To Everything There Is a Season in Grandma and me

When you lay dying, I told you that everything would be okay
because I read on google that was the thing to say
I told you we all loved one another and would all care for one another
I didn’t know at the time that it was a lie
turns out we only care about our 4 and no more

My grandma died in 2022. I knew I would be devastated by her loss, but I didn’t know how much I was losing.

Goodbye to a spring full of baby kittens and sitting on the porch stoop playing with kittens. The cats and kittens have had to move across the road to the barn and either get used to being fed once a day or move to the farm next door.

Goodbye to my room and my bed. Now it belongs to a little stranger who Grandma never got the chance to meet, and my bed sits in a dusty attic. Goodbye to weekends at the farm feeling loved and accepted and that I was part of a family that cared about one another.

Goodbye to Thanksgiving and our tradition of me helping her get the turkey ready and getting up at 4 am in put it in the oven and going back to bed to wake up to the smell of turkey in the air. Now the only place I feel at home is my actual home which is a lonely place where the phone never rings, and I don’t dare have anyone over because I have too many cats.