Wallflower in Current Events

Walking to the gym gives me time to think about how much my life sucks. Then I have to remind myself that I have Life Dysmorphia. I can’t see how good my life is. For starters, I am walking. I can do that. It would be a miracle for some individuals. Problems appear larger than they are. Nothing is bad or out of control. Why do I keep looking for reasons to be miserable?

I had my epiphany when I was trying on a shirt at a Marshalls. I looked at myself topless in the mirror and started to hate every inch of me wildly. Over what? Nothing. I had the pump after the gym but it wasn’t enough. This is why I don’t do mirrors or count macros. Fitness culture is rife with mental illness. It is hard to witness men on social media show their before and after moments. They will show an image of a perfectly normal-looking teen that they deem unworthy of love. What a brilliant message to put out there. Then they show what they look like a few years later after a radically insane lifestyle change. It is 20% training and 80% diet. That is 100% of their time. Steroid use among men has gone up over 1000%. It is so normalized now. Those who don’t use performance-enhancing drugs or steroids are called natty. I feel that slang is on its way to becoming derogatory. Of course, every five-foot-nothing, twenty-nothing-year-old with a flat stomach who lifts weights is selling their workout online. Calm your tits (gynecomastia) you have your youth, it isn’t that hard. In my opinion, these children don’t need to be bulking and cutting. They’re still developing, I don’t agree that it is safe.

Hustle culture is another one that I feel is rife with mental illness. It preys on mentally ill people. It’s always some unhinged guy trying to sell his course on how to sell courses through motivational garbage. They lie about who they are, and where they come from, and get in the way of the truther movement because they will sprinkle some hard truths in their content. Success is the new salvation. This cult creeps me out sometimes. We are chasing things that don’t exist in reality, for starters. We are not adapting to society because we are not meant to be in it. We can stay radically distracted to pretend that we are not suffering but it will catch up. There has to be a balance. A way to participate without belonging to it, IMO.

For every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction. The far left is going to grow the “far right”. Just a big right. The enemy plays both sides and they need majority governments. We are going to have majority conservative governments everywhere. There will be a few years of world peace before the tribulation, to borrow a fairytale. Problem > Reaction > Solution. It is so painfully obvious it hurts. However, I think we might end up in WWIII instead because they need a reason to have us beg for the great reset and become global citizens with no rights, just social responsibilities. Healthcare will be the one world religion, technocracy will be the new government. Only when we have nothing to lose will we finally give a shit.

The radical feminist movement grew the Redpill movement. I try to hear every side out and I find myself to start hating women if I stick around too long. What do women want? Choices. They can make their own choices now and some men feel victimized by that. They’re the real victims here. Men are being feminized, etc. Now it’s alpha vs beta among deranged men. The big personalities in that movement want tradwives and feel victimized that a lot of women are not choosing to be traditional. Meanwhile, these men are not married and are sluts. Actual sluts. Everything they hate about Western women is what they are themselves. They also believe that they need to protect their alpha status. I watch so many men get caught up in this cult. They’re usually deeply unattractive. They are what leftists are to liberals. They are rightists to conservatives. Far left vs the self-right. They’re both dividing men and women apart. They’re the same thing when you zoom-out. I do like that men’s issues are a conversation though. That’s a silver lining.

Did you know? We finally have heat in my city. I have been waiting impatiently for this. If I am feeling up to it, I will go for a walk to the park to sunbathe and listen to my audiobooks. We are expecting a severe thunderstorm in an hour so maybe not. After I wrote my previous entry, I did end up not letting anything ruin my mood today. I do have to air out my thoughts though so I can focus on bigger and better things.