Slowly Improving in Still Listening to Spirit

Glucose levels remain good and I am making a conscious effort to eat properly. The Have dehydration pretty well under control, although I need to do a bit better.

I saw John Tuesday for 2nd visit, I am marginally better but still feel fragile and down, He has asked me to notice ‘triggers’ that set off feelings from childhood and how they effect me now., What? I think he says he is a cognitive therapist.I will have to look that up but I’m thinking I might have done all this work in other therapies, discussions with close friends, and learning from AA. I am making no judgements yet, but we’ll see.

I called Bill for a ride home when I was done. I walk down to the corner where there is seating to wait. The sidewalk slants there and I should have walked in the street as I usually do.

Instead I began to walk on this sidewalk that slants all in one direction. I lost my balance and had to do a couple small stumbling steps to get my balance, Once balance achieved, I took another step anad found myself stumbling in circles to regain my balance.

When I got set down, I looked around to see if anyone had been watching. I knew I looked like I was drunk…sigh

Here’s a story to show I am getting back to me:

Bill and I both woke up at 3:30am the other night and neither could get back to sleep. I said to Bill “Hey, let’s do something!” Bill asked”What?” I told him we could go for a walk in the dark and look for bears. He was amused and pointed out to me that I was getting better.

This year, especially this fall, we have had the worst bear problem we have had since I moved here. The salmon run was not plentiful and the bears were hungry. Hence the bear tearing up the yard to get at an apple tree.

They are tipping over dumpsters, large dumpsters with 2 lids to open. Full or empty, they play with them as though they were toys. Dannie came within a couple of feet of one when she stepped out her front door in the daytime.

I’m done. I am up because my back hurts between my shoulder blades. I’ll get to sleep sometime. Blessed be!