Stuff And Things in Current Events

I cannonballed into my therapy session yesterday. I didn’t waste any time booking an appointment after my consultation. The session was intense. I didn’t expect it to be and we haven’t even gone deep yet. We streamed it because I didn’t want to bus in the rain. He wants to see me in person next session because he has an exercise that will measure my PTSD. He would prefer to be there in person for me when we do that.

On Thursday, I felt haunted by a phantom. I missed two buses and I had to take a different route. I had to walk a block to get to class. I saw a little boy, all alone, carrying a teddy bear bigger than he was. He was running around in front of a house. He couldn’t have been more than 5 years old. He had a mullet. He was First Nations. He stopped on the sidewalk as I walked by. He hid most of his face behind his teddy bear. He kept one eye on me and stared into my soul. He had a shy smile, I could tell. I felt like I was looking at myself when I was his age. Mullet and all. A specter of my youth. His neighbors were keeping an eye on him, thank god. I was so flustered. There is no good area in my city.

Who did that child represent? Who I was when I was just a kid, right before I wasn’t just a kid anymore.

I spoke with my ND yesterday as well, my naturopathic doctor. We are going to do the HCl challenge again. This time with a supplement that does not contain peppermint. HCL is hydrochloric acid. We are trying to measure how low my acid levels are. This is attributed to my protein deficiency. I maxed out on the amount I’m supposed to take. The peppermint might have complicated the picture. I should have felt discomfort. I think I need to explain to him that I am good at physically suffering. If I was experiencing discomfort, I might not have noticed.

My friend’s partner is a veteran. He has a government prescription for CBD oil. From before it was legal. He doesn’t use it but he doesn’t want to cancel it because it will be hard to get it back. It’s really strong stuff, he claims. It was made before it was legalized. He gave me 5 bottles of it yesterday. I wish I could send some to a buddy in Asutralia, I don’t know what the laws are on that. I am set for the rest of the year. It would be for more but I am sharing it with my roommate.

Did you know that if you write reviews on Amazon for sex toys that you purchased, companies will reach out and offer you free ones to review? I have my first free on the way. They will send more after I review it. I just got another letter in the mail from another company. I’m an influencer now, apparently.

I had my nephew’s birthday party today. My sister drove into town for it. She brought her baby. I spent my afternoon entertaining the kids. I’m exhausted. This is what I quit smoking for. Why I started to take my health seriously. T’was quite quaint. There was a funny moment with the baby, 9 months old. My sisters are twins. There was a moment where she got confused. She was clingy to her mother all day. When her aunt walked by she freaked out. She reached over to her to be held. Then she freaked out again after she realized that she transferred to the wrong arms. She figured it out and didn’t make the mistake again.

I feel emotional this evening. It’s all over the map. I took some CBD oil, I’m going to rent the second Dune movie. I’ll rewatch the first one first, maybe. I wasn’t that impressed with the first one. I just don’t want to do anything this evening.

I feel some animosity toward my roommate today. Same old shit. I cleaned the entire apartment this morning. After I came home from the gym. She slept through most of it. I even got the groceries. All I left for her was the recycling to take out. She didn’t touch it. She left her dirty dishes beside the sink for me. She’s getting the full AirBNB experience living with me. I was thinking about the house she is aiming to rent. When her cousin finishes renovating his house he is going to rent it to my roommate. She invited me but I don’t want to take care of a house. Her cousin is going to regret it. It is going to get infested. What could she possibly need a house for anyway? She owns nothing. She lives out of storage totes. She refuses to buy anything. It’s going to be an empty filthy house. She also thinks she can take on the responsibility of a cat as well. I’m sorry but the last cat she took care of died on her watch. She was gone for six weeks in November because she was house-sitting/dog-sitting. She leaves for work at 7 AM and comes home before 9 PM because she goes to her boxing gym 7 days a week. Those dogs got neglected.

Anyway, on with my evening. Tomorrow is going to be a long one. I’m chaining myself to my desk to study like my life depends on it.