Very hot headed in Age 36

I don’t know how long I can keep going. At this point my job is giving me a bit of stress. Boss says we can’t do a certain thing though the intentions behind it were done innocently. Ehh, Wrong. Can’t do that. Ok. Can’t really argue. She’s boss you know? Just nod and smile. Then you move on to wife life. I have a husband who’s hot-headed and stomps around angry all the time. Sure there might be reasons behind it, but must you always be so volatile and irrational? You’re kids are seeing your behavior, I feel your negative aura that makes me shrink, and you just seem so unapproachable. Then after the kids are down to bed you want sex? Yeah, I’m turned on. Come here stud. No. Eff off with your temper tantrum. Just so you all know, to give some perspective here, he’s the type of guy who in a rage will smack something off the bed just so he has somewhere to lay down. Will he pick that up later? No. I do. Does he ever regard me in that? No.

Moving on, my children are lovely. I love them and I wouldn’t t trade them for the world, except maybe another wife around the house to help with the cleaning. One thing they never emphasize as you make your family is that as the kids get older, the workload increases. One thinks that when they are babies it a lot. Diapers, laundry, feedings…ho ho ho. Let me me tell you! It gets worse as they’re older. There are more dishes, though now I use the dishwasher, there is way more laundry with no one to help you fold or put away. (My little ones are 6 and 3). There is more to put away around the house with their toys. Now granted, hubs does tell me to make them put the stuff away. I do falter in that. So I will own it, but still. He doesn’t help. If you’re not going to do the chores, fine. Just don’t make my job harder. Don’t give me more work.

Lastly, this one is two fold. Let me start by emphasizing that I EFFING HATE COOKING. I have come to hate it. I have come to despise it. I am looked at as the sole responsible for providing food. I have to think up some plate, prep it, cook it, serve it as I will eat last, and then clean up after that. More to note, I follow recipes, I follow videos on how to make food. Shouldn’t be hard right? Wrong. I can’t seem make anything taste good. I feel so useless as a mother and wife in that regard.

I have to take on a task that is daily, sometimes twice a day, and its a task that demoralizes me. Its a task that makes me feel stupid, useless, and dejected. Having said that so you all are on the same page with me, the hubs said he was hungry closer to 745pm. Cool. I thought I’ll make him a good sandwich. Mind you, he said this as a comment. I don’ t think he fully intended on me making him anything, but I did. I made a good sandwich. It had bacon and the works. I did that with him in mind. Because I love him, because I want to fulfill a need he has. I look for ways to make his life easier, to try to make him happier. I wonder if he does the same for me? There is providing, which he does, then there’s actions that show consideration for the partner. Gotta say, I’m not feeling that.

And again, he wants sex after the kids are down with all this marinating in my head. Yeehaw cowboy, let me ride you. I don’t know if its a vacation that I need. I don’t know if its just time away from the family and routine, but I need something to change with Mr Angry-always-moody-woe-as-me-grumps. Seriously for a guy that hates victim mentality, he can give them a run for their money.