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I write for myself so I don’t care if I sound pathetic.

I am feeling quite hopeless today but I am sure you are all sick of hearing about it… Jacob keeps getting mad at me when I talk about it, so I guess I just need to keep it to myself.

Tomorrow Jacob is gone all day again tomorrow for another self-enrichment event and I am so so so sickly jealous. I actually feel knots in my stomach.

I love my kids more than anything but I didn’t think being a mom would feel so lonely and empty.

I just feel like that’s all anyone thinks I am… but I am an individual too. everyone has lost me, I am the only one who hasn’t lost myself. It would be nice if I had, then maybe I wouldn’t feel this way. I honestly wish being a mom was my identity, because it would be SO much easier.

He keeps telling me to go do something but I am tired of being alone, and baby needs fed often. I feel like there isn’t a solution right now, and it’s frustrating me.

Last updated October 17, 2014