the sadness I hold in 2024

3:17pm
Here I am, day two. :)
I haven’t really done much today, not that I had much on my list to begin with.

11:49am

Ok, so look, I did actually come in here to write the very next day after my last entry, but I got distracted by something and then shit hit the fan and it’s three months later.

The day after that I drove back to my hometown to work at the office and at the same time I started doing some weird wheezing thing. Turns out it was the beginning stages of the worst sinus infection I have ever had in my life. I thought my face was going to explode. It was so bad. I can’t remember ever being that sick. Thanks terribly compromised immune system! [pretty sure I got it from the weekend before when we went to the neighbor’s daughter’s graduation and the people behind me were coughing the whole time. ugh]

To top off the facial explosion, a week later as I was trying to recover, the freaken dog died. Out of nowhere. Found him in the backyard. Honestly, one of the saddest moments of my life in recent history. I still cry about it. I’m getting teared up just thinking about it. I didn’t even think I was that attached to him, but sometimes I break into a full on sob at the thought of him being gone. He was the reason I got out of bed most days. Now…I don’t know. Life sucks without him. I can’t even think about it anymore.

Other than that, I somehow managed to gain 10 lbs in three months. Wonder if stress had to do with it? Probably. Or getting out of bed late every day. Not eating breakfast until early afternoon. Trying to plan a wedding I never thought I’d have. Shrug

So much to update on. Never make enough time to do it. But hey, at least I didn’t lie in my last entry. I did try to come back. As it always does though - life smacked me right in the face.

I’ll try again.

rose.
2:39pm