depression evan in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

ssso I’ve been reading over the entries from thissss ssssummer. and. idk. although I care about evan I don’t care as much about him as I used to and I think that’s bc my depression’s worsened but it also. hasn’t. last wk. I actually when i’d started feeling better from being sick felt like socialising w/ the people in the house whereas prior to last wk. I hadn’t. so that’s how it hasn’t worsened. but it has in that I feel like i’m not that great and I don’t deserve anything though I genuinely believe other people don’t believe that about me.
he’s actually not that nice of a guy, really. I mean he’s not like mean or anything he’s just somewhat off putting. he’s not all lovely like I am. [who everyone apparently adores]. like he’s really sweet just. well, as put. or at least as of late that’s how he’s been.
I still feel the way I did back in aug. that ‘no maybe it’s that I wish him the best but I also don’t want to let him go’ just, not as much cause, once again depression. i’m not as hypervigilant about losing him bc, again. depressssion.