Bio - 45 in My Bio

Jumping back to mid-2010, in July, my “relationship” with Marie ended. She often became delusional and accusatory when paranoid, and it just got old. She was also very immature in many ways, and I could no longer handle her obsessiveness, the pressure she put on me, and the harsh accusations she’d throw at me when her paranoia flared. If I didn’t respond to the dozens of emails she sent each day within minutes, she would accuse me of plotting against her. Unable to deal with her overbearing nature — and mostly not wanting to — I slowly distanced myself and moved on, leaving her with my best wishes.

I met Marion, who prefers to go by her middle name, Nane, on a language learning site. A German native fluent in English, she has a passion for languages and is studying Greek and Turkish. She’s a beautiful, single, bisexual financial advisor living in Munich.

Feeling guilty for blaming Maliheh for Andy’s pranks, I visited her Facebook page and was surprised to see I hadn’t been blocked. I apologized for accusing her of harassing me on Formspring and explained that I now knew it was an old friend playing with me. They just had terrible timing! I further explained that my recent contact was why I thought she might have been the culprit. I also apologized for a rude comment about her and said I hoped we could move on.

While I didn’t expect to become friends with Maliheh, I longed for that connection. To my surprise, I noticed she was visiting my blog and reading my journal with increasing frequency. I started to open up about my feelings for her, admitting I had handled things poorly in the past but also expressing the hurt I’d felt. Finally, I told her I intended to post the story and asked her to let me know if she had any concerns.

When I began posting the story with us as lead characters a chapter at a time in July, she started checking my blog several times daily. The story was another reality-inspired fiction, like the one I wrote with Stacey.

Over about six months, I left scattered Facebook messages for her, letting her know I was thinking of her, hoping she liked the story, and that I’d love to hear from her. Since she was regularly checking my blog, I suspected she might not hate me after all, but I didn’t expect to hear from her until the story was finished.

But on October 25th, just over five months after my first contact, I did hear from her.

Her first message on my blog explained that she hadn’t contacted me sooner because she’d been advised against it. Then she demanded that while I could keep the story, she wanted her name removed so I changed it as a courtesy to her.

After these comments, I didn’t expect further contact. Yet on November 5th, she messaged me again on Facebook, and to my surprise, we began exchanging emails almost daily. Unlike the exasperation I felt with messages from Marie, I was genuinely excited to hear from Maliheh.

I learned a lot about her, though it was clear she only saw me as a friend. However, she knew I was still attracted to her and didn’t seem to mind.

What’s strange in a cool way about the whole thing is that I have once again jinx-written life into imitating art. The only difference is that this time it is in a good way. We became close at one point in my story. And here we are close in real life.

To wrap up my thoughts on my online connections, I’m still friends with Alison and also with Kim, whom I met through Aly. But along with Aly and Kim came Molly—a rather unhinged individual who has been relentlessly stalking them and everyone in their circle, including me. Despite repeated requests to leave us alone, Molly continues to force herself into our lives, insisting she’s done nothing wrong and just wants to be friends. When things don’t go her way, she sometimes turns nasty. We block her on every site we can, but unfortunately, some platforms have limited or ineffective blocking features, allowing her to bypass these barriers easily.

I’m still in touch with Mitch but haven’t heard from Dorian since he left the old diary site.

Last August, just a few days before her birthday, my sister reached out on Facebook, expressing hope that, while we can’t change the past, we might one day reconnect as sisters. I don’t share that sentiment, but I’ve agreed to at least keep things civil. Truthfully, I don’t wish to associate with someone capable of the things she’s done to me, nor do I feel any connection to her children. I’m no closer to being their aunt than I am to being anyone’s great-grandmother. So, I’m polite but distant.

I have a cousin and fellow writer who has authored several self-help books and has even appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show. I’ve swapped a few messages with her, her sisters, and her mother.

Back to Nane, my gorgeous German friend. Tom read an article that said English speakers find German relatively easy to learn because of structural similarities. Curious if this was true, I signed up for a German course online. Since Nane is a native speaker, she helped correct some of my exercises. I wouldn’t call German particularly easy, especially with its complex grammar rules, but I did find Nane’s profile picture captivating!

With nothing to lose, I privately told her about my feelings, adding my Facebook link and saying I’d love to connect with her there as both a friend and language partner.

When I didn’t hear back for a few weeks, I thought I’d offended her. But she eventually replied, explaining that she hadn’t been offended—just a little surprised. She’d been on vacation in Turkey, celebrating her 50th birthday with eighteen guests and even a belly dancer, which required a lot of planning and cleaning up afterward.

I was stunned to learn she was fifty. I’d pegged her as being in her late thirties to early forties!

We share a deep passion for both languages and music. Interestingly, she’s also bisexual and admitted to being attracted to me. I have to wonder, though—would the attraction be mutual if I weren’t married or if she weren’t halfway around the world?

Alongside German, I’ve also picked up some Esperanto. It’s incredibly easy, even simpler than Spanish.

After a long 22-month haul of unemployment, Tom was finally given a job where they make video equipment in Grass Valley. He works days at $13 an hour, the same as what he was last making in Oregon. But he’s only a temp and we’re hoping that he’s hired on soon so that we can finally have insurance.

In early September, shortly after Tom started working, we got a new rat I named Tinkerboy after Tinkerbell. He is dark brown and has a soft shiny coat like Tinkerbell had. He is a lot like Tinkerbell, though not quite as smart, and a little more destructive. He’s certainly faster and more playful.

We are not sure at this time if we’re going to remain in this trailer until we get a place of our own or rent a bigger, newer, more comfortable place. My guess is we’ll stay here despite how annoying Jesse can get at times.