Nov 9-15 in 2020s

Saturday, November 9, 2024
I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of where we want to move. The climate here is warm, Oregon was cold, and Citrus Heights fell somewhere in between. The climate in NM is between cold and in-between. It even gets a dusting of snow a few times a year although it doesn’t last long since there’s quite a big swing between the daily lows and highs. However, it would do wonders for my allergies and asthma. Plus, it would mean no year-round spiders and even the snakes would hibernate longer there compared to Arizona. The Chihuahuan Desert is much higher than the Sonoran, with night temperatures already dipping into the 20s for several months. I’ll definitely need a winter coat, which I haven’t needed since we lived in Oregon in 2007. I’ll miss this warmer weather, but not much else.

Becky mentioned that if we’re interested in a particular piece of land, she’ll drive by and make sure it’s not a problematic spot. Apparently, the area has shifting sands, though most of that is over in White Sands.

Other pros and cons include moving into a place that will make this one seem big. But I’m also liking the idea of a minimalist lifestyle and having less space to clean.

Becky also mentioned that gunshots are common during hunting season but not too frequent, which is probably similar to Arizona. The sound might be a bit annoying outside city limits, but we plan to soundproof (monsoon storms can be just as loud as the storms here). Comparing the planes we hear here to the gunshots we heard in Arizona, the occasional gunfire is preferable. I only remember one year in Arizona where it was extreme, with gunshots from sunrise to sunset.

On another note, I ordered a new color-by-number book with a floral theme.

Had a couple of shitty dreams and I wonder if the Claritin could have caused them. This stuff can cause nightmares. My father was alive in one dream, and we were going somewhere at night. I knew in the dream that he was 89 years old, even though he only lived to be 80.

All of a sudden he got this funny look on his face And started mumbling incoherently. I asked if he was okay, and he just gave a slight nod. But then he started drifting into the wrong lane. I shouted at him to move over, and he did. A few minutes later, he started drifting off to the side of the road into trees and shrubs, and again I yelled at him. Fearing he was having a stroke, I was about to tell him to pull over when he floored it all of a sudden and I woke up right as we were about to slam into the back of another vehicle.

As a psychic, I’m a little worried when it comes to dreams like this. But maybe it doesn’t mean anything, since it involves someone that’s not even alive anymore. I sure hope not!

Where it got weird was that after the nightmare woke me up and I got up to pee, I got back in bed and had another dream where my mother was alive and I was telling her about the nightmare. I was hoping we could finally chat for a bit and spend some time together and asked her if she received an email I recently sent her. She gave a vague roundabout answer, which pretty much told me she didn’t want to confirm it because she didn’t want to hear from me. When I tried to tell her about the dream, some other guy entered the room and they started chatting and laughing together so I finally gave up.

Nothing from Michela, but fortunately 23andMe tells you when someone has been on the site. She hasn’t been on since she requested to add me.

Sunday, November 10, 2024
I slept for 9 hours and 15 minutes and my weight is going up again. I definitely need to increase my vitamin D; I just don’t want to do it too soon before the lab. If that dream turns out to be a premonition, I’ll just say it’s my fault for accidentally skipping a couple of doses. But unless my TSH shoots into the 20s, I refuse to jump to 100!

Despite everything, my energy levels haven’t been too bad the last few days.

On a positive note, research shows that the pain I sometimes feel when I sleep on my stomach isn’t my ovary. It’s too close to the surface to be that. It’s likely something digestive.

Mia is only 15 days away from “buying” her new cat, and I thought I’d name it Simone in memory of the real Simone. We were remembering her earlier—she’d be around nine years old now. I hope she’s having a good life wherever she ended up.

Monday, November 11, 2024
I keep debating what I do and don’t want to include in public journals. On one hand, I’m not doing anything wrong if I keep it legal. But on the other, I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable—even if my comments about them are positive or neutral. With Becky, I’ll use my best judgment. She’s familiar with my bio and doesn’t mind being mentioned by her first name.

We’ve talked about her and her husband’s health. She has a whopping five autoimmune diseases! She also had surgery to correct her septum, which I might need as well. I’ll only know if I can ever get in to see an ENT that doesn’t bail on me.

Interestingly, we picked a new healthcare plan that includes an ENT outside of that shitty group that kept canceling on me. But the ENT in network is 88 years old. Yes, 88! Why would you want to work that late in life unless you really love what you do? I can’t imagine they would let him do surgery at that age, but as Tom said, that’s a good thing because then he’ll be more honest as to whether or not he thinks I need surgery to begin with whereas a surgeon would be quicker to say I needed it because that’s how they make money.

I’m still figuring out my sleep apnea treatment plan, but thankfully, I won’t need referrals with this new coverage. And if I do, Rhonda, who I’m sticking with, can take care of that. So long as the provider is in-network and keeps appointments, I should be okay.

