Social in Current Events

I’m hungover today. The guilt will hit me later. I feel like I cheated myself but I shan’t punish myself for a good time. I wasn’t going to drink but I felt peer pressure. All of my friends, who don’t drink much either, were drinking. My roommate drove so that I could drink. NBD.

Alex & Bruce had their wedding social last night. The girls and I went. So did my roommate and I brought my sister. We all went to high school together. I am so happy for Bruce. When I started my healing journey, I abandoned all my cluster B friends like ugly children. Bruce barely made the cut. Her life was heavy. It was dragging me down. I didn’t give up on her. I was supportive. I knew she would find her way. One day she turned it all around for herself. She was on a mission. This energy is what I live for. She was an inspiration. Then she met Alex. Alex is amazing. I was worried that this was going to be another dismal situationship. It was not. Alex is a healer. She works with families of missing and murdered First Nations people. They’re so good for each other.

I ran into Curtis at the social. He is my cousin. He goes by Celine now. He legally changed his name. He is a transvestite. Non-binary if you’re a lefty. Two-spirited if you’re First Nations. He goes by two-spirited. We know that I stand with reality. Sometimes he wants to wear a dress, sometimes he doesn’t. I helped him come to terms with this. Right after that, he disappeared and I let him. He was my childhood best friend. However, he is from Never-Never Land. He is an Aries that doesn’t grow up. He is a party monster. When I invited him over to visit, when I was staying with my sister, he brought cocaine. That was the last straw. When I tried to reconnect with him, 7 years later, he was exactly the same. He thinks he is a completely new person but it’s just his name. He showed up for a visit with other people to try and throw a party. I don’t want to get into it. Last night he was personable. He was with a friend that is 10 years younger than him. Everybody else his age is an adult.

People kept complimenting me on my outfit. I knew it would get me a little attention. There was only one guy at the social that I found attractive. He smiled at me and started to approach me but someone grabbed him and pulled him away. My friends did the exact same thing to me. Nobody knew. I was hoping to run into him again but that didn’t happen. Oh well.

Before the social, I was feeling down on myself. My insecurities hit me all at once. I wasn’t alone. Everybody was feeling insecure. We’re not young and supple anymore. We’re all fat and sassy now. Ok, Toni and I have never been fat.

Speaking of fat, I am enjoying my flat stomach. I quit wheat, as we may remember. My ND (Naturopathic Doctor) has my diet very restricted. I broke it last night with the alcohol. It didn’t even occur to me that beer is made of wheat. I’m going to have cheat days whatever comes. I miss bread but I don’t miss the bloating even more.

That CBT therapist replied to me. He is taking patients. I will reach out and get that ball rolling. I can’t fix anything with the same mind that created the problems. Doing things my way will only lead me back to ground zero. I’m too me.

Anyway, I’m just killing time before my hair appointment. I’m so bummed out about my thinning hair. It has only gotten worse. Rapidly. It is what it is. The girls brought their men last night. I told Toni about how beefy Andrew is. He’s our age, nobody looks like that at our age. He is addicted to the gym. He also has his juvenile hairline, that bitch. He’s shy for a Libra. Astrology must be broken. He probably has Pisces in his chart. I saw a side to my sister I hadn’t seen before. I invited her to get her out of the house and be around adults. She had a meltdown before leaving her house, she was insecure about her weight gain. She and her husband don’t fit their clothes. She was funny last night. She was in full Capricorn mode for that. My sisters are twins, they’re both Capricorn Suns and Risings with Aquarius moons. My mother lucked out with 3 Capricorns. My brother is a Sagiterrorist. My Scorpio Moon was hell on heels for her though. My mother is an Aquarius with a Capricorn rising. I can’t remember her moon.

I’m rambling. On with my day then. It’s going to be a beautiful day out. I’ll be studying all day once I get back from my hair appointment. After I cry about my haircut, of course. I should just come home and take selfies like a normal person. I remember when I had no selfie control. Anyway! Ta