RETREAT! in Meeting Mr. Jesus Christ

After a long day I find myself here, cross-eyed tired, trying to think my way through an entry. I need to get to bed very soon as tomorrow is an early day for me and will be a late one as well.

For over a month I’ve been looking forward to my last autumn trip up north to attend a women’s retreat and conference, “Renew-Rejoice-Refresh” focusing on Proverbs 11:25, “The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters will also be watered himself.”

I believe it is the ticket I need in my spiritual life at this time.

My summer vacation was not many of those things, all though I enjoyed much of the time I was there. It was emotionally and physically exhausting and the little time I’ve been back with my church family hasn’t been enough to re-fill my leaky spiritual bucket. Fresh faces, strong focus on personal growth and introspection is what I deeply feel the need for at this moment.

My mission field has been a busy one of late and highly rewarding but has taken the wind out me the past two weeks. Save for a few blessed mentors and one woman willing to study and talk candidly with me the well has been rather dry. I am in serious need of me time, prayer and meditation with God and loading my coffers with the spiritual and emotional tools needed as the time my treatment process begins is drawing nigh.

The entire issue of going through three months of intensive medical treatment for my liver disease I have placed in God’s hands. Unlike the doctors I don’t have ninety percent hope of being cured, but I do have complete faith that God has His plan for me already laid out and it, no matter what the results, will be for the furthering of my eternal glory and walk with Christ.

Getting a break from the craziness in my neighborhood will also be welcomed. The shootings, killings and around the clock noise of the city are disturbing my sense of peace recently. I’m not shutting it out as easily as I normally do. I think that is in part a result of being part of highly emotional and lengthy hours of answering calls into the mission field. One simply has to have a cocoon to nest into after being drained. I also need more rest and to get stabilized on this new medication regiment.

My prayer tonight is this weekend God will open my ears and perhaps speak clearly to me, guiding me further on the path He desires I walk, and return me safely home prepared for further instruction.

I had a very insightful women’s study at church tonight, some of the subject matter hit my heart closely and showed me where I have open wounds, and desires for my future. I heard what God wants for us and had to face the reality I have had doubts my life will see fulfillment of several concerns I carry quietly within. There remains parts of myself I still haven’t revealed to anyone but God. I know before me stands a large need of prayer and becoming ready on my part.

Good night.