27st in Hey, buddy, got a light?

It’s almost here. Those folks with S.A.D. get hit the hardest I guess.
Shits just straight up dispair, dawg. Back in the day, it was just tea spoons of what was to come. I’d be walking home on some dreary/blustery/some other adjective fall day, and I’d be thinking, this sucks, I hate geometry, I’m not going to be an architecht or-..fuck you, I don’t care if it’s spelled wrong. I’m not going to be ..a numbers person when I get my first job. It sucked, but atleast I was safe.
I had safety and structure. I only have one of those now and even then, my grasp of it is unhealthy and backwards. I mean fuck, you ain’t 30 and still living at home unless you’ve made some fucked up choices in life.
Anyway, what was I going on about? Oh yeah, fall, an shit. I did’nt hate high school, man. I hated the experience and about 90% of my peers, but it gave me somewhere to be for a few hours out of my day. Thats it.
I remember back when I worked at Wally World, it was in the days between christmas and new years eve. The store was bustling from opening until about 8:30 or so, in between then and closing time it was just casual shoppers and stragglers. I saw my old geometry teacher and we exchanged a look that lasted just long enough to imply we both recognized one another. We did’nt say hi how’re you, though, or anything like that. He smirked slightly and asked about some seasonal items, I answered his question and he went on with his shopping, and I went back to zoning catfood cans and sighing that the only ones that gave half a flying shit about me were the fish I fed.
I know, I know, I’m supposed to be going on about fall, but fuck that. I mean shit, I feel like killing myself pretty often, I think I can go on about whatever I damn well please, huh? Thats another thing-, WHEN, MAN?
As I was saying..I liked the safety and structure that school provided me with. Worrying about some overdue assignment or bad grades or a shitty social life on the walk home..that was it right there, in that time, it seemed like I died everyday. Oh that short little manlet fuck who thinks he’s the class clown, yeah he told that girl you liked her. Oh that girl you have a crush on? Her boyfriends gonna come up to you at lunch and to your surprise, quite politely ask you don’t talk to her, ever again. Oh you suck in this class, teach is gonna make an example out of you because thats what bitter single women do.
Shit, it was’nt my fault nobody wanted to lay her albino ass, geez..
Fall.
Back then it was nothing, hell I usually got over whatever stupid ass problems I had relatively quick, but now, it’s like it’s always fall, man.
Welp’…this was a bad idea, dunno why I felt compelled to write this shit.
Hope you’re all alive, and shit.