Enter the 40th turn around the sun in Bittersweet

I turn 40 in the morning. Well in about 8 hours haha. Ill be the big 40. Entering a new decade. Probably more then half through my life (given my grandparents age at death and that two of my moms siblings are already dead ( her youngest brother died a few years ago and older one died from an accident but that dosent count really) My dad died of drug use a couple years ago in his 60s. His parents made it to their 50s. I dont anticipate making it to 70 really. T’s grandparents made it to their 90s. Hes probably halfway through his life lol.

We went to the butterfly pavilion. There were hundreds of butterflies flying around you! Some landing on you. T kept having several end up on him lol. And some guy had one on his hat the entire time I really wanted a picture of the blue morpho butterfly. Those assholes are erratic and insane! They go like mad, dont land, but flutter in insanely fast circles. Constantly.
They had one Atlas moth in a separate area where you could look at her but not touch. No lunar moth. The cocoon was opening but not yet. Unfortunately they dont tell you when the “big ones” will be escaping the cocoons and be put in the observation area. I would LOVE to see a lunar moth once in my life…

We stopped at Ikea because the daughter wanted to go. Infinite Ikea lol. I got some glass sealed containers, a couple new shopping bags. Little girl got an overpriced lamp shaped like a pencil that changes colors. It seems robust. Like… rubber almost lol. Or the TPU phone cases.

We stopped at Costco and tried not to cry at the cost of groceries. Im REALLY having a hard time with food. Like corn. why cant I find frozen white corn! At all. I wont eat the canned shit. It tastes nasty! They didnt even have spaghetti sauce! So much is like.... out of stock. If corn goes cheaper then 50 cents an ear, im going to buy a lot and cut it off the cob, blanche and store it. But im not holding my breath.

Im really stressing about my kid and life and food and shit right now. SO much shit! I dont want to get into it right now.. This was supposed to be happy birthday me.. lol.
He tried. He knew I wanted to do the butterflies. And Ikea was little girl. Costco because it was on the way home and it was a 2 hour drive to Denver anyway. So may as well. But yeah. Is that it is.
Tomorrow ill be working on zucchini bread. I want to get some cherries while safeway has them on sale and T was moaning about the loss of his favorite Jam. Its been like 6 years since we saw it. Raspberry cherry rhubarb. I can do that lol.
I dont like Cake, so none of that. Maybe ill make a load of blueberry lemon bread.