Tired, day off, not so grumpy. in Since OD is shutting down....

I was in a horrible mood last night at work and was about to fucking break down. I was just getting so pissed at the customers, my co-workers and just wanted to come home and go to bed. I was just fucking exhausted and I know that’s been part of my problem for the past few days. Ryan spending the night during the week was not a good idea and I don’t plan for him to come over on the nights when I have to get up early, especially when I don’t get a fucking nap.

My mood improved last night when I started doing manager things like inventory and counting drawers. My boss stood nearby watching me and I think I did okay. It’s just going to be the process of remembering everything, getting everyone off the clock when I’m supposed to without running short on help, knowing how to pour beer/wine, and dealing with customers when they walk in the door. I know I’ll do fine once I know what I’m doing. I am feeling pretty good about everything but I know that once I’m on my own, I’m going to be stressed out worrying if I’m doing everything like I’m supposed to.

I had to take my car in this morning and had issues getting a loaner since my salesman never called me back yesterday so he came with a car for me so I hurried to school to discover that one was cancelled too! I was so fucking pissed that I rushed to get there for nothing but happy that I didn’t have to see my fests that I had failed and sit there for an hour as I was just exhausted and have been all day. I’m still waiting for them to call me about my car so I can go get it. I really want a nap but that’s not going to happen because I know the minute I lay down and get comfortable, they are going to call wanting me to come pick it up.

My Mom and little brother helped me out yesterday when I had to drop it off at a different place and hung out with me as we waiting for it to get done. I hate being stuck with them but it wasn’t too bad. I really wish I could have a better relationship with them but it is what it is.

It’s just crazy how bad of a mood I’ve been in this week. I know from having my period, not getting enough sleep, and thinking too much has contributed to me feeling so down/angry/annoyed. I just wish I could stop myself from getting like that. I know that every month around the time of my monthly, I get really fucking emotional and just downright pissy! I know that it’s normal for my age since I’m approaching 30 but holy hell! I know that I’m a pretty positive person most of the time but for at least 3 or 4 days out of the month, I completely lose my damn mind!

I got my car back with a $440 bill for brakes and an oil change. I’m going to talk to my salesman on Monday to make sure this is a normal amount for those services and make sure they are going to put it on the end of my loan…

Anyways, I’m going to try and just enjoy my night off.