So Close Yet So Far in Current Events

My mother is involving herself in my car search which is menacing but not necessarily a bad thing. She is just looking out for me. She doesn’t want me to make a big financial mistake. I have my heart set on a pre-owned Dodge Charger. I received a few quotes already for some. My mother is far more reasonable about this than I am. More knowledgeable. I don’t do car culture but I see the Charger around and I always think it looks nice. It’s high theft, and it will be expensive to insure. It’s not fuel efficient, you will spend a lot on gas. These cars are young, they’re being traded in because the economy is not performing well. Blah blah. She wants me to get something more economical.

I feel bummed out because I can never have what I want. That’s the vibe. Not that I need my mother’s permission. I trust her judgment, I don’t think she trusts mine. These days, however, I don’t trust mine either. Her idea is that I should settle and get a car I don’t like and save up for my dream car. That route takes money away from my “dream car.” I had an appointment to look at a Charger. I canceled it. They are willing to bring it to me to look at. I declined. Then I changed my mind and took it for a test drive. It’s so close yet so far. My previous car was a 2011 Caliber. I can be impulsive so it might be a good thing that my mother is being a voice of reason even though she is bursting my bubble.

I had it on my bingo card for today that I would be coming home with a vehicle. A Charger. It came to me but briefly. Oh it was hard to watch it drive away. It’s another weekend of empty-handedness. I want a new car so that I can find a new job. I have one lined up that pays a lot more than what I am making. There is still a high chance that I will throw caution to the wind and just get what I want for once. The gamble is this:

If everything goes according to plan, new car > new job > no problem. In my fragile little world, something will go wrong. I won’t get hired, or worse, I’ll hate the new job and want to quit. The car will get stolen. My roommate will move out and I’ll be struggling. I didn’t like her reaction just now when she saw me looking at the car.

Anyway, my sister is in town. We are celebrating my niece’s first birthday. My mother is on her way to pick me up. Should be a good day.