First World Things in Current Events

It’s been such a long week and it is only Monday.

Did you know? I’ve never got to choose my own vehicle. On my walk to work this morning, I wondered why this felt like such a heavy decision. Then I realized that I never had this decision to make before. Before my Caliber, I inherited all my cars from my mother. They were her hand-me-downs. The Caliber, I just took the first offer because I was in such bad shape financially that I didn’t think I would get to choose. Now I get to choose for myself.

My current mantra is They’re Just Thoughts. I had to remind myself of that on my walk to work. Then I had to really think about what my values are. Does owning a Dodge Charger align with my values? Not so much. Make the smart choice, hoe. I could hear my mother saying. You ugly dumb bitch. She would finish. You’re such a disappointment. I would hear as she walks away. If I get something half the price, that is more fuel-efficient, and more practical, especially in the winter. I really want something younger as well. That’s going to be around 20k. Then I felt like the universe sent me a sign. Let’s just spend the extra money so that we can have quality. I heard a woman tell her husband as they were debating something. The Charger is just 10k more. I thought to myself. But, I don’t think I will get the Charger. It’s the car I really want but it is not the car I need. RIP Dreams

Did you know? If you start inquiring about vehicles at various dealerships, you will have men blowing up your phone. I feel so wanted. Koodo has been blowing up my phone as well. I think my tab is almost paid off, and my contract is probably up as well. I can tell because I’m suddenly being offered so much. I’m not rushing into anything. I want to enjoy small cellphone bills.

I failed to stay hydrated enough over the weekend. I know this because I am very diuretic. My PC muscle is starting to ache. ChatGPT helped me figure it out the last time this happened. When I don’t drink enough water, my urine is more concentrated and it is hard on my kidneys so that is why I need to void my bladder so often. I have to be mindful about when I drink my water so as not to flush out the acid in my stomach as low stomach acid is a huge problem. I lost track of it over the weekend. Oops.

I have been impatiently waiting for my tax return deposit to hit. I hate this, lol. I sent it in the mail a month ago. Whatever.

Anyway, I need to call my bank and then browse for… ugly cars. It’s like I’m giving up a pretty little thing that makes me feel free to settle for an ugly tradwife QQ. I suddenly feel 40 and divorced. I’ll just get a motorcycle and start my midlife crisis early.

I’m too choked up so I got ChatGPT to write a Eulogy for the passing of my dream.

Ladies and gentlemen, and variations thereof,

We gather today to mourn the passing of a cherished dream: my dream of buying my dream car. This dream revved its engines with hope and ambition, only to be stalled by life’s many detours.

Though it has left the showroom of possibility, it is survived by Happiness and Hope. Happiness reminds us to enjoy the ride, no matter the vehicle, and Hope assures us that new dreams await down the road.

Rest in peace, dream car. Your journey may be over, but your legacy drives on.