February 2004 in 2000s

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 29, 2004
FedEx found us with no problem. In fact, they found us early while Tom was out getting the mail.

Valentine’s winner emailed Tom saying she sent the payment on Friday, but we’ll see.

As for Haiku, Tom thinks she shipped this last Friday the 27th, and not Friday the 20th which was when I got the tracking link. He says that people can have UPS print labels and send emails before packages are even sent, so I’m wondering if Ricki did that to make me think she was sent out last Friday because she knew I was getting antsy for her, and is ignoring me because she knows she shipped her this last Friday. Either way, I better get the doll or a refund.

Anyway, I got the supplies as I said, and of course they had to fuck up and I had to play email with Bob. I know everyone makes mistakes, though, and it was a simple matter to resolve. They left the grape oil out and I asked if it was on backorder or what. Bob emailed me back saying Jeff had been busy at the site and that he was expecting it in a week. He asked if I wanted credit or for him to keep it on file to put towards my next order. I asked that he ship it when he gets it and he agreed to do so.

Meanwhile, I spent nearly 10 hours going through the 5000 big sticks, pulling the bad ones which amounted to a few hundred which I dipped for myself. I have those and my 500 minis soaking. I soaked $30 worth of retail stuff for next to nothing. I use the minis as timers for when I bounce. They burn a half hour and I do two half-hour bounces a day. They’re also good for in the car when we go by all those smelly cows.

The burners are so-so. The wire pop-ups don’t come with a base of any kind. You have to put it on a plate or something. It’s not something I really care for. Some of the colorful clear acrylic burners are rather dull. Especially the browns and yellows. The greens and blues are ok, but the bright orange sure is nice. I’m keeping one for myself. The only problem is that they’re poorly made. The hole is too low on the slanted part which means some of the ash bounces off because the tip of the stick is too high. Tom’s taking care of that, though, but drilling a second hole higher up the slant, and at an angle that’ll lower the stick closer to where the ash is supposed to fall.

Incredibly, the mini sticks are slightly too long for the mini stick bags. Why oh why are people so stupid, I wonder? Can they ever do anything right? At least they only cost a couple of bucks. I’m sure we can use them for other things anyway.

I got the hang of making the stuff now. I’ve found that it’s easiest to toss the sticks in a Ziploc bag and soak them that way. Then when I go to dry them, I cut off the top of a 2-liter soda bottle that’s clean and dry and I dry them in that.

Meanwhile, tomorrow we’re going to list a couple of variety packs with burners included, to see how they do.

As for our other stuff, it’s not doing too well. The dolls and flags have no bids, but the lamps and hat do, so at least we’re getting something, along with whatever his ancient laptop goes for.

I lost a couple of pounds, so I’ve got just a few more to go. Maybe I’ll do that for as long as I can; diet down to 127, eat my way back up to the low 130s, and go back and forth like that. I’d prefer to diet to 100, even 115, and stay there too, but that’s just the dream of a 38-year-old packed with heavy muscle and a dead metabolism.

I was pleased to get mail saying they want to publish yet another Little Buddy picture! When I signed up as Lin S, I submitted a picture of him licking ice cream off a spoon. I used my real name when I submitted it.

We discussed Tom’s plan on how to go and what to do, even though we don’t yet know where we’re going. The plan is to sell the car and the furniture. Then we’ll buy a small trailer, one even smaller than Dennis’, so we won’t have to stay in hotels, and we’ll rent a storage container for our stuff.

The first thing we’ll do when we get moved is install the septic tank, the water tank, and the solar panels/batteries to generate our own electricity. Then we’ll build a shed and put up the internet dish. After that, we’ll build a bathroom and a temporary bedroom so I no longer have to sleep in the trailer. He thinks we can get this done in 2-3 weeks. Once the main house is built, the bedroom will become a workroom, and hopefully, we’ll install some form of fences along the way as well.

Whatever we do, I just want to get it done!

Later…

The renters are getting on my nerves right now. They’re idling a loud truck, the kids are screaming bloody murder, and their dogs are running around on our land as if they own it. I just hope to hell those damn dogs don’t interfere with the showing of the house! The people are no doubt going to walk about on the land and if they come running up to them, who knows how they may take it? Since 99% of the people here get dogs just to toss them outside 24/7, I’m hoping they won’t be that 1% that either keeps their dogs indoors or doesn’t have dogs at all. The worst thing that could happen would be a sonic boom when the people are inside the house, but that’s a lot less likely than these beasts getting in the way.

The truck just left, but I’m sure it’ll come and go 2-3 more times before they pack it in for the night. It makes me wonder where they go so often. We live 30 miles from the nearest city, so why would a person come and go so often in a town like this?

Anyway, Tom’s still checking out land everywhere except for the eastern part of the country where the humidity levels are higher. We even saw an appealing 8-acre parcel in Oregon. The forest is so thick there that if we have noisy neighbors who are always home, and I know we will, it won’t matter. Wherever we go, I’m sure we won’t be next to the nice quiet older couple that if they do have a dog, it’s inside most of the time, and who doesn’t come and go 5 or more times a day. No, we’ll be next to the home-all-the-time and very rowdy Brady Bunch with their 3 outdoor-only dogs and who knows what in the way of music and vehicle noise/activity.

Now I’m down to 129. I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. It’s so, so easy to go from 132 to 127. As easy as it is for me to gain weight. So why in the world do I just stop losing at 127 no matter what I do? Because something up there wants me to? I’ll be 127 no later than Wednesday.

Still nothing from Ricki. So she either lied about when she shipped the doll or she did ship it on the 20th and just doesn’t want to deal with tracing it. I hope it’s just a case of her bullshitting rather than the package being lost or given to the wrong person.

Still nothing from Paula either. Not even a quick “thanks, I got the stuff.” She’s no doubt busy getting off on getting her ass beat, then running to admire her bruises in the mirror.

Another doom vibe comes true. That back right tire on the car I sensed blowing out blew today, though it was the back left tire. Close enough.

Later…

The renters are back. From the looks of it, they went to get hay for the horse. The next few trips out will probably be for water.

Later…

We ended up doing pretty well after all when it got down to the last few minutes, but that’s not too surprising, I guess. That is when all the action happens. The competition over the hat was fierce. It ended up going to someone in Colorado. The only thing of mine that didn’t sell was the flags. The dolls are going to the same person in the Bay Area, the desk lamp is going to someone in Minnesota, and the disco light is going to someone in Massachusetts of all places, but at least they all live in the US! We’re getting a total of $44 for all this stuff, and except for the disco light that I won with tickets at Game Works, it all only cost us $15 since everything else but Meagan was given to us, which is about what our profit will be after eBay gets their cut and the postage is paid. Still, $15 to pack and ship these unwanted things to others who do want them, versus leaving them here for nothing, is worth it enough to me.

His horseracing game and laptop still have a few days to go, and while the game has no bids, the laptop’s up to $47!

Tonight, on a 7-day listing, we put up 2 decorative plates his mom gave us (I guess next will be the ones I stole) and 3 incense samplers. Each sampler will include an acrylic burner and a 10-pack of 4 different fragrances. We started those at $1.50. One has a blue burner, one has a green one, and one has a brown one.

Anyway, we really didn’t think the dolls were going to sell. It wasn’t till the very last minute that that person bid on them.

Tomorrow should be a fun day for mail. Dalene’s set to arrive, plus the blue Fairytopia Barbie should be at the PO. I don’t know for sure about Barbie, but it’s exciting to know that at around 6 AM, about when I crash, Dalene will be loaded onto a truck bound for Casa Grande where she’ll then be loaded onto the delivery truck! Though she wasn’t a top priority doll-wise, I have wanted her for nearly a year and a half now.

We’re going to wait till we’re moved to order molds.

They seem to boom in spurts where they boom for a few days, then it’s quiet for a few days, and back and forth. Hopefully, I’ll sleep ok till I’m back on days for what I guess will be the last time in this house. Of course, that’s what I thought before, so who knows what other delays may lie ahead? I know we’ll move sometime this year!

I guess tomorrow’s the day my 23 100-packs get shipped out, according to what Bob told me, and I really hope they don’t fuck up and send me 22 packs or 23 packs with one of them being the wrong fragrance!

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 2004
The desk lamp has a bid on it and Tom won $15 on a Slingo, so that’s good, but what’s not good is that Ricki took the rest of the money for Haiku, and I’m like, yo woman, I haven’t received the damn doll! It better get here today like Tom says he’s sure it will. If not, I want the money back. I’m sick of this doll chase!

Houdini must’ve possessed Little Guy last night because he finally broke out. I found him playing in my office. I tanked him overnight, but now he’s back in the wire cage with the plastic roof on to block the widest area which is where I’m pretty sure he got loose. If he gets loose again, though, I’ll just toss him back in the tank till he gets bigger.

Someone emailed Tom last night saying they live in Gilbert, wanting to know if they could pick up the laptop if they win it. Tom told them they could. They’ll probably arrange to meet at Harrah’s if they win.

I could hear someone’s music from the north end of the house, but couldn’t tell where it was coming from. Probably the renters. There was someone home there, though there pretty much always is.

Now that I ate my way back up to 132, I’ll diet back down to 127. See, if I kept eating 2000 calories a day, I’d easily gain 100 pounds in a year!

Later…

Our ghost is getting antsy for us to leave, so not only did the place reek of death, but while I was listening to music, it began playing volume games. My stereo’s volume is set in 2-decibel increments. Well, I suddenly noticed a song got a little softer and saw it had dropped to 24 all by itself from 20. I bumped it back up to 20, and it magically went back down to 24 again. I don’t have to be an electronics expert to know it can’t do that on its own or on account of any mechanical problem.

Amazon Books emailed me saying that 2 of the 3 books I listed didn’t sell, so I threw them in the sell-it-or-leave-it pile we have in the living room.

Not surprisingly, I still haven’t received Haiku. I’m so beyond being fed up with this doll delivery curse that’s been on me ever since I started collecting, and I’m very, very seriously considering hanging it up. Tom says not to worry and that he’ll call Ricki Monday and that we’ll get either the doll or our money back, reminding me that it’s her responsibility to get her here.

