White Flag in Current Events

Hello darkness, my old friend. I’ve come to talk to you again.

It was good while it lasted. My mood disorders went on hiatus but they clocked in this morning. Their absence made it clear that it was triggered. It didn’t bubble up out of nowhere. Rhetoric on social media did me in. Why can’t I be bigger than that?

The pain makes me short-sighted, I know that. Worse than that, it makes me try to intellectualize it. I need to figure out what it is trying to communicate to me. I don’t know how to play this game, I’ll save it for my therapist. Talk me through this doc!

We are in the dumb ages. It’s like I am trying, or wanting, to wake everybody up from their sleepwalking. It bums me out. Why can’t I get depressed over normal things?!

I feel like I need to be doing something. Always. I was going to hit up the gym but I decided to surrender to the pain and spend the rest of the day on my couch. I’ll watch the episode of House of the Dragon that I missed and then finish watching Lucy.

A social media detox is in order. I used to do this all of the time. It’s hard to reign in my compulsive nature right now… the story of my life. Literally, 20 years of blogging about it. Trying to understand it so that I can make it my bitch.

On with the rest of my day then. My crisis list can wait.