Day 11 - Are you afraid of being your true self around others? Why? in NoJoMo 2024

Always have been. Never had a clique, always felt like the wrong fit and stood out because my hobbies never matched what normies were doing.

I’m glad I chose the path I chose and did not let social pressure dictate what I should think, eat and what music is ‘acceptable’.

The downside is decades of doing this grows your personal space massively and you always hate crowds, loud conversations and generally being social for more than an hour.
My social battery is tiny, I can deal with 2 hours of “socializing” a month max. Anything beyond that exhausts me.

And that always me look either aloof or too cool to be with the people, arrogant even.
Extroverts with zero self-awareness or spatial awareness are the worst people, they don’t understand and they force them selves on to you and force you to partake in things you don’t want to.

This massive personal space is like a well-built fort and it takes a lot of effort to get comfortable around people for a long time.
You crave that lonesome solitude where you’re free.
Every time people ask me what do I with my time alone and I answer “any fucking thing I want” and they still don’t understand the concept because they’ve left social order dictate how they should live and behave. Anything outside of the societal norms is extremely bizarre for them.

I pity people who refuse to experiment and live life doing different things because “everyone else is not doing it”.