Break Something in And The Rest.

So full of holes, so empty,
Just destroy me, let me break
So tired of seeking peace and of
being more than I can take
So tired of being shattered and
so tired of my mistakes
The air too thick and heavy and
the future too opaque
Just long to tear myself to shreds
of bleeding scars, I ache
to slide away from everything
To sleep, and never wake.

If you ever hated anyone enough to want to punch them in the face, perhaps you should understand. It’s just a natural human instinct to want to lash out at those you hate. I hate myself, everything about her, I just want to hurt her, hurt her right down to the bones, and not be around to pick up the pieces when someone finds out what I’ve done.

Just too ugly in every way imaginable; inside, outside, I make myself so angry. Like ripping canvas, I just want to tear all that ugliness to bloody ribbons, destroy it all with frenzied claws, I want to hurt the way I deserve to.

My hands are restless, and this house is full of sharpness. I need to be careful, I need to be careful because there is a limit to how much I can hide with long sleeves and good lies; still it is there like a whisper, always, that it wouldn’t have to matter, I wouldn’t have to answer any questions if I did it right this time.

Life is a corset that doesn’t fit, laced too tight and cracking my ribs.