Counting…and Counting…and Counting Calories in Healthy Bites

Since learning about my family’s history, I have been determined to make a real effort to take care of my health. It has been on the horizon for years now. I’ve known about my maternal side of the family suffering from heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. Yet, since connecting with my younger aunt, HM, and her telling me more health issues our family has, I am now back to putting my health as first priority.

Four years ago, I started a journey to count calories. I was not good at it when I started in 2010. But a few year later, I became very good at it. It was a pain in the ass. Just about everyone I know HATES counting calories and will not do it.

But from my own experience, it worked. Basically, seeing what I was eating and how many calories I was consuming…and how many calories I was burning really fueled me to become healthier and drop sizes. Looking back on it, I should have not stopped no matter what got in my way. Yes, it is meticulous and tedious, but it works for me.

At the time, Daily Plate was a site that Rupert discovered in an online forum he belongs to that he sometimes posts…and reads on a regular basis I mention keeping tracking of my food, and he suggested I join Daily Plate.

Daily Plate, at the time, was a part of Livestrong. Now, the site is called Livestrong, but it still has “the Daily Plate” there. Anyway, I returned to the site this past Tuesday. What was the breaking point?

As I wrote a few days ago, my cousin who was born the exact same month, same day, and same year as I was…she had an allergic reaction. Now, she is brain dead. What happened was she had a reaction to a foreign allergen, and she yelled out for help. When the medics arrived, they tried to put a tube in her mouth to give her oxygen. As many of you know, getting oxygen to your brain is absolutely critical. She suffered from lack of oxygen to her brain which affected her brain activity greatly.

Aunt HM revealed to me that FF was not in great health. Not in great health at 33. Her death made me realize this is a serious wakeup call for me…and should be for the rest of my family. So far, all the members of my family who have died: my grandmother, my aunt ETF, FF’s brother and my cousin DF, and now, FF….they’ve died of not taking care of themselves properly. Not exercising, not maintaining a good healthy weight, and just not taking care of themselves.

This is haunting for me. I am sure it is very haunting for HM. My grandmother adopted FF and DF because ETF did not want to take care of them. HM, FF, and DF are not only had an aunt-niece-nephew relationship, but they also had a sibling relationship. This must hurt HM greatly, and she cannot express it. I know it hurts me because I remember all those times where I was envious of them. It appeared they had the perfect family because grandmother was raising them with my step-grandfather, and her husband then, LS.

However, as I’ve become older, I come to realize no family is perfect. And the experiences that Aunt HM has been sharing with me, nonetheless, proves that. DF and FF were deeply hurt by ETF’s abandonment which caused them to self-destruct without even knowing. The raw pain of abandonment never goes away and can eat your alive, literally, if you let it. Looking back on it, I remember them as being lovely children. However when you are a Flem, I have come to realize that my family are highly creative and emotional people. No one taught our family…all of us how to express that creativity. Because of this…because of being different and not knowing enough about who we are, all of us have made choices that have caused us more problems and more pain.

If I have learned anything this week is that FF did not want to leave her children. From what HM says, she loved those children. She did not know she was going to die and because of not having great health and not knowing that her poor choices would take her life, it makes this very hauntingly sad.

For me, it makes me realize I need to action and keep the focus. I believe if anything I need to make sure I have the most optimum health. In order to do that, I have act now like I did several years ago. This is serious. If I want to have a healthy life and live a long life to olden age, I have care for myself in all aspects of her my life.

First and foremost, I’ve decided to start slow and steady because that turtle wins the race.

On Tuesday, I went back to the Livestrong site and started counting calories again. Overeating in my family is a problem. It is not an indulgence, and it is not something to sweep under the rug for me because I am different and not obese like them. No, I have learned that I am in much of jeopardy as they are/were. I have to learn from my family mistakes and do better. They are no longer here. I believe they would want me to do better and be better and help the rest of the family. I cannot do that if I am not at my healthiest at all times.

Food is my issue as well, and I’ve been in somewhat denial about it. Blasé way, I have the mindset of that adolescent/teenage girl who could eat anything she wanted and was still fit. However, I am not that girl anymore. That image I’ve been hanging on to…is an image that could cost me serious health issues in the future. That girl is a part of me, but for this time and for right now, I am not that girl anymore. I am 33, and I still have good health. But it is not GOOD ENOUGH when you come from a family who has all kinds of ailments tied with the food that we eat and not being active.
Again, first, I need to really take the skills I learned four years ago which I started honing in two years ago….and use them again to keep me at excellent health.

First thing is I have to count calories. It is going to suck, but it will suck worse if I end up in the hole…and have something bad happened to me which I could HAVE PREVENTED ages ago if I had taken it seriously at the time. It is called PREVENTIVE measures.

The counting calories will do this: first, it will show me HOW MUCH food I am eating and WHAT KIND of foods I am eating. I am already aware that I crave sugar a lot, but I am about to wean that down. Livestrong Daily Plate, like it has done in the past, will show me what kind of food I am eating…and keep me on track with how much food I can eat.

Now, I am going by the normal 2,000 calories allotment first. Basically, in a normal diet, you are supposed to have 2,000 calories a day with the exception that everything is balanced. So far, I’ve been doing really good with coming under 2000 calories because I’ve been watching what I eat and recording it…and looking at the calories throughout the day.

So, since Tuesday, I have been under 2,000 calories. For several weeks now, I’ve been trying to practice smaller portions. My problem all resorts from childhood with my slight overeating. When I say slight overeating, I mean I don’t overeat huge amounts of food compared to some individuals, but I do overeat because I 1) think that I am supposed to eat all my food and not have it good to waste 2) I am supposed to get a lot of food because I don’t think it will ever be enough (it’s called food hoarding), and 3) I will eat sometimes when I am not even hungry because I am bored. What I meant by not taking this serious as I did four years ago is….
What I think what I am doing is not as bad as other people compared to me. However, what I am doing is NOT good for me. Due to my 5’2 ½ frame, I cannot really carry an extra fifty pounds even though I am…it is not really giving me that much trouble. But in due time, as the years pass, it will give me trouble. And my knees will definitely suffer from it. It may not affect me badly now, but it will affect me in 20 years.
One of the things I need to learn is to manage my food wisely and to eat healthy and make good choices. It does not mean I got to give up my favorite foods…it just means I need to practice portion control when it comes to eating them.
And so far, I feel really good about myself since starting this Tuesday. I feel like I am on the right track.

Once I get my food situation—counting calories and practicing good portion control habits—then, I will incorporate exercise. I will start with trying to burn 200/300 calories three to four times a week.

Once I master that, I will return to the Jillian workouts and try to being with easier levels. The pattern I noticed in the past is that I will do the complicated stuff, but at the end, I cannot stick with it. So, I am trying something new because I think this may have a lasting impression on me.

This is not going to be easy, but it has to be done. I think if I am consistent with everything in my life, I will be the size I need to be…and I will be a better person and get all the things I wish for .

Alright, let’s do it, Team!

Cheers,
S