fuck fuck fuck in Bittersweet
- Aug. 30, 2024, 5:51 p.m.
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- Public
A bit ago B told me he lost his job. And we were like ok. How can we help. I got him some handy man stuff at my office which has been getting him some money. I asked how close he was to his rent amount ( it was the first week of aug) he said he almost had Julys total. FUCK.
So i had him helping with random things at my office. Staining the handicapped ramps, building a new garden bed and mulching it. Weeding and cleaning up. Various random things. We knew this wasnt enough to do much but it would help get his July rent covered and hopefully August.
Well he did pay July. But August? No.
He told me today he was served with notice to Quit Sept 12nd, Which means he got it some time ago!
Its like dude, we have less then 2 weeks to come up with 1600 dollars and you have had NO job prospects. The market here is SO bad. I dont have 1600 dollars to give him to keep him in his apartment. We talked a lot and had to do the hard part. He has to come home again.
He started crying and said he dosent know how to do this without killing himself. I started to cry too. I KNEW he was feeling really bad. My anxiety has been through the roof and ive been feeling depressed. I knew he was bad. I was SO worried he was at this stage and he is. I kept saying its not a set back. Dad and I went back to my parents several times. Twice after he and his brother were born. It happens. Its not easy. He said he cant live in our house because its so noisy. But there is NO WHERE for him to go. And im sitting here and its quiet AF in here. One is biking, one is waiting for the football game. Co is probably sleeping. A is on her VR in her room. I can hear her get excited but its quiet!
yes there are a lot of us, But dude, He has no where. I said you come home, and we work on getting you a job ( and pouring his zoloft down his throat) Then he can save some money and we go TWO routes. One we buy a little camper or something he can sleep in in the back yard. He will have some space of his own and its warm enough most of the winter for it. Two we get him a car. THEN we worry about another apartment. He said his two friends were moving out of the place they live in maybe in a few months to the city. To be closer to Amazon where they work ( where he worked) but dude they wont let you move in if you dont have a job!
I mean its just common sense. you have to have a job in order to stay with friends. If you dont have a job, you cant pay your part of rent and then you cant live there. Its not going to work! I know that he really wants to move out and be on his own. He is 20. of course he wants to do that. Btu the reality is that its not going to work if he dosent actually WORK!
Its really scary. I mean this is my son, and hes talking about killing himself because hes so stressed out. He lives in this motel that couldent make it as a motel. So they made it into apartments of a sorts. so hes spending 800 a month on a hotel room. I know that its not ideal and its not great. But its his and his alone. I just dont know what to do at this point. I dont know if i should take off some time from work and spend it with him. Or if i need to help him fill applications. It hurts when he has all these big issues and he isnt coming to us for help! Things like no food, loosing his place. Like what are we supposed to do if we dont KNOW!
He dosent want to come home and that is a big deal. I mean there is no where else to go. My parents live with my sister, her husband and their kids anad my grandpa. My brother back in Ak just got married this month and they have a kid. No one is going to let him go up there. HIs friends up there are a no go. And he does have a girlfriend. She lives in Cali. They have met up a few times and she just bought him a phone ( which i have some serious reservations about, but it IS a California number so that tracks…) Just I dont know what to do. I have a little bit of money, maybe a couple hundred dollars but that wont solve the problem. In Sept he will still need money and he wont have a job which he can save for. Or if he does have a job. The rent will be due before the money comes in. So im a bit on the fuck side… Im just REALLY worried about him.
Sleepy-Eyed John ⋅ August 30, 2024
:(
Jinn ⋅ August 31, 2024
Gently steer him into the mind space where he has to understand and agree that he needs to face reality. If a person doesn’t have a job or money ; they can not afford an apartment or even a room in Colorado :-( . Going back home is a luxury that many do not have and he needs to know that. I left home at 17 and going back was not an option ,,so I was often scrambling like crazy to pay bills ( but there were lots of jobs available in those days if a person was willing to work.) The jobs I could get just did not pay well until I finished nurses training . That is another thing; what is his education or skill set? He needs to have some sort of skills to market and to be taught how to budget. Coming home gives him time to work on those things.
