If I Could in meh...

If I could, if I had money, time, a way to share I would.
I watch these videos of experiments with how people are toward one another and it breaks my heart. Sometimes I’m the person being mean (not really being mean, but I just don’t have it to give) sometimes I can actually give and I do.

I’ve seen the homeless huddled up in the front stoops of the churches downtown sleeping on bags. I’ve seen them laying on the heating grate outside of the Opera House/hockey stadium. I say to myself, I’m always a paycheck away from where they are. I feel for them. There are a lot of them.

And only one me.

I wish a lot of things. In regards to homeless people, my son has my tender heart. Back where we use to live was like on the cusp between an affluent neighborhood and a not so affluent one. He was coming home from the library when someone asked him if he could “hold her” (hood speak, could he provide somewhere for her to stay). He tearfully told me that he told her he was just a kid and he would if he could but he couldn’t authorize that and he can’t just show up with someone at home asking such a thing. Last year was a bad winter. It was so, so cold. He gave her a couple of dollars without thinking of it. I’m glad he is who he is.

I see children on tv who want to be adopted. I would if I could. I’m barely making it with the kids that I have, though it’s only me and my son now. I feel for those children.

There’s too much life and not enough time even if you have a schedule. deep sigh