I know it is, so then why is it that I’ve been the one having to fight for her for a month now? Why is it always up to me to email or call people to get them to do their damn jobs? I’m so fucking sick of having to correct other people’s mistakes and do their work for them! I wonder if I should even get the mannequin when the time comes. I mean, would they get it to me? I just don’t get why it’s such a big deal for people to put things in the mail and just mail them off!

Ricki took the money for it last night, so somebody fucked up somewhere be it her or UPS. The damn doll could be anywhere, and who knows if it’s traceable? Maybe she had the printing label done up on the 20th but didn’t ship the doll till today. I checked her email, and from what I read, she was talking about sending it on Friday the 20th, not this Friday. And I don’t like how she’s ignoring my email. All I know is that I’m not ordering any more dolls. I’ll get them in person or I won’t get them at all. I don’t want them with the mail games included in the price. Meanwhile, until the delivery curse hits other things, other things are what I’ll get, but not till we’re moved and settled.

The winner of Valentine still hasn’t sent us the cashier’s check for her, so come Monday, assuming nothing arrives tomorrow, Tom’s going to let her know that we’re not going to play mail games with her either and that the doll will go to the runner-up. I didn’t want this one to win in the first place because she had negative feedback. You’re not supposed to bid if you do, but people don’t know how to read. That’s why the camera is on its way to France.

So far we’re not doing so well this time around with our eBay listings. Perhaps that’s why we won the $15.

There is some good news in the midst of these doll headaches and that’s that both my supplies and Dalene are in Phoenix. I didn’t think there’d be a problem with Dalene. She’s plastic, after all. What sucks is that UPS doesn’t do Saturday deliveries, so she’ll have to sit there till Monday. The supplies, on the other hand, should be here tomorrow.

More good news is that the complete second season of Charlie’s Angels (with Cheryl Ladd and not Farrah) is due out in April! I was hoping it would be, and I’m also hoping that eventually, all the episodes with Kate will be out. I’d much rather buy them than play hit or miss with a DVD recorder once we get one. I’m glad I wasn’t Kate’s co-star. What torture it would’ve been if I couldn’t have had her! It’s too bad Jaclyn Smith isn’t my favorite angel. She was the only one who remained on the series throughout its 5-year run. I’d be surprised if they put out any DVDs after Kate left the show and Shelly Hack and Tanya Roberts hit the scene as its ratings plummeted from there. Anyway, this set will make a total of 49 episodes, and I believe she was in about 87, so I’ll be a little over halfway there. I made Tom watch some with me earlier and I told him I’d watch some of his favorites with him if he wants.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2004
Haiku’s tracking site never updated, yet because they never changed the delivery date listed, I’m still hoping she’ll be here today. Tom said it’d make them look really stupid if there was a delay and they didn’t update the delivery date, but people are too stupid to care just how stupid they look, so I’ll just hope for the best. All I know is that I’m getting really sick and tired of fighting for porcelain dolls. A person shouldn’t have to work to get dolls delivered to their door once they’ve been paid for. This is supposed to be the shipper’s responsibility. I shouldn’t have to call this person and email that person asking where the damn thing is, yet tomorrow, for the last time, I’ll call Ricki if I don’t get her today. If it turns out for some reason that she still has her, I’m going to tell her to keep her and refund my money. I’m not going to fight for a doll I’m not meant to have. I hate to have to deprive myself of any more porcelain dolls, but if Haiku doesn’t arrive today, I’m going to order all vinyls. For some reason, they don’t seem to have a problem getting to me. Not yet anyway. I might do Ashton, but I’ll have to do without Alexa, Sweet 16 Bailey, and dolls like that if there’s always going to be a problem getting them.

Tom says another possibility is that Ricki screwed up the shipping label and so they redid it with a different tracking number, and since you can’t trace packages by name, I can’t know this for sure.

Another thing that’s strange is that Ricki never took the rest of the money for her, but Tom says that may be simply because she’s waiting on delivery confirmation.

This will be it as far as Maricopa purchases go. We may be here another couple of months, but still, we don’t want anything cutting it too close.

There’s this gorgeous 40-acre parcel of land in northern Nevada that’s way remote. It gave me good vibes just from seeing shots of it on the computer screen. It might be good to make myself wrong about the White Mountains and get out of Arizona altogether. In Nevada, we can do internet gambling and I can get fruit trees shipped there if I want them. Plus, they don’t tend to play favoritism when it comes to non-whites, and I doubt they hate Jews and gays as much and have such ridiculous laws.

The good thing is that Bob sent me a tracking number and when I traced my package, I found that FedEx does Saturday deliveries, unlike UPS. They’re cheaper too, so as long as they can find us without always having to be led in by the hand, I just may like them better. Their tracking site is easier to navigate as well.

Last night Tom listed an old laptop and a horseracing game. The computer’s already up to $16 and he hopes to get a lot more than that come Sunday. Of my stuff, the hat’s got a bid on it.

I totally love my new Little Guy. Usually, it takes days to really bond with a new pet, yet if anything happened to him right now I’m sure I’d go to tears. He likes us better than the other rats, though today I saw him playing with one of them for the first time. I think he’ll like being in a huge wire cage with roommates better than being all alone in a small glass tank. Besides, he eats well here. I’m sure the store doesn’t give him the variety of food he gets here.

Although Little Fella’s still hanging in there, I don’t think I can keep him going much longer. He’s just too old. I’d be awfully surprised if he made it out of here with us.

We have this game we play where I walk up to the cage and he jumps up to the roof for me to open it and take him out. I think he’d literally jump up into my arms if he could! He loves to be held. Most rats tend to be fidgety in a person’s arms, even if they feel comfortable with them because they’re such animated creatures. This one’s got just as much spunk as any other young rat, yet he often parks himself either on my shoulder or under my ponytail at the nape of my neck and just sits there for a while.

Later…

Sure enough, Haiku never came, so I went and emailed Ricki and once again we’re playing the where-is-it? game. I’ve already deleted the names of other dolls from my list that I was going to get from her once we got moved and settled. They’re just not worth fighting for. Meanwhile, I hope I get the $27 she already took for it if no one’s going to deliver it to me.

I also think it was dumb of me to order from them just because they’re cheap. Discount prices usually mean discount service.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 25, 2004
Tom’s painting right now so I thought I’d write.

Little Guy is such a sweetie. He sure is quick and nimble, too. He’s very calm, yet full of spunk. He loves to be handled and he jumps up at me when I walk by the cage.

I sculpted a mini stick burner last night, then colored it with permanent markers that won’t wash off. It’s the best burner yet if I do say so myself. The problem with most ash catchers is that they don’t have a dip in the center that’s long enough to catch all the ashes, so the ashes from the top of the stick tend to roll off. I also made the part that curves upward where you insert the stick stand up straighter so that the stick sticks pretty much straight out and closer to where the ashes fall. That way they won’t bounce off the edges. It’s a very sturdy and sure ash catcher.

I hope that the fact that I haven’t gotten a shipment notice from Bob doesn’t mean that the first order hasn’t been shipped yet. They’ve never taken longer than two weeks before, so maybe, just maybe, it’ll get delivered today. I don’t sense it, though.

Dalene went from Palatine, IL to Hodgkins, IL, then she departed from there at 7:00 this morning.

We all struggle in life and I know there’s no way around it, but God needs to ease up on us. He really does. Our struggles have been way too extreme. I mean, how often do people get thrown in jail for something they shouldn’t be thrown in jail for? And how often do people lose their house? I could keep going back in time and adding more extremities to the list, but I won’t. I just wish God would give us a break and give us more ordinary struggles to deal with. I’m also sick of the one thing after another bullshit. I wasn’t even done with the freeloaders and off probation much more than a month before Tom got shit on and fired. And this transition is taking forever! We know we lost the house, we’ve known it for months now (especially me), so it’s like, can we just quit with the delays and get on with it already? It’s like, just let us get moved even if it’s to a dump of a house or even an RV! I just want to get moved and stay there for at least 15 years if not forever. And I’d like a few months in between problems, too. Problems that are a little less off the wall.

Anyway, I still sense we’re going to the White Mountains and I still sense the $135,000, but I’m no longer sure of April with the way we had to stop and play form. A delay like this could bump it up a month or even two, but I guess I still sense we’ll be out of here in April. It just might be late April.

Later…

No wonder I didn’t sense a delivery today. Bob emailed me just now saying it’s going out today.

Anyway, I did some Barbie research and found that even the people selling the blue fairy on eBay say it’s very hard to find, so I ordered one for $16.99 + free shipping from New Jersey. Why that one’s so obsolete beats me, but it doesn’t seem that Walmart or K-Mart are going to carry it anytime soon.

Counting all the Barbies I’ve kept, along with friends of hers, I’ll have a total of 29 once the blue fairy arrives.

Still no update on Haiku, yet it still says she’s on for tomorrow’s delivery. Tom said he once tracked a package that didn’t update until the evening before the day it arrived. I’m going to be getting rather worried if there’s no update this evening. Why is it always the porcelain dolls that are so hard to get? I don’t have nearly the trouble I have with them when it comes to getting vinyl dolls.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 2004
We listed more items a little while ago, but by the time we got done with the 6 items I wanted to list, he was too tired to list his things, so he’ll list them Thursday and do 3-day listings. My stuff will end on Sunday evening just like last time. I’ve got the Autumn and Meagan dolls listed, 2 flags, a desk lamp, the revolving party light, and a sequined baseball cap. Tom had to edit it because he wrote sequenced instead of sequined.

I woke up miserably tired yesterday so I decided again to say to hell with my schedule for now while there’s nothing much going on. If I’m on nights when the house is on the market; they call before stopping by, so he can get me up when we get called. Last night I slept the 12 hours I knew I needed to sleep and didn’t get up till just before noon.

Although yesterday started off with me being tired, it was still a good day. We mailed Alex and Eve off to New York first. I believe they’re going to a store owner who’s going to resell them. Today Tom mailed the camera to France, and we haven’t yet received the cashier’s check from Michigan, so Valentine hasn’t been shipped yet. I think she’ll be going to a collector.

We zipped over to Casa Grande from the PO and checked out a few craft shops, but they didn’t have what I wanted, so we went to both Walmart and K-Mart. Walmart had a few figurines to paint, but I wasn’t impressed with them, so I got glitter paint and sculpting clay instead.