Threatening to kill himself is a cry for help and probably a little bit of drama, frustration and anger. . It will be good to have him home to keep an eye on him and make sure he is taking his medicine. Is there a way to give him his own space ? Possibly his own room or divide a room somehow ? Maybe a room divider or temporary wall ? Maybe eventually that camper idea. If you do the camper; have him work to earn money to help buy it. Even if he is living at home he should be paying something to contribute if he is working. You can always save whatever he gives you towards his future living space . He could actually turn a camper into a tiny house. There are all kinds of videos about how to do that on You Tube. Owning something is always better than renting. It would be good for him to experience that too. Responsible parents have to help their children face what daily life requires ( so they don’t end up on the street ). You support them emotionally ( and financially as needed ) while they learn to navigate learning to be independent. . We have been through this with both of our sons. It’s a process. Good luck !!
Deleted user ⋅ September 01, 2024
I’m always curious about how people manage without any savings After paying for bills and essentials it seems like there should be a bit of room for savings I know rent is usually non-negotiable and utilities like lights gas and water are essential though they might be adjustable if needed Then there are basics like food and toiletries—things like toilet paper soap deodorant feminine hygiene products and basic groceries With grocery prices being so high I understand it’s tough but I wonder how some people end up with absolutely no savings at all
ChainedChrysalis Deleted user ⋅ September 01, 2024
You would think. But that isnt reality for most Americans.
Deleted user ChainedChrysalis ⋅ September 02, 2024
I don't understand how it happens though I certainly fall into the lower income tax bracket but I save my change pennies in a jar if I have to
ChainedChrysalis Deleted user ⋅ September 02, 2024
But think about when you make 200 dollars more then your rent a month. You have 200 dollars to buy enough food to stay healthy, pay all your bills, your phone, electric, internet, not to mention if you have debt you are trying to stay on top of. The economy is designed to fail right now.
We are firmly middle class, between those things, and raising my kiddos, supporting my mother in law who has a TBI, working myself one point five jobs and my husband working two plus his side gig. We barely have money. We have a lot of setbacks. Our water heater went out, our oven died, our washer died, our dishwasher died. We had a bad leak. Issues with our regular heater. And its only September. Birthday gifts for 5, Halloween costumes, Christmas gifts, school supplies, clothes.
We get no support or assistance. We do it on our own and we manage. Just barely But there is never savings. Not when emergencies come up. Every class has activity fees in highschool. Driving kids to their own job twice a day because they dont have cars. Gas 4 dollars a gallon. Car payments because we both work, me 30 minutes away, him 1.5 hours away. Finding new work is not an option. You loose your job here, and good luck finding another. The unemployment rate is through the roof here. And I live in a lower income town....
It just is what it is. We dont eat out, go to movies but on a birthday if that is what they ask for. We skip every fair or cool event in town. We only go to free things and only when we have energy for it. We do the best we can.
Deleted user ChainedChrysalis ⋅ September 02, 2024
I really appreciate you explaining it my situation is def different people never want to break down how it can happen so I never get it but I guess things just pile up little by little. Someone making $200 more than their rent should qualify for food assistance ( depending on the state).
ChainedChrysalis Deleted user ⋅ September 02, 2024
Oh I TOTALLY agree. unfortunately for a single young male. They dont give assistance. Im going to get him on health insurance once hes home. I was sending him with bags of food every time I could but hes 20 and is prideful in some ways. He wants to make it on his own. And I get that. But also, you cannot starve.
Small Town Girl ⋅ September 03, 2024
Oh no! He feels like such a failure, which we actually all do!! But how do you tell him he's not. Everyone is hurting in this same way! Nobody wants afford anything. Just tell him the many examples of ppl you know who are going through this too. It's not him. It's the economy. The cost of living. He is not the problem. He is trying and that is more than a lot of people are doing. Tell him to be proud and walk tall and he will get through this and back on his feet. Everyone goes through it. But, I also get it. The suicidal thoughts become so important because you feel you'll be free of the stress and debt. Poor kid! I'm so sorry!
ChainedChrysalis Small Town Girl ⋅ September 03, 2024
Ive been working on it with him. I think we may get somewhere. He actually took a class to get a certification today so thats something.