October 1: Bullets Before the VP Debate in These Foolish Things

• It’s Tuesday evening and the debate is coming on in a little over 30 minutes, so I figured I should probably squeeze an entry in. I don’t even know if I’m going to watch the VP debate anyway. But maybe I’ll turn it on so it can run in the background during my nighttime routine.

• My boss (Kitty Cat) is soooooo woo-woo and I love it. At the end of our weekly team meetings, she gives us the astrology for the week. And she ALWAYS tells us to have a stress-free Friday and to go easy. This morning, she asked us if we’d like to receive a daily question to help us think about how to receive. There are five questions per week (I guess one for every workday) We all said yes! So today’s question is: What was I taught about independence and relying on others growing up? I suppose my answer would be that since my brother was the “troublemaker”, that automatically made me the “good kid”. I felt that responsibility from a very, VERY young age. I remember feeling like I was always going to have to take care of myself since my brother was a bit of a fuck-up and needed more attention. I learned to take care of myself. My mother never did my hair or helped me pick out clothes - you know, the things that moms should love to do with their daughters. And my family was NOT affectionate at ALL. I did a ton of self-soothing. I think I still do. I’m glad I no longer self-soothe with alcohol. Wow. That was an eye-opening question!

• The Big Meeting that I’ve been stressing about over the last couple of weeks got moved from last Thursday to last Friday and then on Friday got moved to Monday (yesterday), and it was fairly anticlimactic if not eyeroll-inducing. Essentially, the company cut the staff to bare bones and wants us to operate from a place of authenticity, so it feels like instead of growing into something resembling a legitimate business, they want to be more folksy and mom & pop. It feels weird to me. I’m not sure how I fit as I’m the corporate-y one who’s working with overseas factories and trying desperately to grow the portion of the business that I am responsible for. It doesn’t feel like that’s the direction anymore. It’s weird. BUT the 4-day workweek is back on the table for discussion. This seems to be the opposite of what the rest of the business world wants. Hm.

• Oh! I haven’t told you about the interview that I had on Friday, have I? I will need to get a whole entry in because there will be more! I met with the COO early on Friday (before my team started working) and the company is weird, but I’m still intrigued and curious. I put my big Corporate Girl panties on for this meeting because the COO comes from the C-Suites of a couple of giant corporations that YOU ALL know. I kinda loved it because in a small way it felt like I was role playing and I feel like I impressed the pants off this dude! I used a few of the current corporate buzzwords and I dropped an “s” bomb in at a strategically placed moment. I am meeting with the CEO this coming Friday! Again, more detail is needed here, so I’ll write a whole entry soon, I’m sure. I will title it with a question mark and likely call it something like Fire to Frying Pan.

• The date with Johnny Mathis on Sunday was meh. It was a fun walk together and a really nice coffee and bite to eat afterwards, but it felt super friendly and not boy/girlfriend-y. I asked him TONS of questions, and not in a probing way - it’s just that I seemed to lead the conversation. I don’t think he asked a single question about me. It’s a little bit of a bummer, but I’m not surprised. He’s the sweetest guy, very gentle, fairly quiet. But I don’t feel like he’s that interested. Nor do I feel much spark. I haven’t heard from him in a couple of days.

OK, debate is starting, so I’m gonna go watch until I get sick and turn it off.

xo,
GS