didn’t understand it as i’d not experienced it until now. it’s like. it’s like back when i’d heavily drink all the time. you think it’s bad when i’m drunk just wait until i’m sober for like. a month.
I don’t wwant advice, or anything. I just want to be heard.