What I wrote...... in These titles mean nothing.

My Pet Peeve

Oh I have a million of them and they vary from day to day, minute to minute. One though that lasts a lot and is fairly guaranteed to peeve me up pretty thoroughly is cats.

Now I realize cats have a lot of charm. They often are beautiful and cute and even artistic. They come in so many colors and patterns. They have perky ears and wide whiskers. Their tails are works of art and they pose as statues. They are warm and furry and soft and enticing. They sit in your lap and their purrs are music to the ears.

I can like cats. And sometimes I do. But most of the time I don’t.

Sometimes I think if they would just stay on the floor. LIke dogs do. But no. They are on the table, on counters, at the edge of the stove. I even once opened the fridge to find a cat looking out at me. I’ve had them jump into partly prepared food. The time I remember was when I was making veggie pizza. The recipe was refrigerated crescent rolls, unrolled and and spread on a cookie sheet, stretched together to make a solid surface - then baked. After baking and cooling, I spread a a combination of sour cream and cream cheese and perhaps some seasoning on top. That was when the cat leaped onto the counter and onto the pan of two thirds finished veggie pizza. Had the cat not done that, I would have put chopped raw veggies - carrots and onions and broccoli, perhaps tomatoes, and then sprinked with grated cheese. But the cat’s foot prints in the cream cheese/sour cream layer somehow took the joy out of finishing the recipe.

What else do cats do that is irritating?

They walk across the computer keyboard. Sometimes they just type something at random. Sometimes they lose the screen you wanted to see.

They get in your way when you read. A cat is happiest between you and the print - either in a book or newspaper or on a screen.

Cats have an amazing ability to not want affection when you want to give it to them. And of course the inverse is true - they want to be your friend when you don’t want them to be.

They bring dead things into the house. They throw up, they also leave residue from the other end of the cat. Often they do it in the path to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

When they use their litter boxes - sometimes they don’t.

Sometimes they catch mice - sometimes they don’t.

Oh and their damned claws! They lure you into a false sense of security and then they leap from your lap leaving pain and injury that lasts for quite a while. They are known to scratch furniture and destroy upholstery. They want in and they want out. They really like to hang on the window screens to let you know they are ready to come back in.

I’m not sure if I want to end this with a positive note. Maybe I do. But can I think of one? Maybe not.

So why, after all this, do I still live with cats? Beats me.

ps from Stanley B. Stripeybutt

This is a note from one of the cats that graces the life of this woman who wrote that she does not like cats.
That’s just too damn bad.
We don’t like her very well either.
She talks all the time.
She never listens to anybody, me in particular, or my associate, the one-eyed calico who likes to hang on the screens.
Purpose for this PS is that I do not wish to have the above statement misenscrewed in any way. I am living the high life. And when I suffered my road accident and broke my butt, the woman’s associate took me to the vet who eventually said there was nothing to do for me and sent me home. Then the woman’s associate took me to the other house where I peacefully recovered. He kindly provided me with cat food and water and checked in on me every day until I was all better and then returned me to the woman’s house, and my proscribed duties - leaving footprints on the counter as if I’d never been gone.

So, kind people of the Writers Group - do not come and catnap the cat. I’m ok.

Last updated June 13, 2024