Deactivated Facebook, left work early last night. in Since OD is shutting down....

I don’t know, I just continued to stay in a bad mood last night to the point where I was physically sick and decided to leave early. Nobody seemed to give too much of a fuck and I ended up only making like $34 so I wanted to go home 2 hours early. I am honestly just so fucking sick of that place and seriously need to get into something else. I’m tired of the job, I’m tired of the people I work with, I’m tired of all of it.

One of the guys I work with is supposed to be getting promoted like I am is feeling the same way I do. Neither one of us have gotten manager shirts, manager codes, or a fucking raise. They even call him in on his days off, have him go work at the other store, and he had 7 hours of OT but it never found it’s way to his fucking paycheck!!! I mean, do these people honestly think that the way they treat their employees is okay?! I’ve had them pull similar things on me and that’s why I generally don’t go in on my days off anymore and I’m also going to let them know I can’t do Sundays again. That’s my one day a week to just chill so I’m not going back to working 5 days a week. I’m just so tired of feeling like I’m getting raped in the ass every single day I’m there.

I got up and went to my class just to find a note on the door saying it was cancelled so I got home, checked my email and she left one yesterday stating we wouldn’t have class today. I really fucking hate when I not only get up early, but waste the gas to go just to find out I should have checked my fucking email! God damn it! I’m just so annoyed right now because I could have gotten another hour of sleep. It really sucks that I’ve been so sleep deprived all week and the one morning I could have slept past like 7am, I didn’t get to because I didn’t check my email. Fucking Christ.

So last night I updated my status letting everyone know I was deactivating so like 3 chicks sent PM’s with their phone numbers. Wow. A whole whopping 3 people gave a fuck. Well it’s just another reminder how little people really care about me. Again, I’m just fucking invisible. I don’t know, I just feel completely detached from the world and am slowly shutting down. I just don’t give a fuck at all and I don’t know if it’s from never getting enough sleep, being lonely, not having any real friends, my weight, or my job but something has got to fucking change.

Everyone says that I need to get myself out there to meet people but when the fuck do I have time for that?! I also have tried to in different ways like Facebook, CL, and I get nowhere. I just don’t see myself finding anyone that’s going to come into my life and be a consistent friend. Everyone is just about themselves so I’m not sure where I fit in.

I’m just so done with everything. I don’t even care to try at all anymore. I just feel zestless and pessimistic. I know a lot of it has to do with my job because it really gets to me to have been somewhere for over a year and have gotten a raise or much recognition for how hard I’ve worked. I honestly don’t believe I’m getting promoted or getting a raise. I think they are just training me and that other guy as backup so like once a week we’ll close and because we won’t do it much they won’t feel it’s important to give us a raise but we’ll be losing money because as a manager you don’t make tips.

Ryan kinda wanted to spend the night last night but didn’t want to have to get up early which pissed me off as once I get up for the day, I have to stay up but when I drop him off, he’s free to go back to bed. That just irritated me for him to say he didn’t want to get up early when I have to do it every fucking day! I just hate that people get to be lazy and I don’t.

Whatever, time to go drop my piece of shit car off at the shop.