At K-Mart, I got the pregnant Midge doll who wears heels so high that I’m sure no pregnant woman would ever wear. Not that high anyway. You probably wouldn’t have your hair so long if you were pregnant either, and of course, her stomach gets perfectly flat when you remove the “womb” which isn’t very realistic. After childbirth, you have too much stretched-out flesh to get your stomach all that flat. Even I know that without ever having a kid, though a few women come close every now and then. Still, it’s a cute doll and adds variety to my collection. I even decided that since I’m getting to be more and more of a Barbie collector, I’d make a chart like my porcelain and fashion doll chart, and so I did. It took quite a while to create as I had to sift through journals to find out when I got who.

Because of all the controversy over the pregnant Midge doll, she’s starting to be pulled off the shelves. Tom said he heard the controversy was over people not wanting anything sexual related to a child’s toy which makes no sense. If this is really the case, then no dolls of any kind should exist as we all got here by sex. I heard it was over sending a message saying that family is the only suitable lifestyle. Either way, it’s true that they preach certain lifestyles too much, suggesting other ones aren’t good. It’s okay to have family this and career that but what about being single? How about being gay? And why not be single with kids? I think it’s horrible how in today’s world a pregnant woman is as scoffed at as a working woman of the 60s was. Everyone’s an individual, and as long as they’re not harming others they should be able to live their lives as they see fit and everyone else should stay out of it and mind their own damn business.

Our last stop was at Pick-A-Pet. We wanted to get a younger rat for Baldilocks to play with and so we did. He’s a cutie. I liked him right away and he seemed to do the same with me. He’s of a solid color which isn’t quite white nor is it tan. It’s like a soft cream color. Since we’ve had Little Buddy and Little Fella, I’m calling this one Little Guy. They had him alone in the store for a couple of weeks to be segregated from the rowdier rats. When the girl there picked him up, he seemed eager to be handled and didn’t run and cower in the corner of his small glass cage (we could tell he’d never climbed a wire cage before when we got him home).

The girl there also told us of these people who not only let their rats run around loose, but they sleep with them, too! I don’t see how even the heaviest of sleepers could do that. If they sleep at night, that’s when the rats are most active.

Once we got him home he was a little intimidated by the others but is getting used to them. He’s capable of escaping if he really wants to, but he hasn’t. However, he sure does love to explore when I let them out. Tom and I play with them together at times and I was amazed at how far he ventured away from home. Normally they start out little by little, getting further away with time. Unlike his roommates, he just may end up crossing the kitchen.

Anyway, it had stormed before we left. Then, right after we got back in it poured like hell, partially filling the washes.

I surprised myself by sculpting a rat and in no time at all, too! Then I baked him up firm and painted him with the 6 different colors I got of the glitter paint. Not a bad first try. I always had the feeling I could sculpt, though I don’t expect to take it that seriously and be sculpting dolls. I don’t care to do it bad enough to get that good. I’d rather concentrate on other things like painting/selling figurines. Since we can’t find a good selection in person, we’ll probably order concrete/cement/plaster molds from an eBay store with the sale money from this latest listing. There are some flowers, mermaids, angels, rabbits and Indians I like.

Haiku’s tracking never updated, but neither did her delivery date, so I’m going to assume she’s somewhere in Texas right now, will hit Phoenix tomorrow, then here the next day. Can’t wait!

Meanwhile, Dalene’s getting ready to leave Illinois and will be here Monday, March 1st!

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2004
Yesterday was a lot of fun! Yes, life really does improve with age. We talked, laughed and joked along the way about all kinds of things. Despite Tom’s faults, and we all have them, there’s definitely no one else like him in the world. Guess I wouldn’t be coming up on a decade of marriage if there was.

We were talking about what we’d do if we were suddenly the only people in the world. I’d want to live on the beach in California. We’d both want to raid the stores worse than the blacks did when they had to carry on like spoiled little children over the Rodney King verdict (though I always agreed those white pigs were guilty). Tom pointed out that it’d be hard not to be tempted to do things that were dangerous, like flying big jets. That would be tempting, alright.

Anyway, we headed out at 9:30 in search of yard sales. As I told Tom would be the case, there were very few because we were looking for them. It’s when you’re not looking that you find these things. We did make several stops, though, and we got a lot for our money. There were only two yard sales. The first stop was at a church rummage sale. I was kind of glad not to find anything there of interest as I didn’t exactly like the idea of our money going to a church.

We drove through the area closer to the mountain that’s gorgeous with tons of saguaros and that was also too expensive for us. I was bummed to have gotten such dull land, but now I’m glad we did or else that’d be two things that’d be hard to give up. Giving up the house will be hard enough.

Once we felt we’d gone far enough and decided to turn back, we passed a scummy-looking cock trying to hitch a ride. I told Tom he should’ve teased the sucker and turned around right after we passed him, making him think we were stopping to pick him up. He laughed at that one.

Then we were nearly run off the road by some cock who passed us on a single-lane road. Right as we turned onto a double-lane road and I told Tom to run and jump on top of him and tailgate the sucker and that there were no pigs around, one passed us heading the opposite way. Fortunately, though, the pig didn’t stop and turn around to chase us because we were 6-7 miles overboard. Meanwhile, Tom scared the cock off, cuz pig around or not, he went flying down the road like the devil was chasing him. It was pretty funny.

We discussed the possibility of having a street name at the new place, and Tom said that although he thinks we will, maybe we’ll get to name it. That’s when I said, “How about Don’t Fuck with Me Lane?”

He said, “That’s something you’d name it, alright. I like Incense Lane.”

I said, “Yeah, or Angel Lane since Angel is my favorite fragrance and a nice name as well.”

After we stopped at the Stanfield Circle K, we zipped across the street to another yard sale, but found nothing there, either. They just had one Barbie in which one of the women there was bragging about it being from the 60s which was precisely why I didn’t want it. I’m a modern doll collector.

The next stop was at a gift shop in Casa Grande. They had a lot of cute knickknacks, but nothing that really jumped out at me, so then we went to Eckard’s drugstore where I found an adorable figurine. Actually, it’s pretty big compared to most, so I’d say it’s more like a statuette. It was unfinished with just a coat of flesh tone as it was meant to be an outdoor decoration. It’s a little girl with ponytails kneeling on the ground, legs tucked under her, holding a bubble. The plastic bubble really looks just like a bubble, too. There’s a wicker basket by her side, too. I knew right away I didn’t want to throw her outside with the dogs and for the birds to poop on her, so I picked up kid’s washable paints at K-Mart and a set of brushes. I named her Katrina after a character in my current best seller, so to speak. I painted her hair yellow-blond, the bows in her hair purple, and her dress pink with blue and green accents. I did her nails in pink and her eyes blue. Doing the eyes and eyelashes was the hardest. I did orange dots for earrings and made the basket blue with orange around the top. The basket would be good for flowers, coins and other little things. Right now I have a few packs of gum in it. She’s on brown dirt with clumps of green grass. I wish the brown was lighter, but the paint kit came with all darker browns. She was definitely worth the $13, plus the few bucks the paints and brushes cost. She’s a good size and would be 16” high if she could stand.

This brought us to another possible selling idea. Since it’s only $10 a month to open an eBay store, we might add painted figurines that I paint to sell along with the incense. It’s fun to do, and tomorrow we’re going to check out some craft stores in Casa Grande. Maybe we’ll get some molds.

Because of the new Walmart, K-Mart was near dead. We had to wait forever at the register, though. The only other things I got there were a set of 7 scented shower gels and a silver glitter barrette to replace the purple glitter barrette I just lost that I’d had for a million years. Must’ve had it since I was somewhere between 15-20.

The only other stop we made was at a dollar store. I don’t know why they say they’re a dollar store when half the things in it are more than a dollar. For $2, I got a thick bushel of long brown hair attached to a hair clip. This way if I want to go long without having the hassles of having to wash and brush it till my own hair gets long again, I can use this. It’s similar to the one I had back east that was on a banana clip. A few more gray hairs, though, and it won’t look right.

Yesterday was Lin S’ birthday yet Memolink didn’t give her the 50 points they gave Jodi, so they must either know who Lin S really is or quit giving out birthday points.

I ordered 23 100-packs a little while ago. I’ll be looking forward to that, along with the dolls and supplies.

Today we’re doing the usual Sunday things – laundry, trash burning, and Tom’s edging in the bathroom. I draped an old sheet over the rat’s cage just in case it was the paint fumes that made LF ill.

Later…

The 4 items we sold tonight did pretty well. I paid a total of $80 for the 3 dolls I sold and made back a little more than half of that, not counting shipping. Alex and Eve sold to the same person in New York for $14.55 and $21.50, Valentine sold to someone in Michigan for $5.50, and his camera sold to some idiot in France for $8. He’ll have to let the stupid shit know that we specifically said we’d only ship within the US and that if they really want the damn thing, they’ll have to foot the postage.

He got an email while he was out burning from someone in Australia asking if they could bid on one of the dolls, but by the time he got around to checking his mail, the auction had ended.

He says he’s willing to be flexible if they’ll pay the postage, but I’m like, as flexible as France? I don’t know if that’s worth the time and trouble.

Next week I’ll be listing 12” Autumn and 16” Meagan, but not 22” Amelia. She’d be too much shipping, so I’ll either yard sale her or keep her. Whatever’s meant to be. I’m also going to list those 2 lamps and 2 flags. He’ll have half a dozen things to list, too. Oh, and we’re going to relist 5 of the 6 plates as well. We want to research one of them further as it could be worth a lot of money.

Anyway, for the first time in ages, I feel like I’m working at something I enjoy, and for once, for once, I’m getting paid for my work, so that’s nice. Doing things for nothing is okay every so often, but when that becomes all you do for so many years, you start wishing you could get a little something for all your time and effort.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2004
That’s 3 days in a row they boomed by, so I’m glad I decided to stay on days. I let myself sleep in till 9:00 yesterday to get the 10 hours of sleep I knew I needed. Today, though, I got up at 8:00 and tomorrow I’ll get up at 7:00. That’ll give me a couple of hours to wake up before we go scout out the local yard sales to see if we can find anything good to sell on eBay. I can’t wait! I’m totally looking forward to it. Maybe I’ll find something good for me, too. This selling frenzy we’ve been on is fun!

When I got up this morning I was afraid I’d get no email pertaining to Haiku and an email saying that Dalene, who we finally got around to ordering last night, was out of stock. However, there’s a pending transaction to take the money for Dalene, and UPS sent me the tracking number for Haiku! Finally, she’s on her way! She and Dalene are both coming via UPS and may arrive on the same day.

