Just ranting... in Thoughts on thoughts

I had a thought, I was gonna jot down.. but my mind went blank… it does that sometimes, especially when I am at work, I always feel like I need to get things off my chest to breath but at times, it just doesn’t work out. I know I’m not the only one… I love being on this site, being able to get out everything.
Days lately have become so-so.. for some reason I’ve been having flashbacks of memories of childhood.. certain songs will kick it in, thanks so much Pandora radio…
My mom died 5 years ago from Glioblastoma… I still listen to the music she did, a lot of 70s and 80’s mixed in with my crazy 90’s obsession. She was basically my best friend.. being a military brat and traveling from state to state to country.. it’s hard to make friends so I just clinged (in a good way) to my mom… so when she got sick, it felt like a kick in the stomach, she was still so young, not even in her 60’s yet. We found out too late and only had about 4 months with her and lost her in March.. she was the glue who held us together.. now we all kinda go with the flow, my dad takes it day by day has since her death, he’s retired and doing well, my sister and I stay with him every so often so he doesn’t get too lonely. He’s in a big house with his dog. Says he’s good, doesn’t not plan to move until we bury him too he says. My mom is up north where we are from and my dad will follow many many many years later..He says since my sister and I are here, this is where his family is and he will stay here. I don’t blame him. He never really got along with his siblings, he’s youngest of 4 kids.
I guess, if it was me, I’d be the same way, they met in middle school and got married right out of high school… started a family young and moved around per military… I guess when you lose your soulmate so drastically, I don’t know if your brain or heart can process that even these many years later.. but again.. he’s doing his best. We love him for that..