I’m dropping my glaucoma doctor, though. Not all of his services are covered, and I don’t see the point in spending money each year with such a low chance of developing glaucoma.

The plan offers virtual urgent care but lacks the ongoing care for chronic diseases that Galileo provided. It sucks but I’d rather not pay $250 a year for Galileo who may or may not be compatible with my insurance, especially until we’re in a better financial position.

As for Becky’s husband, he’s been through hell. He got shingles in his eye, leading to a series of seven strokes. He was on so much medication that it nearly killed him. Coming off the meds, he had seizures and fainting spells and was in constant pain. Becky took a gun out of his mouth one day. I totally understand his pain and desperation, although my reasons are different.

Becky and I were also remembering Lisa from school. As Becky described her, Lisa was almost feral—completely batshit insane to the point where not even the staff could handle her. Becky suspects Lisa may have had multiple issues, possibly a developmental disorder along with ADHD. Lisa told her she was molested as well. She was unique in that she was very pretty. Most of the headcases I’ve seen were either plain, unkempt, or downright ugly. Years later, when the article came out about the school being shut down and the owners imprisoned, Lisa left bizarre comments. Becky reached out, but Lisa never responded.

I almost asked Becky to pass along my email to Marie, but then I reminded myself that people don’t change—not in major ways, anyway. Marie would have to be a totally different person not to fall into the same paranoid, accusatory, and delusional patterns she used to. So I kept repeating to myself, “People don’t change!”

I’ve also been watching a documentary on the Gypsy Rose Blanchard case. Her mother had Munchausen syndrome and kept Gypsy in a wheelchair even though she could walk and both caused and made up various injuries and illnesses. Eventually, Gypsy snapped, tired of being trapped and hurt. She killed her mother and spent ten years in prison. Personally, I don’t think she should’ve done any time. She’s incredibly smart and articulate and has a patient, positive attitude despite everything. At one point, the parole office jerked her around with conflicting instructions, and I could relate. Parole and probation often feel like an extension of jail. A part of me wished she had put her foot down like I wish I had. Why should they be allowed to be a bunch of fucking hypocrites and not stick to agreements while everybody else is expected to do so?

Earlier, I saw a crime clip about a tragic case where two young women—one 17, the other 27—beat a 30-year-old woman to death out of jealousy. Shockingly, the 17-year-old laughed about it during interrogation as if it was one big old fucking joke. It makes you wonder if they’ll ever look back on it and cringe with shame and embarrassment or if they’ll never feel a shred of guilt or remorse. I’m betting on the latter.

Haha, Tom said he thought something was wrong earlier because the garbage truck sounded so loud. Then he remembered he had his new hearing aid in! I can understand why he’d want to hear people better, but why deal with all the loud shit in the world? I wish to hell I was as deaf as he is.

I was up for a long time last night and only managed 4.5 hours of sleep. I did get a few more hours later, though. Interestingly, I’ve been having some rather steamy dreams lately. Too bad those old, dead hormones aren’t cooperating in real life.

I also dreamed we lived in a new place, though I don’t know where. It was very cluttered.

In another dream, Becky was in a two-story house with her kids still at home and she told me she slept downstairs because of her arthritis.

Tuesday, November 12, 2024
Michela was on 23andMe, and I assume she saw my message. Not surprisingly, I haven’t received a reply.

I got the new coloring book and it’s great. I colored for a couple of hours on and off. Creative Haven makes tons of excellent coloring books, some color-by-number and some not. Since I already have hobbies that require some thinking, it’s nice to have a mindless hobby like color-by-number where I don’t have to think much. This book has 46 floral designs to color and comes with a color chart. There are also tiny pictures of what they should look like colored. Sometimes I can’t quite match the colors, but they’re close enough.

In the late afternoon yesterday, the honker pulled up in Colleen’s vehicle with her, and then she left. After that, he went down the street further into the park on his golf cart. I’m not sure if they actually spend the nights together—maybe they’re just damn good friends.

I’m clueless about what’s going on next door. The gray truck is still there, but now there’s a red car parked there as well. I don’t know if Ray is back with a different car or what. At first, I wondered why the truck would be parked in the driveway and not Ray, if it was Ray, but maybe the truck is a bit long to park in front of the lanai. Also, why are they still here if he’s back? I think it could be someone staying with whoever’s been over there or maybe someone just parking there while visiting someone else. As long as they stay quiet, it’s all good.

I forgot to mention that the other day, I had a dream about a fungal infection in my big toenail. It was a pretty bad infection, and eventually, the nail fell off. But instead of a nail bed, my toe was hollow. No bone or anything—just a hollow toe.