Alex has 5 bids and is up to $8, Eve has 5 bids and is up to $10.06, and Valentine has 4 bids and is up to $5.50.

I got a letter from Mary. She’s been doing well. She mentioned the doll pictures I sent, but not my stories. I hope she got them and just forgot to mention it.

She said she hasn’t felt like working on the book, though she did enclose a letter for Maria for me to translate which I had fun doing.

Another month and she’ll have been there a whole year. By now she must’ve had to put up with a million cell changes and other changes as well as new rules. Nothing ever seems to stay the same for long in jail, prison or on probation.

It’s still looking like we’ll end up in the White Mountain area and we’ll probably leave here in an RV or trailer of some kind and then buy the land, rather than buy it first. We want to scout it out and for me to use my vibes to focus in on if there’s any evil lurking about a particular piece of land or not.

Her cousins are sending her money which is good, since she’s so disgusted with Carolyn, not that I can blame her. If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times – the best thing she could do would be to walk away from her family forever. Maybe even Adam if he’s still associating with her mom as he may try to pressure her into contacting her. Sometimes we really gotta wipe the slate clean like that, but most importantly, she’d be ridding herself of people who have used and abused her in just about every way possible. No one can make her walk away from her family, particularly her mother, Carolyn, Rick and Derek, but I can’t stress enough just how much better off I think she’d be. Take it from someone who put up with 31 years of abuse from her parents, aunts, uncles, brother and sister, I told her, then finally mustered up the courage and self-respect it took to pull back and see them for the people they really truly are. Once she does that and once she asks herself if they’re her type, she can be rid of them and move on. I understand she’s young and it’s a difficult thing to do at her age. When people told me I shouldn’t have anything to do with people like my family who could do the things they’ve done to me when I was younger, I just couldn’t imagine having the strength to let go. After all, our family is all we’ve known and so it’s not an easy thing to do when we’re young. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she did end up cutting them off in the future and wished she’d done so years ago. It takes guts, and the more she sees her family for what they are, and the more she grows and gets stronger, the easier it will be to let go of the bad and move on to the good. I told her not to let anyone try to tell her that dumping her family is cold. They wouldn’t be so quick to say that if it was a lover that was abusive, would they? People put too much stock in biology, but as far as I’m concerned, biology is no excuse for even a fraction of the things her family’s done to her, nor what mine have done to me.

I don’t understand why her case is taking so long. Why don’t they just get the trial over, give Monster his sentence, give her hers, then move on? I mean, what’s the big deal? Why the multi-year holdup? Those snipers who shot up a zillion people a year or two ago are already tried/convicted.

Come to think of it, I wonder if the February “win” vibes were really all about the swap meet and eBay, and perhaps I just assumed they were about tickets cuz I didn’t know we’d be doing that for sure this month.

Anyway, we don’t know yet how we’re going, where we’re going, and what we’re going to live in till the house is built. We may live in an old single-wide or an RV. We may sell the car and go up in either a U-Haul or a trailer that we’ll pull the truck with, or get rid of so much stuff that we can fit it all in just the car and truck, though I doubt that one.

I wonder if people let their dogs run loose in the White Mountains as well. It wouldn’t surprise me if they did. It just doesn’t seem customary for Arizonans to take their dogs indoors unless they’re Miss Perfect.

I just made myself up a bundle of butter rum incense. It felt so good to be able to do that too, and just make my own!

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2004
No Mary mail today. I’m still waiting to hear her review of my books, but she doesn’t usually write unless she has drafts to enclose, which means she probably hasn’t been in the mood to do drafts. I know now that her aunt does have my number, so if something were wrong, really wrong, I’d get a call. Or, as I should put it, a message, since I don’t usually answer my phone. I don’t always hear it ringing either, depending on where I am and what I’m doing.

In the midst of the happy, productive feeling I’ve had what with working and getting paid for my work, there is some sorrow mixed in, for my Little Fella’s dying. Since he doesn’t appear to be suffering, I’m trying to put spells on him to prolong his life for as long as possible. If he were suffering, I wouldn’t do it. That’d be selfish and cruel.

Tom listed an old camera he has from the late 30s and I listed Valentine. Later he’ll go through the sheds to see what old junk he has in there he can sell.

I told him getting tickets is a waste of time because of all the selling we’ve been doing. Because of that, we’re going to be compensated with losing tickets, I told him, but he’s been getting them anyway cuz it’s fun for him.

I told him to beware of a tire blowing on one of the vehicles. Sure enough, he said one on the car started leaking.

Later…

Little Fella’s still hanging in there, and the spell I put on Tom to protect him from spiders and scorpions so he could safely rummage through the sheds seemed to work well. He always runs into them in the sheds.

I’ve been having a blast running around the house looking for things to sell while we’re on this successful selling streak. All things we don’t want, naturally. When the shipment of supplies arrives, we’ll probably put together a variety pack of sorts, both with and without burners, to sell on eBay, too. They sell tons of incense on eBay, though, so I don’t know for sure if we’ll do this. It seems you can sell just about anything on eBay.

Since Valentine also got a bid, I think maybe next Tuesday I’ll list Amelia, Autumn and Meagan. Tuesdays are good for beginning 5-day listings. As we’ve learned, prime time on eBay is in the evenings, especially on weekends so we want our auctions to end then. I’ll also try selling the two remaining flags I have, a cap decorated with sequins, the crystal lamp and the revolving disco light.

I don’t know if it means anything, but it hit me that we may not be punished for moving in the way we were for moving here because of how we’re being forced out. We were forced out of Phoenix too, but not in the way we’re being forced out of here. Where we end up, though, could be a punishment in itself, so we’ll just have to wait and see. All I know is that something wanted Tom out of the bank and us out of this house. Somewhere within the next 45-90 days, we should know why.

Later…

Oh no, I won’t be letting my schedule go. Not with the thunderous booms I just heard. I hate feeling controlled like this! Sleep is one department I haven’t been able to lift the curse from, but because I don’t have to get up 5 days a week in order to make a living, I doubt I ever will. I figured it was something up there’s way of compensating me with the fact that I don’t have to work. Still, I wish people would leave my fucking sleep alone. If it isn’t neighbors waking me up, it’s something else.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2004
It seems we’ve traded in booms for shots. Yeah, they’re shooting up a storm out there. I don’t know why, but they’re shooting every day from sunrise to sunset like last year.

He started my Imprisoned Love story yesterday and said he didn’t like the start of it, saying it seemed too busy and almost like I was in a hurry to get through it. Yeah, there’s a lot of action crammed into not so many pages.

Meanwhile, the story I’m working on now may end up taking forever. Especially if I’m unable to work on it for a while.

I’m surprised and pleased to report that both dolls have bids on them. Eve’s had 27 views and Alex has had 24. Maybe the sell curse is off! With their sale money, I’ll probably buy some more dipped 100-packs. It’d take 23 scents to cover the $50 minimum, so I think I’ll get baby powder, black Henry, black magic, black narcissus, booty call, butt naked, bump & grind, cedar, fast cash, hot love, jasmine, magnolia, majmua, morning mist, patchouli, puddy cat, strawberry musk, strawberry vanilla, sun moon stars, sweet musk, vanilla melon, white diamonds & white linen.

We’ve been discussing the various alternatives as far as what to do until we’re in the house. We may even rent an RV instead of getting a cheap old single-wide. That way we won’t have to play hotel while we’re waiting for the dump to be set up. The septic in particular can cause enough of a delay. Or maybe we’ll rent a drivable moving van. For just a little over $200, we found that we could get a drivable van that’ll hold furniture from a 4-bedroom house, and use it to pull the truck. We’d then sell the car and the old green truck.

However we’re going, wherever we’re going, I just want to get it over with!

We agree that it’d be best to build the house in modules. Why wait till it’s all complete when we can start with a bedroom and a bathroom and use it right away?

I hope Haiku gets shipped out this week without any more delays! I think that if there are any more problems I’m going to tell her to forget it and to refund the part of the money she’s already taken.

Later…

We’re really turning the tables as far as our luck and old curses go! Not only was I astonished to get a check from Netflip for the $23.90 they owed me, but also, Eve’s now up to $10.06. Still down to $1.25 on Alex, but she’s black, so that’s probably why.

Tonight I plan to list the 14” Valentine fairy on a 5-day listing, starting at a buck. Porcelains aren’t in demand like vinyl is, so I don’t know if she’ll sell. If she doesn’t, I’ll try to sell her at the tag sale. If that doesn’t work, then I guess she was meant to stay with me as I won’t be leaving her behind in the house.

He worked on the bathroom while I worked on the retreat earlier. I got almost half of it done.

Calling a realtor tomorrow as we planned is going to be delayed a week or two. Tom sent the bank a letter a week ago telling them that we plan to sell. He then planned to give it till today to see if he heard back from them about it, saying he had to go through certain procedures. Sure enough, there’s this form they want him to fill out before it can be listed. In the meantime, I’ll probably let my schedule go for a while.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 2004
Today we’re painting and getting the house presentable for the realtor who he’s going to call in two days. I’m not just worried that the realtor and or potential buyers will try to fuck us over because there are evil, greedy people everywhere and because we’re cursed with that, but I worry about Tom’s Mr. Nice Guy appearance/attitude. I really believe that’s part of why so many people have taken advantage of him. He doesn’t need to be a monster, but if I were seeking someone to screw over, just a few minutes of talking with him and I’d get the impression big time that I could walk all over him and that he wouldn’t fight back. So hopefully he won’t come off as too nice this time around. Better to be a bitch and scare people off than to be so nice that you end up being a magnet for trouble.

The 16” vinyl Alex and Eve dolls were listed last night at a buck with no reserve. Tom thinks they’ll sell, but I have my doubts. Anyway, we’ll find out next Sunday. They’ve had 10 views so far.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2004
Oh, those damn freeloaders and the headaches they put us through! And damn the colorblind idiots who call this paint soft pink when it’s really a cross between off-white and light peach. It’s a lovely color - don’t get me wrong - it’s just that it’s going to take two coats to cover the blue tulip design in the bathroom, and that room’s no doubt going to be hard enough on Tom with all he has to paint around. He even has to paint around the mirror because the damn thing’s glued on because they couldn’t line the screws up with the studs. He says it’ll be easy enough to scrape off any paint he gets on it, though, once it’s dry.

