Now Comes The Guilt in meh...

…Kind of…
My zodiac sign is Cancer. For you who don’t follow, hard on the outside, soft on the inside. I’m not a mean person, but sometimes I can look that way. I can disconnect, but I’m rather a loner so that’s nothing new. I don’t like knowing that I’ve hurt someone in anyway.

In the instance of my outburst at my supervisor, the way we are handling each other at this moment, it’s cordial. It’s professional, I guess. It’s formal. All the things I detest. LOL I think, I am sorry for how I presented it. I usually have way more tact and am logically methodical about how I handle things because of this precise outcome. I am tactfully to the point. But this time I failed to be that. So, I fear that I have made things a bit uneasy and more unnavigable for myself here. I don’t want to be heard laughing and having a good time within ear shot of her and then face her and be stoic.

In all my foolishness, I will say, I must find a way to apologize. That’s just who I am. I feel so much better for having done what I did, but the guilt comes in how I presented the package. As when I was but a child, and to repeat sentiments of my mother, I don’t usually mess up, but when I do I mess up BIG TIME.

I am concerned because there was a path. My supervisor started as my co-worker. Then we went from co-workers to friends, friends to confidants, then friends/confidants (frienfidants?) to employee manager. When she took her position, she said to me that she was afraid of what it would do to our relationship. We were okay until we moved into this the administration building. I’m not even on the same floor as my 4 member department. I had problems with that from the start, but I dealt with it. I am enclosed in a space that looks like a very large aquarium, hence I call it, The Fish Tank.

At any rate, I will apologize, not for what I said, but for how it was presented.

Now that this feeling is out of my system (for the time being, I always have residual feelings) I’m starving. Can’t wait for dinner. We’re having sloppy joes.

Kindest regards,
Sister…