Friends, Huh? in meh...

  • Nov. 1, 2014, 10:07 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

Most of my life, I’ve been that friend that breaks their neck to do whatever if I can. My mother likes my friends, but she doesn’t like them because I go all out for them but it’s not reciprocated in the same fashion.

Last weekend, I was basically guilted into going to an annual Halloween party when I was dead tired. I had spent all morning and afternoon with a mixture of bus riding and walking searching for the outfit I needed for my costume to no avail. All day. I got home and had to go back out for groceries to make my son and his coming company dinner.

She was on her way to my house and on the way she was checking places for what I was looking for. I had started cooking and asked her if she would be upset if I didn’t go. She was trying to get me to go buy food for my son and his friend so we could go. I told her I need to cook. She remarked that she would go regardless, so I told her to do that. But she made a little noise about wanting to go with me because that’s what we said. Longer story short, I offered to come on the bus & light rail after I cooked even though I was tired. And I went.

I was tired so I didn’t have the best time, but it was okay.

Fast forward, party down the street from my house on last night. Monday I had a mini meltdown because I thought I tracked down what I needed for my costume. My trip was in vain and it took a lot for me to get to the place I needed to go after work. So I shared my meltdown with her and also texted Him. She felt for me, but didn’t say much. He bought and had the set shipped to me at work. I told her the next day that I apologize for my meltdown and how he saved the day for me. She replied “Look I’m not even feeling it.” I mentioned nothing else and actually have talked to her since.

Another friend, I asked if she and her boyfriend would like to come visit, see the band. I even gave her a plan with her son. Haven’t heard from her. She probably thought it was an after the fact invite and it wasn’t. But it would have been nice if she had said yes or no. But, it is what it is.

So my 2nd adult Halloween was a bust. I got dressed and posted pictures of my son and I. We walked around the neighborhood which was quiet. Very quiet. We saw a couple of kids who marveled at his costume. Then we went home and put in an Adventure Time cartoon dvd and fell asleep on it. I drank my collectable Game of Thrones beer and called it a night.

I said to my son we have to start doing stuff for ourselves to make life fun. It would be better if we had a car then it wouldn’t matter if people come through for us or not. But that’s not how friends are supposed to be.

Oh well…


Always Laughing November 02, 2014

It hurts when friends don't do for you what you would do for them.

Sister Always Laughing ⋅ November 02, 2014

Yes. Yes it does.

Always Laughing Sister ⋅ November 02, 2014

I have it happen all the time

LivingWaterCreek November 02, 2014

Also being a person without a car, access to public transportation and living away from all necessary services I feel your frustration. It is hard enough to find rides, seldom being at a reasonable time for me, so I've learned to roll on demand. But, when the party with a car cancels or doesn't show it plays havoc with me. Some days it becomes overwhelming. Too often I get stuck thinking of all the "just call me if you need anything" friends who inevitably are not able when I ask, especially when there is no offer to take me at a later time. And my mother, she's big on the "I can't be affording to run you everywhere. I have bunko and things to do".

Sister, I feel for you.

Sister LivingWaterCreek ⋅ November 02, 2014

Everything you just said reminded me of something I wrote many moons ago. The call me if you need anything friends and then anything becomes a burden. And that's not to say that these friends in particular have not done things for me before but in all instances, I've gone above and beyond. The one friend broke her foot/ankle/leg and I went to a store and bought her fruit and fixed food for her when I was there. I'm not so far away from everything that it requires a packed lunch to visit. I'm hurt. I'm really hurt.

LivingWaterCreek Sister ⋅ November 02, 2014

Hurt shared is divided. I think I'm understanding that saying, Sister. Look up, that's where our healing is, amen!

You must be logged in to comment. Please sign in or join Prosebox to leave a comment.