100% Honesty in Whatever Will Be Will Be

So, I’m not even adjusting the privacy setting on this entry. It is PUBLIC. And, as it is being written on my home PC… typos are expected as this is the same keyboard I was bitching about 3 years ago. SO.... a keyboard over 10 years old (as this is) may certainly have a lot of typos.

Where I last left off, Hermia had tested positive for Strep. I assumed I would as well. I went to the walk in clinic during my lunch and, on my way out, was stopped by other attorneys asking me if I was going to get lunch with them. I stated that Hermia had tested positive for Strep, so I was going to get tested… but doubted I would return to the office.

I went to the Walk In. They were EXCEPTIONALLY busy. EVERYONE mentioning symptoms of Strep, RSV, Covid, or Flu. I was seen and put through the tests. I was told that I had high blood pressure but that the Strep Test came back negative. THEN they said the test that THEY did was only 80 percent accurate so they would send it to the Hospital for further testing. All things considered, I figured.... their testing sucks, I have strep, I’m not going back to work. And decided to stay home for the rest of Friday.

At 8 pm Friday night, I was called by the hospital and told that THEIR test came back positive for Strep (of course it did) and that I should quarantine for 24 hours after getting my RX and taking the first pill.

I texted Hermia all of this as it greatly impacts our weekend plans.

Here is where I would have liked to stop the report. I told my SICK girlfriend that I, too, am SICK, and that is the end of it. It is, sadly, not the end of it.

Today (Saturday) I was to take Hermia and Brad to a Library “Introduction to ComicCon” thing and then a birthday party at Ninja University for Brad.

So I started today by texting Hermia:
“I am doing okay. Probably not okay enough for the Con- not okay enough for social and walking around.”
SHE said
“Not sure I am feeling ok enough for Con either, if I’m honest. That birthday party is at noon if you think you’d feel good enough to drive us over? We don’t have to stay, just need to file a waiver.”
I said:
“Yeah, I could throw on a mask and drive if needed.”
SHE said:
“You don’t need to wear a mask with us. And with any amount of antibiotics in your system, I think it is okay for you not to mask in public. But up to you. I need to see if the waiver is available on line or in person only.”
LATER
She said: “My mom volunteered to take Brad to the party. She’s going to stay with him for security and comfort reasons. I think that is a better idea.”
I said: “I 100% agree! That sounds best for all parties and still prioritizes Brad’s safety and comfort!”
She said: “Will I see you today?” And then sent two sad face emojis.

TO THIS? I had a significant negative reaction. I didn’t SEND the negative reaction but I took an hour to respond.

I am sick. With a contagious disease. With a disease of which the Hospital said, “Quarantine for 24 hours.” My idiocy stretches to “Making sure I fulfil my obligations.” THEREFORE, as I said I would take Brad to his party, I would take Brad to his party. I am exceptionally pleased that your mother stepped in; but I had made an obligation and was prepared to meet that obligation because that is who I AM always and HAVE always been. But beyond that? The both of us being sick? No. NO. We should both stay home and heal. The very idea of trying to get me to come over to see you when we are BOTH sick is.... dumb, at best.

While I was thinking all of this? After she sent me the two big “Sad Face” and “Teary Eyed Emojis” I sent a long paragraph as to why getting out of bed, putting clothes on, driving o her city, and being with her today wasn’t what was in the best interest of either of us.

To which she sent: “but I want to be in bed with you.”

I’m not a monster. I appreciate that my sick girlfriend wants me in bed with her to comfort and cuddle. I get that. BUT in this instance, it automatically and immediately ignores and trivializes the fact that I AM SICK, TOO! Which… at least I have a type. Apparently I am attracted to, or attracted BY, the type of woman that thinks “If we are both facing X, you need to deal with it and support ME facing X”. As that sounds like this relationship and SO MANY in my past.

My response?
“That sounds sweet! And with the nature of health and wellness, I am certain that there will be a next time where that can happen.”

She sent:
“ok. I’m trying to respect your boundaries. but I don’t like being alone when I am sick. All I want is to cuddle, and I’m definitely crying right now.
I’m trying to guilt you, just being honest. All I ever want when I am sick is someone to cuddle with and be around and no one ever wants to be around me.”
“Wait.. I meant not trying to guilt you“

WHICH… that shit upsets me. It would have been more honest of her before the correction. Because she was 100% trying to guilt me into coming over, despite everything. ANY idiot would be a fool to think otherwise. I held to my doctor’s recommendation. I am staying home.

And… for entirely different reasons… it is a good thing that I did.

We had winds today. They weren’t extreme or massive or anything. Wind was at about 24 mph. But Nala, my dog, kept freaking out and barking her head off at a certain part of fence. I figured it was an animal or something before I peaked my head out.
NOPE. The backyard to my house is atrocious. It was when I bought this house. Fixing the backyard area is the GOAL of my heavy financial investments and sacrifices. FIX THE DECK? Check. FIX THE BACKYARD? Supposed to take place in the next few weeks. BUT APPARENTLY.... when the wind blows, it blows A HOLE IN THE GATE. To the extent that… without GREAT physical labor and TWO bungee cords… the gate cannot close. So, thank goodness Nala was so upset by that bullshit that she indicated (as the neighbors have dogs that could have taken advantage).... and thank goodness I had enough bungee cords for a temporary solution. But welcome to the money pit. Even after $50,000… I still need to address such obvious and minimal shit as “Does the Gate actually close?!”