I’m going to be doing most of the retreat myself, but now that we know the pink doesn’t cover well because of how light it is, it’ll be done in blue.

Wednesday’s the day he decided to call the realtor. Tomorrow, President’s Day, I’ll do a basic cleaning to have it presentable for showing. I’ll keep it clean enough on the surface till it’s sold, then I won’t worry about it afterward. If I could survive all the cleaning I had to do when we moved in here, I’m sure the newcomers can handle putting forth a little elbow grease of their own. It’s not like it’ll be trashed, though. Actually, it’ll be cleaner than most people would leave it. I can just imagine the condition someone like Miss Perfect would leave her house in if she sold it, not that she ever would.

I’m sunburned and drained today, but won’t let myself take a nap as that’d foul up my schedule. It’s now at the point where I’ll need to be on a schedule till we’re settled in Dan’s dive. Tom thinks that’ll be 8 weeks from now, but I know that things usually take longer than expected, so I’m considering it to be 12-16.

I’m going to try to muster up the energy to work on my story since I may have to be without my computer for a couple of months or more. Hand-writing journals is one thing, but hand-writing stories is the worst way to go, I think, because of all the changes you make along the way. Therefore, I’d recommend those with computers who like to write stories use that. Even a typewriter hardly seems suitable to me. I was shocked when Mary told me that Stephen King supposedly hand-writes his stories before he types them up. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to do that.

I’m not going to worry about my weight till we’re settled in the new place. Then I’ll decide whether or not to try to maintain it or allow myself to gain whatever, since losing isn’t really an option. When we were at the swap meet I looked around at all the people and thought, no wonder they say the average American is overweight. Very few were thin, and of course, most who were thin were mostly under 30.

We opted not to return to the swap meet today because of our sunburns and because we figured the same people would be there since it’s such a small town.

Tom thinks the buyers will want a home inspection done here as well, and I was like, on a 4-year-old house? But he says it’s not just to see that the house is structurally sound, but to get a warranty, and that basically everyone has it done.

I wasn’t going to do this, figuring that it’s not the buyer’s fault that someone had to fuck us over and cause us to lose the house, even if we are ready to go, but they’re still invaders as far as I’m concerned, that’ll be living in my house. Therefore a curse is in order. I shall hex the people’s lives who move in here. Again, I know it’s not their fault, but hey, lots of things happen to us that we didn’t ask for. I shall damn them with illness, depression, and financial woes.

I asked Tom and he assured me we can’t lose the house once it’s built because we’ll own it outright. Therefore, no one could possibly have a hold on it in any way or start a chain reaction that ultimately causes us to end up losing it. This was comforting to know because if there’s one thing in life I’ve learned it’s that if there’s a way for people to control your fate, they will. They may not always have those exact intentions and they may be affecting it in an indirect kind of way, but still, if they can seal your fate in the slightest of ways, they will. This doesn’t mean we’re totally exempt from someone burning it down, but I think that’s a lot less unlikely as opposed to other events that could cause us to lose it.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2004
After 5 hours at the swap meet, we did astonishingly well. We made $185! Just the old Nintendo alone was $40 and we sold half of the CDs so that was like $75 more right there. One guy, like me, was a huge Linda Ronstadt fan and bought 8 CDs, all of her. One woman bought about 25 CDs. Her daughter kept saying, “Ok, that’s enough, that’s enough,” and I was like – will you shut up!

They surprised us with what they bought and didn’t buy. We didn’t expect things like the Barbies, CD cleaner, kites, and thermal cups to sell. We were surprised the lamps didn’t go, along with the boom box. Tom was right in predicting that the old sewing machine would sell, though, and that the two porcelain dolls wouldn’t.

Half the people spoke Spanish and there were these guys who knew no English that asked me if the old TV was cable-ready. When I told them it wasn’t, they were no longer interested, making me wonder if perhaps I should’ve played dumb to their Spanish. Tom says they wouldn’t have gotten it anyway.

Most people’s merchandise, from what I could see, was clothes and jewelry. I got a beautiful bracelet for $2 from the same lady I bought the wind chimes from. It has a cluster of pink glass stones in the center of it and clear glass stones on the side. It’d make a good doll choker as well.

I also got a gorgeous shiny shirt that has these sequin-like things on it for $5, but I’m going to either put it on the mannequin whenever I get around to getting one which should be this year or use it to make clothes for the fashion dolls. Maybe I’ll send it to Ricki to make a dress for that Chari doll. Then again, I doubt I’ll do that as I don’t know if there’d be enough material to make something for 23” Chari.

We sold all but one of the 5 quilts we had, a hand vacuum, one of the coffeemakers, coffee filters, a mirror, a stuffed rabbit, a jewelry box, some duffel bags, some knickknacks, the little palm plant, plus a purple and yellow flower arrangement, and what else? I wish I’d taken notes on what we sold, as well as bags for people to put stuff in so we wouldn’t have to give up one of the boxes that would’ve been good for moving.

They came at us the instant we got there, barely giving us time to set up. I had to keep my eye on the table while he kept his eye on the truck, which became a table as well since we ran out of room on the 3 tables we took.

A few women bought quite a bit, but they became obnoxious after a while because they were distracting and getting in the way of other customers.

All the old plates sold, and I think a couple of glasses did, too. I was surprised the really nice cut glasses didn’t sell. We did sell candle holders, candy dishes and little things like that. The most shocking thing to sell was Giselle’s head. Another vendor bought it and put it on his display table. Same with a small clock he got from the bank. The guy next to us got it, but it never sold and he packed it in right before we did. I was surprised none of the cat and dog mugs sold, but they did get some pots, all 3 drawing books, the English/Spanish dictionary, a purple puff scrubber with a handle on it, an old cactus pitcher, and some old silverware. They also got the 3-tier candle that gave off soot. Only one bag of incense sold and that was the brown sugar. I agree with Tom that we probably would’ve sold more had we had burners and maybe even one burning.

One of the women was telling another woman, “Hey, I saw your son in court the other day.” My first thought was that she worked for the courts, but nope. She got in trouble herself for writing bad checks.

The kids didn’t get too obnoxious, though there were a couple of kids running around screaming for a while next to us.

The weather was perfect. A little chilly to start with, but the winds were calm. We both got sunburns on our faces. We forgot to put sunscreen on before we left.

It only costs $2 to set up. The swap meet is held in a huge lot by a convenience store with a fast-food restaurant next to it. I used their bathroom once and got us some soda and munchies.

I had to stop saying things were a “quarter” when someone would pick up a 25¢ item, and tell them it was “25¢” instead because they couldn’t understand my Eastern accent.

Some people had some weird stuff there, like an old parking meter. And I thought a mannequin for decoration was rather eccentric!

With the money from our surprisingly wonderful sales, I’m getting Dalene (finally) and he’s getting a jewelry-making kit. We have tons of pieces of turquoise that his mom gave us years ago. We just might be able to generate a few grand from that alone. Besides, jewelry might be a good thing to sell anyway simply because everybody loves and wants it.

I won’t be as hard-pressed for a home business once we get out of the huge house payments, but it’d still be nice so that Tom could work for us and not for someone else, and not have to worry about write-ups, firings or layoffs.

Anyway, we’re both very happy that we did so well.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004
I forgot to mention that the other day I received mail inviting me to a convention in Washington DC to receive a silver bowl with my name on it for outstanding amateur photography of 2004. However, even if we had the money to make the trip, Washington DC is not an appealing place to go and I don’t need a bowl. We were laughing at how they said they’d want me to give a speech on how I came to take the picture. I can just imagine that! I’d be like, “Well, I complained against the people with the wrong connections that were the wrong color which ultimately led to me being framed and thrown in jail. Then, when I got out of jail, part of the probation required community service, which was in my case, scrubbing labels off of old wine bottles, so that’s how Little Buddy came to be Hiding Amongst the Bottles.”

Little Fella’s been pretty funny ever since I moved his cage to the opposite wall so it’d be out of the way of the area we painted. After he was out running around for a while he’d run to the corner his cage has always been in looking for his house. Today he searched and searched, then decided to just plop himself down in the corner anyway. We dragged the cage back over, and sure enough, he hopped right on in it.

I’ve been calling the other one Baldilocks. His poodle-like fur is really thin.

We’re done painting in the living room and in my office. We decided not to add clouds to the office wall because it really doesn’t look all that great. I think this sponge would be better for making colorful splotches, but I’m not going to work that hard and spend that much money so someone else can live with it.

The window’s also been replaced, so that leaves just the bathroom and retreat to paint, plus tidying up outside a bit more. We’ll probably also take the wet vac and vacuum the sand out of the toilet tanks.

I was right and Tom was wrong. Coming to the end of week two, it’s still obvious I’m not going under 127. However, with my amount of muscle, age and height, 127 is an ok weight. I’m going to stick to the hourly workouts, but I’m going to bump my calories up to 1500 a day.

I’m afraid my February ticket vibes were nothing but false vibes. Especially since one of the Circle K stores isn’t selling Slingo tickets anymore.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2004
If I wasn’t convinced before that there’s a doll curse on me and that something likes to tease me with getting dolls, then I’d certainly be by now! I mean, I don’t fucking believe this shit! Now Ricki, who says she needs to kick herself in the rear, is saying the damn doll won’t be shipped till next Friday because she broke a hand and had to replace it. Why can’t I ever just order a doll and get it???

My first thought was that I wouldn’t get any more dolls from her, but no matter where I go, there’ll always be problems so I may as well get them from the cheapest place as long as they do a good job.

I got back in with Memolink as Lin S, but Tom still doesn’t think I’ll get anything from them. He’s now convinced they’re scammers. He thinks that site was deliberately rigged not to go away so they could use those who wracked points up as an excuse to get rid of them so that they’d have fewer people to give prizes to. We’ll find out sooner or later. They probably are scammers because as it is, I know I’ll never get the $15 certificate I ordered before they canned me, though I’ll still play along for now. Another reason why I won’t get it is this thing that doesn’t want me making money.

Speaking of money, I had a vibe saying we’d sell $67 worth of stuff on Saturday, but I don’t know. I don’t even know if I trust the vibes I had about winning on Slingo tickets this month.