Later…

I’m so fucking pissed! Every time we try to save money and make plans, something has to come along and fuck things up. I had hoped that dream I had about my toenail falling off didn’t mean anything, but it sure did. My toenail didn’t fall off, but another crown sure did. Not the one I last lost but one on the bottom instead in the very back. I totally regret getting these things! I should have just had all those fuckers pulled. And of course, the shit always has to hit the fan when I’m on nights. At least it doesn’t hurt.

When he checked the insurance plan, it said it would only be $15 to have it re-cemented. Hard to believe we’d get off that easy, but if nothing else needs to be done, then that’s all it should cost. Since I’m not in any pain, I’m going to wait until I’m staying up later in the morning—probably either Friday, or I’ll just wait until Monday.

I’m almost at the border of Lithuania with 1,600 miles left to go on the entire ride.

The cramps in my lower stomach have been more annoying lately, but I still don’t think it’s anything to worry about—God, I hope not! If I suddenly needed surgery, it could really set us back. I’m not sure it’s connected to any of my lady parts. Tom thinks it could be my hip since hip pain can radiate toward that area. He’s had that problem at times. Just as long as it’s not a twisted or burst cyst. Worst case, of course, would be ovarian cancer, because if it were that, I’d probably be dead soon enough. From what I read, they don’t usually catch it until it’s too far gone. I can’t see it being that, though, since I don’t have other symptoms. That’s a good thing because as long as I’m not crazy tired or suffering from systemic anxiety or depression, I definitely don’t want to die now. It feels great to say that too! I want to live to return to the desert with my husband. I want to have the fun of picking out a place and building it up. I’m not looking forward to the cold, the hunters, or the sonic booms, but it’ll be worth it in the end and so much cheaper. I want to love it and stay there until it’s time to move into an apartment or assisted living or whatever.

My shoulder still hurts too, but I’m almost positive it’s frozen shoulder, so it shouldn’t last forever, though it could still take quite a while.

The red car has joined the truck once again. Still don’t know if it’s Ray, but if it’s not, I wonder if something happened to him.

Looking forward to completing my bio so I can get back to my stories, but I still have a ways to go. Thought I’d finish this month, but maybe not.

Wednesday, November 13, 2024
My dream about my dad getting us into a car wreck, along with the toenail dream, turned out to mean something after all seeing that I lost the crown I mentioned. I went to the dentist’s site last night and, luckily, was able to make an appointment for the 21st. They didn’t have anything sooner. Thankfully, I’m not in any pain because otherwise, I’d be out of options. Aspen Dental does emergency walk-ins, but we’d have to pay full price.

Guess who’s napping in the closet now? Yeah, a cute little rat, LOL.

Finally saw the driver of the red car, which Tom says has Florida plates. The person looked older, and although it was hard to tell in the dark, I don’t think it was Ray. I’m starting to wonder if one of his kids owns the truck and drove down with some of his belongings. Maybe Ray flew down and bought a new car with Florida plates, but the man I saw looked skinnier than I remember Ray to be. I could be wrong, but I’m starting to suspect something may have happened to him. Irma confirmed he has a son and daughter. A man owns the truck, and I swear I saw a woman in the passenger seat once. Maybe Ray is subletting to these people, though it seems odd. The older man getting out of the car seemed a bit too old to be his son, so if that’s not Ray, I wonder if something happened to him. I’d hate for the place to go on the market before we get out of here, especially with there being an excellent chance of the buyer having a motorcycle, and if they have a yappy dog…

Thursday, November 14, 2024
I finally have fewer than 100 pages left to review to bring my bio up to date. I’ve been slacking over the past few years, so I’ll need to write some new content as well.

Tom was outside cleaning the car windows when he noticed the car that’s been parked next door passing by and heading down the street. Around 7:00 PM, they parked on the street, which technically isn’t allowed overnight, but I’m not complaining since they’re further away now. I finally caught enough of them on video to get a clearer picture. They walk slowly, and they’re definitely older and thinner than Ray. Another possibility is that Ray might be delaying his return this year to spend Thanksgiving with family. But if these people are his family, why are they staying at his place? Either way, I’m just glad they’re quiet.

I didn’t sleep too well last night—I kept waking up. The only dream I remember was watching the mystery girl straighten her hair. When I woke up, I had an immediate sense that she doesn’t actually do that in real life. I’d love to ask her how much of what I see and sense is accurate, but of course, I can’t. LOL.

I’ve never had a nail fungus infection this bad. My left thumb is still pretty bad, even with the lacquer treatment. If the prescription lacquer can’t fight it, I might need antibiotics, though I really hope not. Right now, my main health concern is keeping my A1C in check and making sure that dream about increasing my thyroid dose stays just a dream.