Changes, Or So in Elephant Architecture

I have been living on so little for the last year, and a half. With school, I haven’t had any me, or much social time, or have been able to participate in hobbies I find rewarding. I have been doing the responsible thing, and saving anything I made extra apart from what I was paying for with school. I should have a hefty chunk of cash coming my way, and I went through a phase where I thought I would get myself some things I had been missing out on. I need some suits, ties, and vests. I am not sure where the old ones went to, but I’d really like to add to my wardrobe. I would like a new computer. This laptop was bought refurbished, has served its duty, and is on its last leg. I would like a nice desktop, and a new laptop. A nice new TV. I don’t watch much, but I would like to watch the select few things I like on something more than a second hand small tv screen. I’ve been meaning to catch-up on all the new Planet Earths. My friends, and I used to smoke up, and watch the first Planet Earth. I occasionally find a show to binge watch like Sherlock on the BBC, or the HBO Watchman series. Shakespeare plays. I’m a Shakespeare nerd. But, I began to realize that doom scrolling videos was becoming “TV” or the reason I quit watching television in the first place. I think it’s causing me trouble with concentration. I am having trouble getting into a good book like I used to, or I lose interest in it quickly. I have about 5 books that I have read 3/4s of the way through, and am having trouble finishing. I think I’ll buy a nice bubbler, or a bong, get super baked, and watch Planet Earth for hours. Pot always used to help me do, and complete one task without losing interest. That goes for working out too. I work out at 45 minutes to 1 and 1/2 hours at the hot studio, but I remember, I could bench press for hours when I used to get baked in my early 20s. Or, enjoy an evening jog without anything I was to do the next day in my mind at all. Clean clarity.

Or, should I just save it all like I have been doing. Either Way, I need to budget in fun, and “me” money. I have been living like a pauper for almost 2 years, and it’s masochistic in a way. Jobs where your work environments are unfulling make you (or me) save everything like a you are marooned on a ship in the middle of the ocean. You stay in panic for survival mode.

Last updated August 19, 2024