Parenting flails in Bittersweet

  • Aug. 6, 2024, 11:34 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

Its not a fail. But is a flail. My son is trying to adult on his own and it is SO hard.
He lost his job and hes been struggling But of course he dosent TELL us any of that. He finally mentioned it and started crying. Its hard to see your 20 year old breaking down about it and knowing he wont let you help him! Ive been stress worrying him for weeks. Feeling like shit is off but he wouldent say it was. He came, borrowed his grandmas car here and there then left.
So I asked him to come over for birthday dinner. I told him we were having steak and i was surprised he said ok. Normally he puts me off a bit. But he said yes so I picked him up on my way home. We had tbones, potatoes and corn. He “casually” mentioned all he has eaten in the last week is plain noodles with nothing on them. It HURTS that your kid wont ASK for help. He dosent have enough money to pay rent, it was due on the first. I dont have money for him.
I packed him 3 bags of food, milk, eggs oil, butter, cream of wheat, brown sugar, mac and cheese, rice, I had some dairy free yogurt. He cant really eat dairy raw, so cooked is fine. I found potatoes, apples, bananas, a few other things I dont really keep much for canned goods but I found a can of soup and some canned beans. I tend to store condiments that you get from fast food joins. So i managed to dig up BBQ sauce, ketchup, mustard, mayo. Found some hotdogs, cheese, sausage. I raided as much as i could find that I thought he would eat.
It makes me cry like literally cry. I told him we have never let him go hungry in his life, why would we now....
I figure as shitty as it is, I can buy a pizza and send it to him. At least its something. My kid has never eaten much. And even tonight, he ate half an ear of corn and a small baked potato and maybe a cup of steak. Its not a ton of food for a 6 ft tall 20 yo.
It just stresses me out. I figure from now on, ill plate a extra Tupperware for him and I can drop it off. And be better about asking him to come to dinner. He can refuse, but at least I can bring it. He lives not that far off from my commute home.

I wish I had the money to pay his rent. I was able to dig out up food. I dont have spare cash. I wish I could find a better way to help him. I wish he wasnt so depressed.
My boss has some work for him to do so hes going to come over and do that work. Its SOME cash. Its not his entire rent. How the hell can you help your young adults figure out the way.... I know my house is cramped but I wish he would come home. I could help him here.


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