A guy in Rhode Island won his mixed coins for $31, and soon we’ll be listing other things.

We ordered supplies today and this time we’re having them come via FedEx. I hope there are no delays or fuck-ups, I really do! We got $80 worth of stuff. Everything from 11” sticks, mini sticks, acrylic burners and wire pop-up burners, oils, big bags, small bags, and dipped angels.

We got the blue part of the mural wall done and most of the blue on the office wall. We still have to fill it in, add clouds to both walls, then tackle the bathroom and retreat.

Tom’s hoping a developer will buy this land because then it might be easier to let them deduct a couple of thousand dollars from the price so we can stay a couple more months and not be so pressured to find new land so fast. Land-splitting is a popular trend, so that’d be nice. Plus, I still worry the renters and the dogs and trash that they can’t get a lid on will deter potential couples and or families from wanting to live here.

I just hope there are no evil spirits awaiting me at the new place! No punishments or compensations. I’ll be damned if I’ll go to jail again for getting something I really want. I really believe that that was part of why God let them frame me; because I left the city. That and my fighting back against the blacks and Mexicans. Or trying to anyway.

Tom brought up a good question pertaining to the spirit that dwells here, and that’s how far does its territory extend? Is it possible that we would never have encountered it if we’d set the house on the other side of the wash, for example? Am I its only target? Or will it be a nuisance for anyone who lives here? Will it follow me if it is primarily after me?

Nonetheless, Tom thinks I’ll be happier in a different climate where I can be outdoors more often. I’m not indoors so much here solely because of the heat we have for most of the year but because of all the dogs running loose as well.

Paula’s last package went out yesterday. I realize it isn’t just a matter of whether or not I could ask her for a little money if we needed it that bothers me, but the fact that she didn’t take the initiative on her own to send any when she knew damn well we needed it and when she got thousands of dollars. I’m sure it’s all gone now, though, spent on that sick cock of hers. She can’t send me one single solitary letter without a favor in it. It seems the more I give, the more I get taken advantage of. I’ve certainly done way more than enough for the girl, so I’m just going to ignore her for a while.

My weight’s been hanging around the 127-pound marker. I’m really surprised I haven’t gone back up to the 130s, though not surprised I haven’t gone under 127 like he still thinks I will. If he ends up right, I’ll have to figure out why I lost the weight so I’ll know what to do when I go to lose weight in the future. My first guess will be the much-extended workouts. Before I got this exercise ball, I sure as hell wasn’t working out an hour every day, faithfully. The ball makes ab work much easier and more comfortable. Mary, who’s also heavily into working out, ought to try it once she’s out.

After I was the one who figured out how to remove the lower window that’s cracked which I laughed at Tom for, he took it out and is now in Casa Grande getting it replaced. That’ll be $30 the damn ghost cost us! They just better do it right if they don’t want to be the first to screw us over and not get away with it and have it be the first time I fight back and do get away with it.

Speaking of getting away with things, well, as Tom pointed out, if anyone would get caught, it would be us, so due to the fact that we have no business license yet, we’re going to put just a plain label on the bag with the fragrance name along with instructions so no idiots go lighting it like a candle. It’d be just our shit luck for some off-duty pig, maybe even the one that came out with the bullshit story, to nail us on some form of no-no while others got away with whatever, so we’re being extra careful.

I just hope I don’t run into that tale-telling pig, though to tell you the truth, I doubt I’d recognize him if I saw him. In fact, I’m sure I wouldn’t. I only saw him twice for a few minutes, and he was obviously as ordinary-looking as most guys are to me, or else I’d remember him. I just picture him as being the type to come up to me and boldly say, “Hi, Jodi. How ya doing? Remember me? I’m the one that arrested you,” in the way an old acquaintance would say, “Remember me? I helped build your house a few years back.”

I would completely come unglued if this happened, though I can’t imagine it happening. I know things have happened that I thought couldn’t or wouldn’t happen, but if all continues to go well, God will never again punish me with the blacks, Mexicans or anyone that was associated with them.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2004
I thought maybe, just maybe, today was the day and I would find myself at 126, but no. I’m 127½. I know I’ll never lose any more weight. The question is, do I maintain what I’ve got or let myself gain more? It’s just that if I let myself climb to 140-150, I may very well never be able to get back down to where I’m at now. My weight’s been elevated too long which is no doubt the reason I’m unable to lose the weight. Your body gets so used to being a certain weight after so long that it gets really hard to change it. Also, a lot of my weight is muscle. Even Tom agrees I don’t look more than 120 pounds. The only way to lose more weight from here would be to lose the muscle and I don’t want to do that. It’s also hard when each thing you eat puts a pound on you and you only lose 2 pounds in your sleep. So if I have popcorn, a sandwich, and a bowl of soup, that’s 3 pounds right there, and I’d only sleep off 2 of them.

They’ve been awfully trigger-happy for the last few days. I wonder why they started up all of a sudden after all this time.

Another Wednesday I don’t have to play report, though I doubt report days are still Wednesdays. I’m sure it’s changed by now along with a zillion other things.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2004
My allergies are acting up a bit, but so far I’m holding out on having to use the spray.

Yesterday we priced the stuff we hope to sell at the swap meet. Most of it is in 25¢ or $1 groups. I just hope it isn’t windy that day or something! We’ll also be hoping to sell about 5 bags of each of the 5 fragrances we have so far. Today we’ll order fruit, watermelon, grape, and chocolate oils to complete one of the variety packs, plus a 100-pack of dipped angels for me, along with bags and sticks. We want to make sure the curse has been lifted enough that we can sell it first before we go all out. Besides, we don’t have the money to do so right now anyway. We need to hang onto what we’ve got for the new land.

They had the perfect, and I mean perfect, deal online in northern AZ which is now where my vibes are strongly placed (in or near the White Mountains). There was a 37-acre lot that already had the dive on it which we plan to live in till we get our castle built. It was 1000 square feet which sure beats the 600-800 I was afraid we’d end up stuck in. This wasn’t on eBay either. Buying from eBay makes me a little nervous. It’d be just our shit luck to buy a piece of land, go on out to it, then find it doesn’t exist. It’s very unlikely, but unlikely things do happen, and knowing that God hates us enough to have something like that done to us, isn’t very comforting. I had to ask myself many times – are you sure God would let that happen?

Yes, he would, was the answer. And with no qualms whatsoever, so this is why we really have to look out for ourselves because we’re all we really have in that department. I’d like to think that God didn’t quite hate us that much, and he probably doesn’t, but you just never do know.

I heard a bunch of bangs yesterday afternoon that I thought were car doors at the new place in front. After so many of them, I realized that not even the freeloaders slammed that many doors when they’d set out on one of their many harassment campaigns. This was when it hit me that I was hearing gunshots, not car doors. I was surprised to hear them too, after so long without hearing them, and during the middle of the week, too. Tom said it sounded like target practice by the way they were firing so rapidly.

I still don’t have any bad vibes of anyone lurking about with evil intentions, so that’s good unless God’s keeping me from sensing them so I can be taken by surprise. As I said before, I just hope that if there is anyone with evil in mind, we’re out of here before they can act on it. I know better, though. If this were really the case, God’s going to make sure we’re right here where they can get at us.

I taped the bathroom in preparation for painting it. It’s just masking tape you use to edge along areas you don’t want painted.

As I told Tom, I think the best way to handle the broken windowpane in his office would be to remove it, then keep our mouths shut and hope it’s not noticed. If it does get noticed, all we have to do is say we weren’t aware of it. No one could peer into our brains and prove we really did know about it.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to moving, getting that over with and having more money as much as I’ll miss this house. I really hope it’s more remote. I want to live with nature, not people. If I want people, I can just go to the city. Most people are scared of remote, but I love that feeling of being the only ones around where we live. This is what I mean when I say God’s blessed me as well as cursed me. I have no fears. Absolutely no fears other than spiders, open heights and big dogs. Other than a few things, it’s like I lack the ability to feel fear, but I guess this is a good thing since fear is a negative emotion. The worst emotion, in my opinion, is depression, but still, I’m glad I’m so hard to scare!

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2004
Yesterday turned out to be a fun day. When we got to the swap meet, people were still setting up so it wasn’t crowded at all. Tom was right about most of the stuff being junk, but not all of it was. They had some good books and those wind chimes were there, too. I got a couple of them for $5, then for just $1, who should I find there but Midge herself! The very one I was going to try to get on eBay till I ran out of money. This is the one with the painted-on bikini like Lea’s only Midge’s suit is blue and Lea’s is purple. I think that of all Barbie’s friends as well as Barbie herself, the Midge doll has the best face. She was in very good condition for being used. I sponged off the few scuff marks she had on her, washed her hair with liquid hand soap, brushed out the knots, and she was as good as new.

As I told Tom, I think we can sell some things there, but I don’t know how much. At least I don’t have to worry about anything being too dumpy. I mean, they had old pots and pans there that made our old ones, which I had worried may be too beat up, look like they’re brand spanking new.

After we left the place we headed for Casa Grande and Whataburger’s drive-through. On our way back we stopped at a smaller swap meet just past the huge dairy farm where Tom got an old computer for its fan and a backup drive, and I got 4 paperbacks, 3 of which are true crime stories, 1 of which is a James Patterson book Mary said she read. She said I have a lot of James Patterson in me, so I figure he must write stuff I’d like.

Anyway, we got masking tape and are going to spend the week pricing stuff, along with doing more painting and ordering more supplies.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2004
Today we’re going to the swap meet. I’m looking forward to checking it out. Tom has a little cash in case I want a $3 wind chime or a book in Spanish, which according to him, may be all I’d want since their stuff is so crappy.

I’m still not under 127, but I haven’t jumped back up either. I’m kind of taking the day off today, though I haven’t yet decided whether or not I’m going to allow myself a day off once a week from exercising. The good thing about it is that I couldn’t pig out if I wanted to since my stomach has shrunk down to nothing. A plate of spaghetti alone made me feel like I was going to burst.

How I wish I could continue losing 4 pounds a month! But me, 119 in two weeks? I don’t think so! I still don’t know that I’ll ever get under 127.

