yes but they *chose* to do what they did. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

rapists I mean. a lot of them. they chose to rape us. [I mean some don’t. some might not have much of a choice. i’m 70 - 90% sure the first guy didn’t].

and that’ll really fuk you up.

but we don’t willingly choose to be raped [well er obviously it wasn’t willing that’s what makes it what it is]. yes we all could’ve made better choices prior to it happening. but that doesn’t mean we deserve that. cause we don’t no one does.

yeah but that’s my point. is I could’ve made better choices [like I said for the life of me I don’t remember what else happened that day] and I didn’t.
I don’t know. what people knew about rape back in 2004. they for all I know might’ve thought the same thing I did until I experienced it in a different way from what I thought it was and that. changed things. and then it’s like ‘oh so there’s more than one way to...........oh..........’.

I mean I didn’t. like ‘fight him off’ [well ok so he wasn’t actually ‘on’ me] or anything. but it doesn’t mean it’s ok or I wanted it or anything it just means. that I didn’t do much about it. and I didn’t bc I didn’t know and bc he wasn’t on me. and so that’s another thing that made it harder for me to realise that it was. um. that.