How to process in Random Thoughts

Last night my little one hit her head, not very hard at all.... and seemed to have a seizure. We rose in an ambulance to a local children’s er. They say it could be a concussion.... she seemed to be back to her own spicey perky self within an hour. They observed and let us go. Out of the house at 7:45 pm and back home at midnight.

They didn’t even diagnose her with a concussion because she did not have the symptoms. I took her to preschool today and let them know to watch for anything unusual. I am a wreck and took today off just to process. I feel guilty about not keeping her home, but i know i couldn’t handle the stress of having her home with me for the day.

I’m not sure what to do to process. I keep seeing her little naked body on the floor with one leg bent up and stamping and the opposite arm twitching, her little head facing to the left, trying to talk to me, trying to tell me she wanted huggies and to snuggle.

I feel guilty because when it started i thought she was trying to be silly and annoying me with asking the same thing over and over “where” (she was supposed to be cleaning up a mess on the bathroom floor).

It scares me because with my past regarding death and loss, I am not sure I could survive her death, or deal with difficult medical problems on my own. I def would not be able to work and take care of things.

I will.... i don’t know…reach out to someone.