Truly Brief w/a Revealing Truth in Book One: The Not So Daily Briefs 2014

Wanted to jot some stuff down before this evening. So… it will be “brief” if by brief I mean… I haven’t pre-planned this entry so it may be quick or may be loooooong.

I am back to regular sleep, it seems, as I was able to remember both of my dreams last night. The first was… interesting; somewhat detailed. Long and the short of it was- I was back in my Gradparents’ house (the one my brother and I would stay at when the parents were out of town) but it wasn’t their house anymore. I was in the place, but it was owned by new owners who had renovated the building to accommodate more bedrooms. Considering the house already had 4 bedrooms; the renovations turned the ranch-style house into a mansion. The big thing that I remember was the feeling of familiarity and discomfort at the same time. Like… when the doorbell rang; I’d rush to answer it like I did when I was a child… but the person on the other side of the door would always look at me cautiously and ask if this was, in fact, the Walker residence. ANYWAY… the other dream was far more brief but far more awesome. I was hanging out with my friend Matt (law school partner); when our friend Tom showed up. Tom is also a law school friend but moved about 3,000 miles away. Behind Tom showed up RJ… a law school friend that moved about 1,000 miles away. It was just a cool dream wherein we were all together again… now 3 of the 4 have hung out in various situations in the real world. Matt, Tom and I or Matt, RJ, and I… but we haven’t had all of us together since July.

When I got to court… the Corrections Staff was overjoyed to see me. Which is odd and alerted me immediately. NOT surprisingly… they aren’t ridiculously fond of one of our new hires… for all the right, but all the wrong, reasons. Do any of you remember me talking about “Life Sized Barbie?” The young woman who looks like Mattel used her as a base model for Lawyer Barbie? She was in court this morning. Now, I come from Iowa where the Iowa State Supreme Court upheld that it was entirely acceptable for an employer to fire an employee on the basis that said employee was “too attractive.” I… have never really been comfortable with that ruling. And now I work in Nebraska, so it doesn’t really apply. But… yeah. Lawyer Barbie in all her Aryan blonde hair blue eyed glory… just by being herself… gets the inmates WAY too worked up. It sucks because… it would be inappropriate to tell a female co-worker to try harder to look worse… but there is a legitimate danger factor for Prison Inmates to be worked up by a beautiful, somewhat naive, law student in her early twenties. It seems like a bit of a conundrum.

That’s all for my actual day. I don’t know what I’ll do for Halloween. This is the first night since Freshman Year of College that I don’t have plans and don’t have a costume; so… maybe I’ll just stay in, play video games, and watch 1989 Batman. A Tim Burton movie marathon seems fitting for Halloween.

But before I skedaddle, I wanted to share something that… well… may be important to readers. Now… when I first started dating my wife; she heard a lot of my stories and a lot of my history… from my perspective. Much as you all are doing now. However, when she met my family… and got other perspectives… she understood more. Now, gauge the source, but she says “Before she met the family, she felt bad for me and downright angry at my parents and brother. After hearing their side of things; no more anger or sympathy.” Because… allow me to share a story that may explain things....

From my perspective: When I was a kid, I would be in pain a lot. First, from my back, then (over time) in my tiny toddler testicles. I would always get out of bed, find my parents, and try to tell them how much pain I was in. They would roll their eyes, tell me to go to bed, and tuck me back in. Fast forward to 1996— when I had to get scrotal surgery for testicular torsion in both nuts. Fast forward to 2004— when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, because the pain was excruciating but no direct cause could be confirmed. (Now… from my perspective, sounds pretty bad. This is the version that got my wife angry at my folks.)

From Their Perspective: When I was a kid, I would constantly demand attention. First, any time I had anything to say I wanted at least one person to give me their full and undivided attention until I was done talking… no exceptions. Then (over time) I would refuse to simply stay in bed and try to go to sleep. There were people still awake and I wanted to be with them… no exceptions. Fast Forward to 1990— when I first started getting dedicatidly ambitious about getting on stage to be an actor. Fast Forward to 1994— when I started getting into politics, singing, public speaking, and anything else that got me in front of a lot of people and got me a lot of attention.

And there it is. From my perspective- I had legitimate issues that needed to be dealt with. From their perspective- I had been such a needy, attention-demanding child that they simply assumed I was still being needy and demanding attention. My wife says this is still a big part of who I am and what happens in my life. That… to me, of course, the issues are legitimate and need to be dealt with. But from a true outsider’s perspective- I am still a needy attention-demanding person. She wasn’t sure whether to equate it to the boy who cried wolf or Munchhausen. But I honestly felt it was important to share that. Not as a “look how horrid my wife is” statement AT ALL… but more of a… if the people that know me tend to think I’m over-reacting or attempting to draw sympathy or whathaveyou… then… it is important you readers know that. That… perhaps, maybe, possibly… from a true outsider’s perspective… my perspective may be overly dramatic or too emotional or strictly to get attention or whatever.