Baffled in 2020s

I’m completely baffled by these strange feelings I’ve been having. For the second day in a row, I weighed 157 lbs, and it feels like 156 is just around the corner for the first time since 2018. I’m trying to be excited about it, but a little green pill is dampening that excitement. The thing is, aside from the weight loss, I’ve been experiencing terrible cold spells, which is a classic symptom of hypothyroidism. I’m feeling cold and hungry, and losing weight could also be a sign of diabetes. So, I’m really worried about my upcoming lab results and the possibility of being pushed into diabetes no matter what lifestyle changes I make.

Tom thinks cutting out sugar is responsible for the weight loss, but I’m not sure. It certainly can’t hurt, but I’m still taking in more calories than I burn. I know that losing weight and being hungry often go hand in hand, but the real question is why I’m losing weight. Even though it’s only a few pounds, it seems strange, even with cutting out sugar.

For now, I’m trying to follow Tom’s advice and enjoy these months before labs. It’s tough, though, because I worry about my TSH levels being off and having to decide whether it’s bad enough to increase my dose, and if so, by how much and how fast. I can’t just jump up my dose suddenly, or all that anxiety I battled for years is going to come rushing back. Then there’s the added worry of possibly needing diabetes medication. I won’t even get started on my cholesterol. And who knows, maybe my WBC or RBC will throw in some bad numbers for good measure.

I’ve looked into what else could be making me feel cold and lose weight, but nothing I found makes much sense. Eating helps warm me up a little, and drinking does even more, but I’m not about to pop open a bottle of wine every time I get cold. I swear, we older women are always either too cold or too hot!

I also looked up sleep apnea exercises, and one of them is a tongue push-up, which is also recommended for TMJ. Looks like I shouldn’t have quit singing, too. As a trained singer, I can personally say that you don’t form vowels the same way when singing as when speaking. The mouth is more open for vowels like “O,” or it won’t sound right—especially if the vowel is held for more than a beat.

I haven’t felt like I’ve had as much alone time as I usually do when I’m working nights. I got up at midnight, and hopefully, he’ll sleep until his usual 5 or 6 a.m. It’s 3 a.m. now, and he’s still asleep. I’m not sure if I’m in the mood to work on my story, so maybe I’ll work on my bio.