We decided to readjust our variety packs a bit. We decided to have 5 sticks of 6 scents in each pack and charge $5 for those we add burners to and $3 for just the incense. I settled on the floral pack having jasmine, carnation, gardenia, magnolia, patchouli, and cedar, though cedar’s a tree. The fruits and sweets pack will include fruit, watermelon, grape, brown sugar, chocolate, and butter rum. The miscellaneous pack will have fast cash, baby powder, vanilla musk, puddy cat, hot love, and black magic.

We started painting the mural wall to see how bad it would smell. It didn’t smell bad at all. We first thought it was lousy paint and that we wouldn’t get an even finish, but as it dried up, it was just fine. We have finished it yet, though.

Next week is when he’ll probably be contacting a realtor, and I hope it’s a woman. I really do.

I also hope I receive notification that Haiku’s on her way! I’m getting tired of waiting for that damn doll, but you know how it is when I order dolls. There’s always some delay or problem.

Next weekend is when we go to sell at the swap meet. This should give us a good idea of just how cursed or not-so-cursed we are/will be.

The unexplained foul odors continue to come in spurts. It seems 8:30 AM is one of its favorite times. It makes me wonder - if it really is connected to whatever lurks about this land - if it was killed at that time or something.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 2004
Well, this is it. I’m now down to 127. The diet itself has gotten a bit easier because my stomach’s shrunk on account of not eating as much, but I still don’t know if I can lose any more weight. I’m going to be putting spells on like crazy! I doubt God would help me even if he did like me as I doubt he’d see an extra 30 pounds as being all that much of a crisis. So, I’m on my own to either succeed or not succeed at this point.

Tom’s been dieting too, having one sensible meal, plus two Slim-Fast shakes a day. Tomorrow, after we check out the swap meet, we’re going to go to Casa Grande for our meals at a drive-through, though at my height it may not be so sensible if I eat anything else, so I’m going to remember to eat only that. I’m going to get a kid’s meal at Whataburger. The chicken strips and fries. It’ll be close to 1000 calories, so I won’t have anything else but salad that day. The adult portions would simply be too much for me now after 5 days of eating so little.

Tom usually stops at the PO on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Today we’ll probably mail out Paula’s last incense package, and the last package ever for that matter. I haven’t heard shit from her. I’ll probably get drafts from Mary, though. She’s been on a roll with sending drafts every few days or so. She’s also been good with including letters, filling me in on her life and answering any questions, so that’s cool.

He finished my medical romance story yesterday and says it’s my best yet. I was surprised. I didn’t think that one was going anywhere. I mean, I didn’t think it was bad, but I didn’t think it was all that exciting either. Mary, who finds suspense really scary, just may think that one’s the best so far, too. She’s more of a romance person than a suspense person. At least she seems to be anyway. The Angel Eyes story, which I plan to tackle after I finish College Romance, should be more romance-like than anything else. I’ve already begun taking notes for that story.

We agree that it’s best not to tell potential buyers of this house about the sonic booms they’ll be in for. Most people sleep at night so they probably won’t mind them. It’s not like it’s every few minutes of every day that you hear them anyway. I mean, as much as I’d prefer to do without them myself, I’d much rather that than city noise. If they’ve never heard them before, they too, are going to be like what the hell? when they hear the first thunderous boom. I remember the first time I heard/felt it. I was asleep. Tom was working days. I thought someone broke into the house and I ran out of the bedroom ready to pounce. I felt like both an idiot and a very relieved person when I found no one there. The next thing I did was check to see if any shelves went down. When I found everything in its place I was really confused until Tom heard it, too. His first thought was that they were blasting a mountain somewhere. He didn’t realize right away it was sonic booms because he didn’t know they were allowed to do that over land, yet apparently, where there’s no ocean, they can fly.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2004
I decided to weigh myself today. I’m a little bummed to find I’m at 128 and have only lost 3 pounds. Tom says that losing 1-2 pounds a week is reasonable for me, whereas a 3-4 pound-a-week drop is more reasonable for him. He says that if I give it till the end of the month, I should get under that infamous 127. I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to get my hopes up.

All the information out there about dieting/fitness can be as confusing as all the different religions, and eventually you end up not knowing what to believe.

Tom had an excellent selling idea. The idea is to buy little things from eBay, then sell them at swap meets. Originally, he thought he might do it the other way around and buy stuff from swap meets to sell on eBay, but the swap meets are selling pure crap. Nothing but overpriced junk.

Harrah’s casino wants to do an interview with him on Monday concerning a job emptying the slot machines which he doubts he’ll get. I doubt it, too. I don’t sense it. He’s going to stick to his original plan, though, and not take any jobs unless they pay well. If he gets a good-paying job, we’ll relocate somewhere around here. If not, there’s no sense in him taking shitty-paying jobs just to quit in a month or two when we move. For now, we’ve got shitty pay for doing nothing, though we are going to make up several bags of incense and check out the swap meet this weekend. Next weekend is when we’ll probably start selling.

If only we could sell enough stuff, be it from here or at swap meets, to keep him from needing a regular job! We’re sick of working for others. We want to be our own bosses where we don’t have to worry about write-ups, firings or layoffs. It’s all going to hinge on the incense, and of course, fate. We can only try our best and then the rest is up to whatever’s meant to be.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2004
This is day 4 of having just 1 sandwich, 1 popcorn, and 1 Ramen noodle packet, along with my hourly workout, and I ask myself – why do I bother? I’m only going to lose a few pounds, then stop once I hit 127. Oh well. I should be able to at least maintain my weight this way. If not, maybe I’ll quit food altogether and just eat like maybe once a week or something like that. We’ll see. I still don’t think I have diabetes or a wacky thyroid because I have no symptoms, and of course I can’t count on any help from above.

Tom got cans of light blue and pale pink paint. The bathroom and retreat will get the pale pink and one office wall along with the mural wall will get the light blue. Then we’ll take a can of white paint that came with the house for touch-ups and do the clouds with that. We’re going to start on the bathroom later on this morning.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 2004
I slept miserably, though I’m awake enough to write. The Air Force woke me up twice today and so did the hunger pains. I was like please, please God, give me strength! And if you won’t, please, if there’s anything else out there that can help give me the strength not to succumb to this hunger, help me! So far so good. As far as getting boomed and vibrated awake; I’m just going to have to get used to that being a fact of life because any rural town not close to the ocean is going to have that. They’ve been flying like they were when we first moved in which means they’re probably not going to settle down till we’re about ready to move. You don’t get more than two days without them booming by these days!

In Mary’s draft that I got today, she speaks of being molested by her uncle Rick, Carolyn’s husband, and how many others have claimed to have been molested by him as well. Her sick, wimp of a mother wouldn’t believe her when she tried to tell her about it, Carolyn called her a liar, and then Carolyn’s own daughter, who was also molested, wrote Mary saying she was disgusted by her family trying to cover it up. She said Carolyn didn’t want him going to jail because she didn’t want to lose Rick’s army benefits.

So I’m reading this and I’m like, Mary, Mary, Mary. You mean to tell me that this uncle you say you’re still afraid of as a grown woman is the very one you still write to and speak with, along with his wife who protects him? How sad. How utterly sad. Is there ever going to come a day when she has enough self-respect to ask herself how can her aunt stay with him? How can she stand to even look at him? And how can she herself stand to associate with either the aunt, uncle or mother? I really think the best thing she could do when she gets out would be to grab that kid of hers and turn her back on the whole family except for Adam, then start over fresh. And she should stay single if she can’t stay away from the abusers. As I told her, I know for a fact that people like her mom, Jared and Rick never change, and if they do, it’s very short-lived. I truly believe from experience that the more we associate with people like that, the more they’ll just keep bringing us down.

And why isn’t Rick in jail? He belongs there with all the other little pervies, but no, God must protect him. Any mother who believes the word of others over their own child is no mother as far as I’m concerned, and her aunt, being the pervert protector that she seems to be from what I’m reading, is almost as bad as the pervert himself. This is why if I could give her any advice, I’d suggest she take the rest of the time she’s in that place to ask herself – are these the types of people she wants in her life when she gets out? Try to look at them as people, I told her, and put the shared blood aside for a minute. Then ask herself, do I like these people, really like them?

Had my father been a pervert, I’d have gotten the same reaction for telling my mother – rage and disbelief. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, had one of them killed me, the other would still be standing by them today as if it never happened.

Nonetheless, my life may not be perfect, but it sure does get better with age and I think hers will too, as long as she can get off her abusive-people kick. I think one of the biggest keys to being happy, or at least a lot happier, is who we associate with.

Mary’s right when she talks about how all forms of abuse can have such devastating effects. It seems it’s turned her into a frightened individual while it’s made me a very angry one. So much so that I still wish I’d handled Marty differently when he threatened me, and either kicked the shit out of him and shown him that he can’t threaten just anybody, or thrown a mock punch at him to get him to attack me so I could call the pigs and have him arrested, though this was the late 70s or early 80s, and with God as his protector, that’s not how it would’ve worked. The pigs would’ve blamed me for my own attack and told me they couldn’t do anything cuz Marty was “family.” With this fact in mind, he should’ve waited till I was stronger and braver and in my own apartment to make the threat where I’d have been, beyond a doubt, physically capable of making sure the sick fuck never again even so much as dared think to threaten anyone again.

Just like I was right about us not being able to make shit doing surveys, I was right about Memolink kicking us out for point-stealing. Those who clicked 25 points got their points taken away and those who clicked more got their membership terminated. I decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to let what happened with the freeloaders keep me from speaking my mind when I have something to say, so without the least bit of intimidation, I sent them a message saying that what they did was wrong. It was their mistake and we shouldn’t be the ones to have to pay the consequences for their own screw-up when they’re the ones responsible for their own damn site. They suck, I told them, and I plan to spread the nastiest word I can about them.

Let’s see them have the guts to put that in their testimonials!

See, this is why I wouldn’t seek revenge on the freeloaders even if I knew where the cowards were and had the opportunity to do so. I know God would only lead the pigs right to my door. I can’t get away with the piddliest of things like point-stealing, yet others can beat me, try to rape me, play with my head, rip me off, frame me, etc., and God help me should I try to fight back!

It’s okay, though, cuz I’m just going to sign up as Miss Jodina S as soon as we move and use my old Feisty Dawn address. For now, I’ve signed up with My Points which is identical to Memolink. In fact, they have the same Lucky Surf lotto, which as we’ve discovered, is not exclusive to Memolink. Anyone can play it and they don’t have to join any points program either.

