no thanks in A New Chapter

  • June 7, 2024, 1:01 p.m.
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  • Public

So, while I never finished my Tolkien-like wedding saga from earlier this year, some of the problems still persists.
Something that came out of the wedding: my dad’s wife refuses to be around my mom. The details as to why are not completely clear to me. But it all started during the white party
night. I guess she said hi to my mom and here is where the conflicts clash: some say my mom ignored her, others say my mom got pulled to the side, and some claim that my mom was just simply distracted. My mom claims she doesn’t remember it happening.

Do I care? yes and no. It is trivial and its not the first time she rolls out a referendum like this one. I think it affects my dad more than anyone else. He is now kind of excluded from social events because my mom will be there. Another thing that triggered the step mom was the fact that everyone loves my mom. She is an angel and she is one of those persons that never sees the bad in anyone. It’s annoying at times but it makes her very likeable. Whenever anyone saw her, they would run up, hug her, kiss her, etc. She has also been part of our lives forever..while step mom has only been around for a few years. Childish and immature to be jealous about something like that if you ask me. Anyways, more details to this but I’m not here to write a 12 volume series.

I walked away from the wedding, if anything, feeling more distant from my brother and sister than ever.
We’re just very different people. It became clear during this wedding. We have been drifting apart for years and I’m okay with that. Our live styles, choices, expectations, interests, are just radically different. For some people, some of these changes might be small and pointless, for others they’re large.

We’re having another baby.
After one week or so of trying, boom. pregnant.
We just went to our three month appointment and everything is running perfectly. We’re a bit more conservative about who we reveal this to. If something goes wrong, we don’t want to have to explain down the road and relive (possibly) traumatic details.

My brother and sister are both in town for a wedding (again.)
My mom wanted us to tell them..but really, their effort towards seeing us has been minimal and we don’t feel like they deserve it.
They messaged us to have a gathering on Saturday for brunch at close to noon (I think at that point its lunch but wtf do I know.) My wife, who is an angel and also tries to see the good in people, asked if we could reschedule after the baby sleeps (which is 3:00 PM) because if we do morning, he gets cranky and we have a time limit. They asked about morning again but really, not interested. The reason they can’t do afternoon? they have a reservation at a restaurant an hour away, so my bro + sis and their partners won’t be around this afternoon.

I couldn’t give a flying fuck. My wife was hurt because they never invite us to this stuff. Even when we were childless. Yesterday we said we were going to visit my mom (who lives next door to my brother) so they could at least see the baby. My brother showed up for like two minutes, the baby cried hysterically when he saw his wife, and they left to go to a coffee shop of some sort.

My sister was coming 2 hours later. We were on the fence about sticking around. But, she was bringing her dog. Mini rant: I grew up with dogs, tons of them, cared for them, and loved them. But people and the dog thing need to calm the fuck down, specially when it comes to safety and inconvenience to the public. My sister has this dog that she rescued but that has an attitude problem. It has attacked people, including a child. I was there for one of the attacks and it was a colossal pain in the ass.

The dog being present was a deal breaker so we said no. We left before their arrival.
This is all much more complicated and seems like stupid family drama (which it is.)
I try to be far away from my brother and sister for a reason (my half sister is incredible and I do love her truly.) I primarily feel bad for my wife. She wanted our son to have a nice, traditional family with lots of support from uncles and aunts. But its not going to happen from those two. And that is fine with me.

After this event, I think my wife has started to see more of how my brother and sister are. My sister is weird with my wife. She tries to at times be friendly and then backs away. Ex: Send wife a nice photo from the wedding, when my wife says “thanks so much! that looks awesome!” my sister does not reply. My wife says happy birthday, my sister leaves the message on read. So really, it’s not worth the energy.

We made the decision that we’re not going to tell my brother and sister about baby #2 right now. Really, they don’t deserve to know and they’re not important people in our lives. They can find out through word of mouth or social media. My mom understood but was hurt by it. She wants us to be “united” but she more than anyone knows that we’re radically different people. She loves my wife and tried to blame this decision on me. It pissed me off and I ended up yelling. I told her that whenever we make a decision she disagrees with, it wasn’t our decision, but my decision. I told her she could call my wife and ask her how she really feels about all and she dropped it.

Those fuckers aggravate me to no end.
But, its the weekend. Tonight I will go to my dad’s house for some barbecue and pool action (which the baby loves.) Tomorrow we’re probably venturing to one of the coastal towns an hour or so away. Sunday, we will see!


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