My top favorite fragrances are angel, baby powder, black cherry, black Henry, black magic, black narcissus, booty call, brown sugar, butter rum, bump & grind, butt naked, carnation, cedar, chocolate, cranberry, Choctaws mono, escape, floor, fruit, fast cash, gardenia, grape, honey, honey musk, hot love, jasmine, love supreme, magnolia, majmua, morning mist, Nubian musk, patchouli, pear, puddy cat, pussy, rain barrel, sugar plum, sun moon stars, sweet musk, vanilla musk, watermelon, white diamonds, white linen.

There are still a few more I’d like to sample such as vanilla melon, cherry musk, cherry opium, cherry vanilla, patchouli rose, strawberry musk, and strawberry vanilla.

Later…

As I read on, I found that Mary’s aunt did acknowledge what happened, though it was thirty years too late. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that while it’s easy for me to call her a sick criminal herself for protecting Rick, what if I were in her shoes? What if Tom was guilty or accused of a crime – any crime? Would I turn him in? Absolutely not! So as wrong as she was, a part of me can relate to her.

Still haven’t weighed myself, but I know I’m still dropping. I doubt I’m under 127, though I’m probably right about that weight.

Yesterday was the first day in ages that I was stuck. I was shocked, though not too shocked as I always get stuck when trying to lose weight. I’m not worried about it anymore, though, because now I know that that doesn’t affect weight like I thought it did.

We cut tops off 2-liter soda bottles to air-dry the 200 or so sticks in that we made up to hopefully – hopefully – sell at a swap meet somewhere around here, and boy was our kitchen ever so fragrant! I even started getting a bit of a headache, the aromas were so potent, that I stuffed them in a cabinet. It’s too bad we’re not going to have the space to do that for a few years once we move.

I found out that the monthly giveaways they have at the incense place are for retail customers only.

At first I thought I wouldn’t bother with curtains, valances or any form of window coverings in “Dan’s dive,” as we call it since we’ll be in something similar to what he had. Then I decided to take some of the valances the house came with to use in the dive. It’ll be a sort of souvenir, too. Then, once we build our dream house, I’ll use the lacy valances I prefer.

Another piece of this house I’m taking is a spare scrap of carpet. We’ll use it as a doormat there and I’ll leave the ones that are here where they are.

Tomorrow’s a flight day, so I’m going to try to stay up as long as I can. That way I can also go out this Sunday without feeling too tired.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 2004
Amazingly, both UPS and the Air Force let me sleep today, though I woke up a zillion times for a second just because. Meanwhile, Tom got the water pump installed, and the truck’s running fine.

I just hope we can get out of here before the next thing breaks! It’s been since November, so we’re about due any minute for something else to break. If it could just hold out till after we’re gone, that’d be wonderful because we have so much going on right now.

Although I don’t want to weigh myself till next Sunday, I can tell I’m down to 128-129. In 1-3 days I should hit 127, then comes the critical part and that’s to see if I can keep it going and not jump back up like I always do when I hit down at 127. If something’s wrong, I really do want to know about it. That way I can decide whether or not I want to try to dodge the quackery while I try to get the problem fixed, or just live with it. That is, whenever the hell we’re insured again. My vibes are shifting, now saying he may not be working till after we’re moved, and that yes, we are going up into the mountains, but I don’t know what state.

The further we go, the more Mary and I may have to fly to see each other when she’s out which would mean staying overnight. I don’t know if she’d dig that idea any more than I would, but considering the fact that we spent 9 days and 8 nights locked in a tiny room together, I guess we could handle a night or two at each other’s houses.

Anyway, the appetite suppressants have been worthless and the hunger’s been intense. I realize that no matter what aids I use, at 1200 calories a day I’m going to be hungry anyway. Anyone would be.

This shitting twice a day has got me stumped. I deliberately cut out foods that make you shit more so I wouldn’t go as often, but it seems I couldn’t get irregular if I tried. I don’t know, maybe all the salad or the tea’s doing it. I have more tea in the winter. Besides, it’s something I can put in my stomach without the calories that my coffee creamer has. Even so, I wish my body would quit this shit-happy cycle it’s gotten on. If it’s not going to hurt me to go 4 or 5 days a week and if going every day isn’t going to help with my weight, then why bother? But twice a day? That’s a bit overkill! I’ve been going when I first get up, then again towards the end of my day.

Tom says there’s a virus going around. I guess someone with a grudge against Microsoft put out this thing that sends out tons of emails. There’s a reward being offered, and I jokingly told Tom that it’s too bad we can’t say he did it, turn him, collect the reward, then bust him out of jail!

Memolink is also screwed up big time. We can’t even get into their site. My first thought was that they banned us for point-stealing and right after I legitimately earned a $15 certificate because something doesn’t want me making money and because Tom and Jodi can’t get away with shit, but the more Tom investigated, the more it appears to be a problem on their end.

Not surprisingly, my decorative plates didn’t sell. Of course not. Why should my stuff sell? Tom’s thinking of relisting them now that he knows what to say when describing them which he says he didn’t do the first time around. When I asked him what he meant by that, he said that since people are even dumber than he thought, it’s really all in how you describe your items. For example, one of the people who bought his coins gave him positive feedback saying that the coins were exactly as he described them. Meanwhile, he never did describe them in the first place. You gotta make people feel they’re getting a deal and like they’re taking advantage of you, as he says.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2004
Currently, it appears that the best way to make the incense is going to be to let it soak for a day and to let it dry for a few days. It seems the more we let them dry, the less smoky they are and the more potent the fragrance is.

Today I got the pink fairy in the Fairytopia series, so that’s two down, one to go. I haven’t seen the blue one yet, though I’ve only been to Walmart twice since they came out. They say that blue is most people’s favorite color, so maybe that’s why there haven’t been any blue ones.

Yesterday I had an average of 2000 calories and 20 minutes of working out, so that earned me a jump up to 132. Starting tomorrow, I’ll drop back to 1200 cals and do an hour of exercise. What else can I do? Look at my outstanding talent for gaining weight as a gift from God and just go with it? Try to rack up all the pounds I can and call each one of just another one of life’s many blessings?

Speaking of God, every so often, like maybe once a year or so, I pray to him for help with something I’m stumped on, such as not being able to lose weight for the last couple of years, just in case he decides to listen to me for a change and help me. I know better than to count on it, knowing that I wouldn’t have gotten so big in the first place if he didn’t want me to. Besides, I don’t think he cares what the hell I weigh. Still, I got on my knees, and just like most people cross themselves, I did my little Star of David and asked for the strength to stick to the diet plan, to lose weight and keep it off, and not be given a new problem in exchange should I miraculously lose weight and keep it off for more than 5 minutes.

Tomorrow’s the day the prep work begins. We’re going to start with doing a tape and texture job where the cut bathroom panels are and where the strip is that we popped off to put the mural up. We’ll also fill in big holes. Not tiny holes made by tiny nails, but places where we had screws holding up shelves.

I’ll probably be the other way around this time. The last move was a bitch to prep the old place, yet moving into this house after we were done playing trailer/hotel was easy because there was so much space. This time around, prepping to move should be easy, while moving should be a bitch what with moving into an old dive ¼ the size of this place. I’ll have to remind myself that it’s only temporary every time I get frustrated with the peeling linoleum floors and the years of caked-on dirt, rust, grime and calcium that just won’t go away no matter how hard I scrub. In fact, I better enjoy baths in my big clean garden tub before I have to take them in a tub with soap rings dating back to before the release of Charlie’s Angels!

I erased the penciled outline of the pink ballerina silhouette on the wall by the closet and scrubbed the badly faded pink areas. I made it almost invisible. I’m sure the buyers won’t notice. Besides, this is likely to be a kid’s room, so it won’t matter as much as it would if there were discolorations in the kitchen, den or living room. Then, we’ll do the same skyscape on the wall where Patrice and the playboy’s silhouettes are.

It’s maddening out there right now with the damn dogs. I don’t know if they got into a fight or what, but I do know that Arizonans can’t keep their dogs under control and to themselves worth shit. Especially out here.

Later…

The sun has set, so off goes the dogs. Tom shooed some off the land today, then he just shooed another one barking in front of the house. Maricopa’s dogs are lucky we’re not staying here because I swear I’d shoot them all if we couldn’t get fences!

Our vanilla extract and butter-pecan experiments were a bust. They wouldn’t even light. Now he’s trying to mix cooking oil with mesquite leaves which I’m sure will also be a bust. The uncut butter rum is good, though, and I’m thinking maybe we’ll save a little money, time and work by just doing all uncut sticks.

Got 1 number.

Tom checked out the swap meet which he says was a zoo. He says they were selling major crap and that it wasn’t moving too well because they were asking too much. So, he figures we’ll have an easier time selling our stuff cuz we have nicer crap and we can lower our prices. He’s been researching eBay and finding a lot of crap for sale there too, so we might sell even more stuff that way. I’d prefer to avoid the zoo and do a yard sale here, but then we wouldn’t get as many people other than the neighbors. Next weekend, he wants to bring me to the swap meet to see if I can get any vibes, then we’ll take it from there.

Meanwhile, there’s no reason the water pump shouldn’t be here tomorrow so he can finally get the truck back up and running. The damn thing’s been sitting in Phoenix since Friday afternoon.

I still can’t believe no one’s moved in yet in front, and I also still can’t complain either. I’m hoping we make it out of here before they do arrive.

Tom showed me the basics of our site. I like its layout. He took me to the links to the java games, rat pics, doll pics, desert pics and wildlife pics that I’ve taken. He’s now uploading it as we figured that February 1st was a good time to start. The next step will be taking pictures of the incense. People like to see what they’re buying, so we’ll take pictures, but still keep a little mystery there. If they know they can buy the stuff themselves and make it themselves, they won’t want to get it from us.

Because ours is a free site as opposed to one with a monthly fee, I have to watch what I say. I can say “I got this particular doll at Paradise Galleries,” but I can’t add that I had to fight tooth and nail to get it and that their service sucked so bad that I quit buying from them after a while.

The prepping began today, too. We puttied up the panels in the bathroom. Tomorrow we’ll sand it down, then it’ll be ready to paint.

Our ghost is at it again. I heard footsteps behind me, but when I went to turn around, no one was there.

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Last updated July 16, 2024